How to explain things to management
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How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D
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Surely no self respecting Frenchman is going to use an American implement, right? Wouldn't you rather use an errr... an err... hmm... What sports has France invented BTW? Oh, Croquet, come to think of it a Croquet mallet could be pretty effective. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?
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KaЯl wrote: With a Baseball bat Can not get them by the security gaurds here. :~ "For as long as I can remember, I have had memories. Colin Mochrie."
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Surely no self respecting Frenchman is going to use an American implement, right? Wouldn't you rather use an errr... an err... hmm... What sports has France invented BTW? Oh, Croquet, come to think of it a Croquet mallet could be pretty effective. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?
Paul Watson wrote: Surely no self respecting Frenchman is going to use an American implement, right? For the selected function, I do not think they would have a problem. Now to hit a ball with could be a different matter. But that is just my perception. "For as long as I can remember, I have had memories. Colin Mochrie."
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How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D
I use two rules: Never use more than 10 words in a sentence. Never use more than 3 sentences. Why? Because management is stupid? Mostly, but I do believe that there are some clever managers out there. We, programmers, have a tendency to assume that our audience clearly knows what a garbage collected environment is. Come on, I live on a garbage collected environment! Each 3 days a week my garbage is took from my door by an VB programmer. So, why limit sentence length and sentence number? Because, if we allow ourselves to talk more than that, we'll make the mistake of start speaking technically. And why this is bad, besides the communication failure? This damages your image: if you have a smart manager, he knows that the 20 other programmers that started the technical wadawada, were simply wrong or lying. If you start a technical wadawada, he'll assume you're too. Trying to make bits uncopyable is like trying to make water not wet. -- Bruce Schneier By the way, dog_spawn isn't a nickname - it is my name with an underscore instead of a space. -- dog_spawn
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I use two rules: Never use more than 10 words in a sentence. Never use more than 3 sentences. Why? Because management is stupid? Mostly, but I do believe that there are some clever managers out there. We, programmers, have a tendency to assume that our audience clearly knows what a garbage collected environment is. Come on, I live on a garbage collected environment! Each 3 days a week my garbage is took from my door by an VB programmer. So, why limit sentence length and sentence number? Because, if we allow ourselves to talk more than that, we'll make the mistake of start speaking technically. And why this is bad, besides the communication failure? This damages your image: if you have a smart manager, he knows that the 20 other programmers that started the technical wadawada, were simply wrong or lying. If you start a technical wadawada, he'll assume you're too. Trying to make bits uncopyable is like trying to make water not wet. -- Bruce Schneier By the way, dog_spawn isn't a nickname - it is my name with an underscore instead of a space. -- dog_spawn
Daniel Turini wrote: wadawada I think I've just found my new favourite word of the day :) cheers, Chris Maunder
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How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D
Have you seen the current Microsoft (Windows 2003 Server) ads in the UK? For anyone who hasn't, they essentially go like this: Management Guy: So, what have you been doing? Tech Guy: Wibbler Enabling Dongles and..... MG: (looking confused) TG: ... and Thingy Doodad Activation and... MG: Uhhhh TG: ... and Quantum Virtual Services and ... MG: (BOFH style stack overflow) TG: ... and it's going to save us infinity squared dollars a year. MG: *DINGDINGDINGDINGDING* Really!?! (cut to scene of random office workers dancing about, followed by Microsoft branding and slogan "Do More With Less") -- Ian Darling "The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything." - Joel Spolsky
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How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D
Trollslayer wrote: How do you explain things to your manager ? Never try to teach a pig to whistle. You waste your time, and annoy the pig. "Your village called -
They're missing their idiot." -
Surely no self respecting Frenchman is going to use an American implement, right? Wouldn't you rather use an errr... an err... hmm... What sports has France invented BTW? Oh, Croquet, come to think of it a Croquet mallet could be pretty effective. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?
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Have you seen the current Microsoft (Windows 2003 Server) ads in the UK? For anyone who hasn't, they essentially go like this: Management Guy: So, what have you been doing? Tech Guy: Wibbler Enabling Dongles and..... MG: (looking confused) TG: ... and Thingy Doodad Activation and... MG: Uhhhh TG: ... and Quantum Virtual Services and ... MG: (BOFH style stack overflow) TG: ... and it's going to save us infinity squared dollars a year. MG: *DINGDINGDINGDINGDING* Really!?! (cut to scene of random office workers dancing about, followed by Microsoft branding and slogan "Do More With Less") -- Ian Darling "The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything." - Joel Spolsky
>"Do More With Less" Crikey, did you see that Dilbert cartoon that had that the other day? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?
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>"Do More With Less" Crikey, did you see that Dilbert cartoon that had that the other day? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?
Yes[^] -- Ian Darling "The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything." - Joel Spolsky
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KaЯl wrote: * Also, the first car race in history was Paris-Rouen, in 1894. Now, explaining things to management with a racecar... that sounds interesting!
Shog9 ---
You'd better turn back, before the frost sets in. These desert nights are for weathered men, The ones who've already given in...
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How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D
Trollslayer wrote: How do you explain things to your manager ? I don't. In fact, i pray to god to swap my position with my manager.... :) Weiye, Chen When pursuing your dreams, don't forget to enjoy your life...
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How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D
I've worked out that if I talk to my manager about how I'm planning to do a task he will get confused, come up with nonsensical ideas and schemes to perform a task and expect me to use what he's suggested. However if I just quietly get on and do the work then show my manager when its completed he's quite happy with the result. Jim
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Trollslayer wrote: How do you explain things to your manager ? I don't. In fact, i pray to god to swap my position with my manager.... :) Weiye, Chen When pursuing your dreams, don't forget to enjoy your life...
You don't want their job, trust me. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?
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How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D
Our non-technical MD, explaining how "simple" software, and in particular crunching binary numbers are in his view, to an overbusy R&D department, said: "Well, it's easy... it's all just 1s and 2s". We've never let him forget that. S
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Paul Watson wrote: Surely no self respecting Frenchman is going to use an American implement, right? For the selected function, I do not think they would have a problem. Now to hit a ball with could be a different matter. But that is just my perception. "For as long as I can remember, I have had memories. Colin Mochrie."
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ProffK wrote: but I am itching to tell mine that he tries to make a baby in one month by getting nine mothers on the job. lol :laugh: Brilliant. I'm in a lecture now and I've just burst out laughing... getting some strange looks here.... Regards, Brian Dela :-) http://www.briandela.com IE 6 required.
http://www.briandela.com/pictures Now with a pictures section :-D
http://www.briandela.com/rss/newsrss.xml RSS Feed
MFC.NET Application Wizard Mix .NETBrian Delahunty wrote: I'm in a lecture now and I've just burst out laughing... If you are receiving the lecture, then shame on you! You should be paying attention. If you are giving the lecture, then um, err, more shame on you! Iain. ps. Pratchett books used to have the same "get the strait jacket, Bob!" effects on me.
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KaЯl wrote: With a Baseball bat Can not get them by the security gaurds here. :~ "For as long as I can remember, I have had memories. Colin Mochrie."
Michael A. Barnhart wrote: Can not get them by the security gaurds here Tell them its a "highly calibrated executive enlightenment doohickey". And slip past while they're looking for the aspirin... Iain.
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How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D
Sock puppet. :-D j/k My manager is fantastic.
Jon Sagara Vegetarianism is unhealthy. Humans need protein, and lots of it. Put down those sprouts and pick up a T-bone! -- Michael Moore
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