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How to explain things to management

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  • L Offline
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    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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    • L Lost User

      How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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      Paul Watson
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      I don't know anymore, but the next time my boss asks me if we can programme in Word* I am getting him one of these. *And no, he does not mean applications that use Word, he means do we use Word to write C#/VBScript/HTML/CSS etc. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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      • L Lost User

        How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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        ProffK
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        I haven't mentioned it to him yet, but I am itching to tell mine that he tries to make a baby in one month by getting nine mothers on the job. Hallelucination - when you think you see God

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        • P ProffK

          I haven't mentioned it to him yet, but I am itching to tell mine that he tries to make a baby in one month by getting nine mothers on the job. Hallelucination - when you think you see God

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          Brian Delahunty
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          ProffK wrote: but I am itching to tell mine that he tries to make a baby in one month by getting nine mothers on the job. lol :laugh: Brilliant. I'm in a lecture now and I've just burst out laughing... getting some strange looks here.... Regards, Brian Dela :-) http://www.briandela.com IE 6 required.
          http://www.briandela.com/pictures Now with a pictures section :-D
          http://www.briandela.com/rss/newsrss.xml RSS Feed
          MFC.NET Application Wizard Mix .NET

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          • L Lost User

            How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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            Gary Wheeler
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            <facetious_mode> Single syllable words and short sentences. <facetious_mode> Like any other communication, consider your audience. What does your manager need to know that you can tell him/her/it/they? They don't need to hear "the compiler doesn't support partial template specialization". What you can tell them is "our tools don't support a mechanism we'd like to use". In my case, this problem is made easier by the fact they're all hardware, machine-oriented people, and the software I develop runs the machinery. If I can explain a problem in terms of how it affects the machinery, that makes it easier for them to understand. Of course, you always run into the silly yabbo who thinks he understands software, just because he took an eight hour seminar in Visual Basic back in '87 :rolleyes:...


            Software Zen: delete this;

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            • L Lost User

              How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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              Michael A Barnhart
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Trollslayer wrote: How do you explain things to your manager ? $'s "For as long as I can remember, I have had memories. Colin Mochrie."

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              • L Lost User

                How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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                KaRl
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                :doh:


                Silence Means Death Stand On Your Feet Inner Fear Your Worst Enemy

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                • K KaRl

                  :doh:


                  Silence Means Death Stand On Your Feet Inner Fear Your Worst Enemy

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                  Paul Watson
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Surely no self respecting Frenchman is going to use an American implement, right? Wouldn't you rather use an errr... an err... hmm... What sports has France invented BTW? Oh, Croquet, come to think of it a Croquet mallet could be pretty effective. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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                  • K KaRl

                    :doh:


                    Silence Means Death Stand On Your Feet Inner Fear Your Worst Enemy

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                    Michael A Barnhart
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    KaЯl wrote: With a Baseball bat Can not get them by the security gaurds here. :~ "For as long as I can remember, I have had memories. Colin Mochrie."

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                    • P Paul Watson

                      Surely no self respecting Frenchman is going to use an American implement, right? Wouldn't you rather use an errr... an err... hmm... What sports has France invented BTW? Oh, Croquet, come to think of it a Croquet mallet could be pretty effective. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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                      Michael A Barnhart
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Paul Watson wrote: Surely no self respecting Frenchman is going to use an American implement, right? For the selected function, I do not think they would have a problem. Now to hit a ball with could be a different matter. But that is just my perception. "For as long as I can remember, I have had memories. Colin Mochrie."

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                      • L Lost User

                        How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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                        Daniel Turini
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        I use two rules: Never use more than 10 words in a sentence. Never use more than 3 sentences. Why? Because management is stupid? Mostly, but I do believe that there are some clever managers out there. We, programmers, have a tendency to assume that our audience clearly knows what a garbage collected environment is. Come on, I live on a garbage collected environment! Each 3 days a week my garbage is took from my door by an VB programmer. So, why limit sentence length and sentence number? Because, if we allow ourselves to talk more than that, we'll make the mistake of start speaking technically. And why this is bad, besides the communication failure? This damages your image: if you have a smart manager, he knows that the 20 other programmers that started the technical wadawada, were simply wrong or lying. If you start a technical wadawada, he'll assume you're too. Trying to make bits uncopyable is like trying to make water not wet. -- Bruce Schneier By the way, dog_spawn isn't a nickname - it is my name with an underscore instead of a space. -- dog_spawn

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                        • D Daniel Turini

                          I use two rules: Never use more than 10 words in a sentence. Never use more than 3 sentences. Why? Because management is stupid? Mostly, but I do believe that there are some clever managers out there. We, programmers, have a tendency to assume that our audience clearly knows what a garbage collected environment is. Come on, I live on a garbage collected environment! Each 3 days a week my garbage is took from my door by an VB programmer. So, why limit sentence length and sentence number? Because, if we allow ourselves to talk more than that, we'll make the mistake of start speaking technically. And why this is bad, besides the communication failure? This damages your image: if you have a smart manager, he knows that the 20 other programmers that started the technical wadawada, were simply wrong or lying. If you start a technical wadawada, he'll assume you're too. Trying to make bits uncopyable is like trying to make water not wet. -- Bruce Schneier By the way, dog_spawn isn't a nickname - it is my name with an underscore instead of a space. -- dog_spawn

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                          Chris Maunder
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Daniel Turini wrote: wadawada I think I've just found my new favourite word of the day :) cheers, Chris Maunder

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                          • L Lost User

                            How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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                            Ian Darling
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Have you seen the current Microsoft (Windows 2003 Server) ads in the UK? For anyone who hasn't, they essentially go like this: Management Guy: So, what have you been doing? Tech Guy: Wibbler Enabling Dongles and..... MG: (looking confused) TG: ... and Thingy Doodad Activation and... MG: Uhhhh TG: ... and Quantum Virtual Services and ... MG: (BOFH style stack overflow) TG: ... and it's going to save us infinity squared dollars a year. MG: *DINGDINGDINGDINGDING* Really!?! (cut to scene of random office workers dancing about, followed by Microsoft branding and slogan "Do More With Less") -- Ian Darling "The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything." - Joel Spolsky

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                            • L Lost User

                              How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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                              Roger Wright
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Trollslayer wrote: How do you explain things to your manager ? Never try to teach a pig to whistle. You waste your time, and annoy the pig. "Your village called -
                              They're missing their idiot."

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                              • P Paul Watson

                                Surely no self respecting Frenchman is going to use an American implement, right? Wouldn't you rather use an errr... an err... hmm... What sports has France invented BTW? Oh, Croquet, come to think of it a Croquet mallet could be pretty effective. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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                                KaRl
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Don't be so anti-american, would you? ;) * Tennis[^] (from the french word "Tenez!")? * In the old times there was a game a little bit equivalent to rugby, la soule[^] * Also, the first car race in history was Paris-Rouen, in 1894.


                                Silence Means Death Stand On Your Feet Inner Fear Your Worst Enemy

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                                • I Ian Darling

                                  Have you seen the current Microsoft (Windows 2003 Server) ads in the UK? For anyone who hasn't, they essentially go like this: Management Guy: So, what have you been doing? Tech Guy: Wibbler Enabling Dongles and..... MG: (looking confused) TG: ... and Thingy Doodad Activation and... MG: Uhhhh TG: ... and Quantum Virtual Services and ... MG: (BOFH style stack overflow) TG: ... and it's going to save us infinity squared dollars a year. MG: *DINGDINGDINGDINGDING* Really!?! (cut to scene of random office workers dancing about, followed by Microsoft branding and slogan "Do More With Less") -- Ian Darling "The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything." - Joel Spolsky

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                                  Paul Watson
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  >"Do More With Less" Crikey, did you see that Dilbert cartoon that had that the other day? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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                                  • P Paul Watson

                                    >"Do More With Less" Crikey, did you see that Dilbert cartoon that had that the other day? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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                                    Ian Darling
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Yes[^] -- Ian Darling "The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything." - Joel Spolsky

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                                    • K KaRl

                                      Don't be so anti-american, would you? ;) * Tennis[^] (from the french word "Tenez!")? * In the old times there was a game a little bit equivalent to rugby, la soule[^] * Also, the first car race in history was Paris-Rouen, in 1894.


                                      Silence Means Death Stand On Your Feet Inner Fear Your Worst Enemy

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                                      S Offline
                                      Shog9 0
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      KaЯl wrote: * Also, the first car race in history was Paris-Rouen, in 1894. Now, explaining things to management with a racecar... that sounds interesting!

                                      Shog9 ---

                                      You'd better turn back, before the frost sets in. These desert nights are for weathered men, The ones who've already given in...

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                                      • L Lost User

                                        How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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                                        Weiye Chen
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Trollslayer wrote: How do you explain things to your manager ? I don't. In fact, i pray to god to swap my position with my manager.... :) Weiye, Chen When pursuing your dreams, don't forget to enjoy your life...

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                                        • L Lost User

                                          How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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                                          Jim Taylor
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          I've worked out that if I talk to my manager about how I'm planning to do a task he will get confused, come up with nonsensical ideas and schemes to perform a task and expect me to use what he's suggested. However if I just quietly get on and do the work then show my manager when its completed he's quite happy with the result. Jim

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