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  3. Approaching my limit...

Approaching my limit...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • C charlieg

    Ah retirement, the golden years... I'm approaching fts (I'll let you figure out what that means). I still have a lot of stuff to do around the house, and it should keep me busy and away from my SO who is trying to adapt to retirement as well. But wow. I just deleted the rest of my rant. If you are close to this, I would strongly suggest an early trial period if you are married or in a relationship. I'm going bat $hit crazy. Being under the microscope and being hovered over is tasking me. Toss in an 86 yo demented MIL that broke her hip 2 weeks ago, an 88 yo FIL who is showing signs... :mad:

    Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

    F Offline
    F Offline
    fgs1963
    wrote on last edited by
    #12

    I'm 18 months away from fts retirement. The SO has been "retired" for ~5 years already. Luckily no in-laws around and our house is big enough that we can do our own things without bothering each other.

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    • T theoldfool

      Ah, yes, our "Golden Years"! My first retirement 35 years ago, play lots of golf, blah, blah. Reality set in. Started contracting, part time. Retired again (rinse, repeat). SO and I give each other space, divide "around the house" stuff without really documenting it, just happens. Like the saying goes, I just click OK. Older relatives and their ailments/dementia episodes came and went, dealt with as best we could. Hurts when it is parents. I point to my left elbow, "that doesn't hurt". Hang in there, life is good.

      >64 It’s weird being the same age as old people. Live every day like it is your last; one day, it will be.

      M Offline
      M Offline
      MarkTJohnson
      wrote on last edited by
      #13

      theoldfool wrote:

      I point to my left elbow, "that doesn't hurt"

      I got that reference.

      I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated. I’m begging you for the benefit of everyone, don’t be STUPID.

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      • C charlieg

        Ah retirement, the golden years... I'm approaching fts (I'll let you figure out what that means). I still have a lot of stuff to do around the house, and it should keep me busy and away from my SO who is trying to adapt to retirement as well. But wow. I just deleted the rest of my rant. If you are close to this, I would strongly suggest an early trial period if you are married or in a relationship. I'm going bat $hit crazy. Being under the microscope and being hovered over is tasking me. Toss in an 86 yo demented MIL that broke her hip 2 weeks ago, an 88 yo FIL who is showing signs... :mad:

        Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

        J Offline
        J Offline
        jschell
        wrote on last edited by
        #14

        charlieg wrote:

        I still have a lot of stuff to do around the house, and it should keep me busy

        After retirement one needs to fill at least an extra 40 hours a week for another 20 years. So on top of whatever stuff one was already doing while working. That is lot of time. And one has to be completely self driven as well. On the job one is always thinking 'I got to get this done because Bob and Mary really need it to happen'. But in retirement the only driver, again for 20 years, is yourself. More time for gardening? 20 years worth? How big is that yard really? Home improvements? 20 years worth? Even presuming the back holds up. Learning to oil paint? You will be an expert in only 5 years.

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        • H honey the codewitch

          If I live to be old enough to get away with it I'm just going to start biting people.

          Check out my IoT graphics library here: https://honeythecodewitch.com/gfx And my IoT UI/User Experience library here: https://honeythecodewitch.com/uix

          R Offline
          R Offline
          Roger Wright
          wrote on last edited by
          #15

          I paid too much money for these implants to risk them, but I have been considering taking up randomly humping legs. It might not be as much fun as it sounds, but it's likely to score me a private room at the nursing home! :-D

          Will Rogers never met me.

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          • C charlieg

            Ah retirement, the golden years... I'm approaching fts (I'll let you figure out what that means). I still have a lot of stuff to do around the house, and it should keep me busy and away from my SO who is trying to adapt to retirement as well. But wow. I just deleted the rest of my rant. If you are close to this, I would strongly suggest an early trial period if you are married or in a relationship. I'm going bat $hit crazy. Being under the microscope and being hovered over is tasking me. Toss in an 86 yo demented MIL that broke her hip 2 weeks ago, an 88 yo FIL who is showing signs... :mad:

            Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

            abmvA Offline
            abmvA Offline
            abmv
            wrote on last edited by
            #16

            Like bon jovi said.. u have to keep the faith.

            Caveat Emptor. "Progress doesn't come from early risers – progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things." Lazarus Long

            We are in the beginning of a mass extinction. - Greta Thunberg

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            • C charlieg

              Ah retirement, the golden years... I'm approaching fts (I'll let you figure out what that means). I still have a lot of stuff to do around the house, and it should keep me busy and away from my SO who is trying to adapt to retirement as well. But wow. I just deleted the rest of my rant. If you are close to this, I would strongly suggest an early trial period if you are married or in a relationship. I'm going bat $hit crazy. Being under the microscope and being hovered over is tasking me. Toss in an 86 yo demented MIL that broke her hip 2 weeks ago, an 88 yo FIL who is showing signs... :mad:

              Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

              R Offline
              R Offline
              realJSOP
              wrote on last edited by
              #17

              I was gonna retire last July, but I bought another hotrod and SWMBO said I couldn't retire quite yet. Now, I'm set to retire in a year and a half. Me and SWMBO have been working from home since the covid bio attack happened, so we're used to each other. :)

              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

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              • T TNCaver

                dandy72 wrote:

                They'll put you on meds and you'll be sleeping the rest of your life away.

                Some days that doesn't sound so bad.

                There are no solutions, only trade-offs.
                   - Thomas Sowell

                A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.
                   - Calvin (Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes)

                D Offline
                D Offline
                dandy72
                wrote on last edited by
                #18

                Yeah, you can joke about this until they do it to your helpless grandmother, and then your mother decades later. And the workers there think nothing of it.

                T 1 Reply Last reply
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                • C charlieg

                  Ah retirement, the golden years... I'm approaching fts (I'll let you figure out what that means). I still have a lot of stuff to do around the house, and it should keep me busy and away from my SO who is trying to adapt to retirement as well. But wow. I just deleted the rest of my rant. If you are close to this, I would strongly suggest an early trial period if you are married or in a relationship. I'm going bat $hit crazy. Being under the microscope and being hovered over is tasking me. Toss in an 86 yo demented MIL that broke her hip 2 weeks ago, an 88 yo FIL who is showing signs... :mad:

                  Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

                  M Offline
                  M Offline
                  MSBassSinger
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #19

                  I am almost 70, and still love working as a .NET/Azure developer full time. I keep up with changing technology (recently built my first production Blazor web app) so I don’t let age and experience get in the way of being proficient in current and coming technologies. I am sure the day is coming when I either can’t or don’t want to work full time. But that day is not here yet, nor knocking at the door (yet). To preview retirement, I work from home 100% remote. My wife and I worked out the issues of me being home with her 24x7. I have my room for daytime work with a refrigerator, bathroom nearby, and a small kitchen so I don’t get in her way. She comes down to visit and watch TV when she wants to during the day. If possible in the reader’s job, try a year or so of 100% remote before retiring. It sure helped us.

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                  • R realJSOP

                    I was gonna retire last July, but I bought another hotrod and SWMBO said I couldn't retire quite yet. Now, I'm set to retire in a year and a half. Me and SWMBO have been working from home since the covid bio attack happened, so we're used to each other. :)

                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                    D Offline
                    D Offline
                    dandy72
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #20

                    #realJSOP wrote:

                    the covid bio attack

                    :laugh: Not the first time I hear about the idea, but I like your wording. Good to hear from you John. I thought you did retire. Do tell about the hotrod. Do you still have the Mustang?

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                    • C charlieg

                      Ah retirement, the golden years... I'm approaching fts (I'll let you figure out what that means). I still have a lot of stuff to do around the house, and it should keep me busy and away from my SO who is trying to adapt to retirement as well. But wow. I just deleted the rest of my rant. If you are close to this, I would strongly suggest an early trial period if you are married or in a relationship. I'm going bat $hit crazy. Being under the microscope and being hovered over is tasking me. Toss in an 86 yo demented MIL that broke her hip 2 weeks ago, an 88 yo FIL who is showing signs... :mad:

                      Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      charlieg
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #21

                      I appreciate all of your feedback. I know there are some very experienced people here ;) and say something stupid on the lounge, you will reap what you sow. On the other hand, there is an enormous wealth of technical, life, cooking and dealing with cats experience here. In retrospect, I confess to whining a bit. Part of my stress is the MIL busting her hip a few weeks ago (and I'm the in-law). So, wife is stressed for FIL. MIL/FIL have been in an a long term abusive relationship (won't go into it - mental issues at play) and MIL is post mid stage dementia. FIL is now slightly distancing himself from her noise and getting some sleep - starting to see things rationally. The physical situation is that they have lived 5 houses up the street for 10 years, and at first, I thought it was a curse. Today, it's a blessing. We can give him a hot meal (MIL is in PT for another 10 days) and let him vent a bit. He expressed his appreciation that he could drop in, eat some good food and just decompress. Broke my heart that I was irritated at all of the disruption. Helping older family at this time is extraordinarily difficult. You don't want to see it coming, and when it does it's an elephanting freight train. As for work, the first thing I'm going to do is stop bitching and get into the projects. It will help get MIL into assisted living and the next phase of family life. I've committed to MBW to fix or get rid of the broken car and repaint the downstairs with all trim. I'll check in next month. Side note: if there is anyone out there getting into this elder parent care thing, feel free to reach out. All I have are scars, so I might be able to have some suggestions. I used to thing software was complicated, then I started dealing with this.

                      Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

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                      • D dandy72

                        #realJSOP wrote:

                        the covid bio attack

                        :laugh: Not the first time I hear about the idea, but I like your wording. Good to hear from you John. I thought you did retire. Do tell about the hotrod. Do you still have the Mustang?

                        R Offline
                        R Offline
                        realJSOP
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #22

                        Still have the Mustang - it's been ten years since I built it, and it still runs great. The new hotrod is a 1964 Fairlane Thunderbolt tribute with a 429cid engine. I bought it already built - it's visually stunning - but it was built more than 30 years ago, and I've already had to replace the fuel system (including removing all the nitrous equipment), the rear end (4.56 gears are NOT street-driving friendly), most of the electrical system, and the wheels/tires (wheels were chromed steel that were decaying and were too narrow for the tires, and the tires were too old for the tire shop to put back on the car - the date code was 1990). I'm currently working on improving the cooling system - hope to be done with that in the next week or so.

                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                        D 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • R realJSOP

                          Still have the Mustang - it's been ten years since I built it, and it still runs great. The new hotrod is a 1964 Fairlane Thunderbolt tribute with a 429cid engine. I bought it already built - it's visually stunning - but it was built more than 30 years ago, and I've already had to replace the fuel system (including removing all the nitrous equipment), the rear end (4.56 gears are NOT street-driving friendly), most of the electrical system, and the wheels/tires (wheels were chromed steel that were decaying and were too narrow for the tires, and the tires were too old for the tire shop to put back on the car - the date code was 1990). I'm currently working on improving the cooling system - hope to be done with that in the next week or so.

                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                          D Offline
                          D Offline
                          dandy72
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #23

                          #realJSOP wrote:

                          it's been ten years since I built it

                          Has it, already? Man, time flies...

                          #realJSOP wrote:

                          The new hotrod is a 1964 Fairlane Thunderbolt tribute with a 429cid engine. I bought it already built - it's visually stunning

                          That predates me, but I can absolutely appreciate the classics. That is a ride to make heads turn. And it sounds like the previous owner had a garage queen on his hands, and wasn't doing much actual driving.

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                          • D dandy72

                            Yeah, you can joke about this until they do it to your helpless grandmother, and then your mother decades later. And the workers there think nothing of it.

                            T Offline
                            T Offline
                            TNCaver
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #24

                            I meant nothing personal; I apologize if that struck too close to home. I had no idea you were speaking from personal experience.

                            There are no solutions, only trade-offs.
                               - Thomas Sowell

                            A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.
                               - Calvin (Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes)

                            D 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • T TNCaver

                              I meant nothing personal; I apologize if that struck too close to home. I had no idea you were speaking from personal experience.

                              There are no solutions, only trade-offs.
                                 - Thomas Sowell

                              A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.
                                 - Calvin (Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes)

                              D Offline
                              D Offline
                              dandy72
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #25

                              S'all good. Just saying that sort of thing happens.

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