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  3. How to explain things to management

How to explain things to management

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  • I Ian Darling

    Have you seen the current Microsoft (Windows 2003 Server) ads in the UK? For anyone who hasn't, they essentially go like this: Management Guy: So, what have you been doing? Tech Guy: Wibbler Enabling Dongles and..... MG: (looking confused) TG: ... and Thingy Doodad Activation and... MG: Uhhhh TG: ... and Quantum Virtual Services and ... MG: (BOFH style stack overflow) TG: ... and it's going to save us infinity squared dollars a year. MG: *DINGDINGDINGDINGDING* Really!?! (cut to scene of random office workers dancing about, followed by Microsoft branding and slogan "Do More With Less") -- Ian Darling "The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything." - Joel Spolsky

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    Paul Watson
    wrote on last edited by
    #16

    >"Do More With Less" Crikey, did you see that Dilbert cartoon that had that the other day? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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    • P Paul Watson

      >"Do More With Less" Crikey, did you see that Dilbert cartoon that had that the other day? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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      Ian Darling
      wrote on last edited by
      #17

      Yes[^] -- Ian Darling "The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything." - Joel Spolsky

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      • K KaRl

        Don't be so anti-american, would you? ;) * Tennis[^] (from the french word "Tenez!")? * In the old times there was a game a little bit equivalent to rugby, la soule[^] * Also, the first car race in history was Paris-Rouen, in 1894.


        Silence Means Death Stand On Your Feet Inner Fear Your Worst Enemy

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        Shog9 0
        wrote on last edited by
        #18

        KaЯl wrote: * Also, the first car race in history was Paris-Rouen, in 1894. Now, explaining things to management with a racecar... that sounds interesting!

        Shog9 ---

        You'd better turn back, before the frost sets in. These desert nights are for weathered men, The ones who've already given in...

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        • L Lost User

          How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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          Weiye Chen
          wrote on last edited by
          #19

          Trollslayer wrote: How do you explain things to your manager ? I don't. In fact, i pray to god to swap my position with my manager.... :) Weiye, Chen When pursuing your dreams, don't forget to enjoy your life...

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          • L Lost User

            How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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            Jim Taylor
            wrote on last edited by
            #20

            I've worked out that if I talk to my manager about how I'm planning to do a task he will get confused, come up with nonsensical ideas and schemes to perform a task and expect me to use what he's suggested. However if I just quietly get on and do the work then show my manager when its completed he's quite happy with the result. Jim

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            • W Weiye Chen

              Trollslayer wrote: How do you explain things to your manager ? I don't. In fact, i pray to god to swap my position with my manager.... :) Weiye, Chen When pursuing your dreams, don't forget to enjoy your life...

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              Paul Watson
              wrote on last edited by
              #21

              You don't want their job, trust me. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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              • L Lost User

                How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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                Sam Woodward
                wrote on last edited by
                #22

                Our non-technical MD, explaining how "simple" software, and in particular crunching binary numbers are in his view, to an overbusy R&D department, said: "Well, it's easy... it's all just 1s and 2s". We've never let him forget that. S

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                • M Michael A Barnhart

                  Paul Watson wrote: Surely no self respecting Frenchman is going to use an American implement, right? For the selected function, I do not think they would have a problem. Now to hit a ball with could be a different matter. But that is just my perception. "For as long as I can remember, I have had memories. Colin Mochrie."

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                  KaRl
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #23

                  Pan![^] :)


                  Silence Means Death Stand On Your Feet Inner Fear Your Worst Enemy

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                  • B Brian Delahunty

                    ProffK wrote: but I am itching to tell mine that he tries to make a baby in one month by getting nine mothers on the job. lol :laugh: Brilliant. I'm in a lecture now and I've just burst out laughing... getting some strange looks here.... Regards, Brian Dela :-) http://www.briandela.com IE 6 required.
                    http://www.briandela.com/pictures Now with a pictures section :-D
                    http://www.briandela.com/rss/newsrss.xml RSS Feed
                    MFC.NET Application Wizard Mix .NET

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                    Iain Clarke Warrior Programmer
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #24

                    Brian Delahunty wrote: I'm in a lecture now and I've just burst out laughing... If you are receiving the lecture, then shame on you! You should be paying attention. If you are giving the lecture, then um, err, more shame on you! Iain. ps. Pratchett books used to have the same "get the strait jacket, Bob!" effects on me.

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                    • M Michael A Barnhart

                      KaЯl wrote: With a Baseball bat Can not get them by the security gaurds here. :~ "For as long as I can remember, I have had memories. Colin Mochrie."

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                      Iain Clarke Warrior Programmer
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #25

                      Michael A. Barnhart wrote: Can not get them by the security gaurds here Tell them its a "highly calibrated executive enlightenment doohickey". And slip past while they're looking for the aspirin... Iain.

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                      • L Lost User

                        How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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                        Jon Sagara
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #26

                        Sock puppet. :-D j/k My manager is fantastic.

                        Jon Sagara Vegetarianism is unhealthy. Humans need protein, and lots of it. Put down those sprouts and pick up a T-bone! -- Michael Moore
                        Latest Article: Breadcrumbs in ASP.NET

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                        • L Lost User

                          How do you explain things to your manager ? I find a number of phrases such as "There is nothing complicated about software. There are, however, five million simple things" help. Also, using non softwre terms without mangling what I'm trying to communicate helps. Any ideas/comments/jokes/horror stories ? Elaine :rose: The tigress is here :-D

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                          KaRl
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #27

                          A lot of tricks and advices in "Guerilla tactics for an imperfect World"[^], by our CPian fellow Chrstopher Duncan: Chapter 10: "Managing your managment" - Improving communication - Institution change - Bolstering your position - Frontal Assault (for those who respond to reason) - Stealth tactics (when reason is not enough) - Credibility, the key to success No, it's not an advertisement, it's a tip. :-D


                          Silence Means Death Stand On Your Feet Inner Fear Your Worst Enemy

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                          • K KaRl

                            Don't be so anti-american, would you? ;) * Tennis[^] (from the french word "Tenez!")? * In the old times there was a game a little bit equivalent to rugby, la soule[^] * Also, the first car race in history was Paris-Rouen, in 1894.


                            Silence Means Death Stand On Your Feet Inner Fear Your Worst Enemy

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                            Dave S
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #28

                            KaЯl wrote: Also, the first car race in history was Paris-Rouen, in 1894. Hitting someone with a race car would be MOST effective :laugh: "It takes a minimum of redesign to turn a crucifix into a pogo stick"

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                            • P Paul Watson

                              I don't know anymore, but the next time my boss asks me if we can programme in Word* I am getting him one of these. *And no, he does not mean applications that use Word, he means do we use Word to write C#/VBScript/HTML/CSS etc. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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                              Steve Mayfield
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #29

                              Give him one of these[^] and then tell him where to go... Steve

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                              • S Steve Mayfield

                                Give him one of these[^] and then tell him where to go... Steve

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                                Paul Watson
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #30

                                You mean they have hell on their map? Impressive! ;) hehe regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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                                • P Paul Watson

                                  You mean they have hell on their map? Impressive! ;) hehe regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand?

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                                  Steve Mayfield
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #31

                                  Yes, there is a Hell, Michigan[^] and Hell, Michigan[^] - it even freezes over almost every year[^]..really :cool: Steve

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