More Jokes for Melissa...
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
Another One... Q: If a married man makes a mistake... what should he do? A: Forget it immediately... no reason to have two people who will remember it for the rest of their lives.
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Another One... Q: If a married man makes a mistake... what should he do? A: Forget it immediately... no reason to have two people who will remember it for the rest of their lives.
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
Am I the only one worried about Melissa's blah day? Here is another one. Q. What do you call 6th grade in the Australian Outback? A: A higher education.
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Am I the only one worried about Melissa's blah day? Here is another one. Q. What do you call 6th grade in the Australian Outback? A: A higher education.
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John McIlroy wrote: Am I the only one worried about Melissa's blah day? Hee hee how sweet :) :-O Melissa
Melissa_N wrote: Hee hee how sweet Am i the only male who really likes that girly-talk? :) Simon Hey, it looks like you're writing a letter! Sonork ID 100.10024
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
I think some (if not all) of these originally came from the Dilbert website, but made it to me via a co-worker. A bunch of mixed-up cliches... "Cut the cake a different way and go for the lowest hanging fruit." "We'd be biting off a new can of worms." "Don't kiss a gift horse in the mouth." "I've got a card in my hole." "Well, it's no skin off MY teeth!" "sweating like a stuck pig." "That's just cutting your throat to spite your face." "This project is like pulling hen's teeth." "I'm being raped over the coals." "I don't want to throw another monkey at the wrench right now." At one meeting my boss said, "That'll put the can amongst the worms." "This is not rocket surgery." The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Melissa_N wrote: Hee hee how sweet Am i the only male who really likes that girly-talk? :) Simon Hey, it looks like you're writing a letter! Sonork ID 100.10024
I'm expecting someone to call for an age/sex check next.
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I'm expecting someone to call for an age/sex check next.
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Melissa_N wrote: Hee hee how sweet Am i the only male who really likes that girly-talk? :) Simon Hey, it looks like you're writing a letter! Sonork ID 100.10024
I like it as long as ends with a primal scream of a woman in the throes of a stupendous orgasm... Of course, that should surprise nobody here... "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
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I like it as long as ends with a primal scream of a woman in the throes of a stupendous orgasm... Of course, that should surprise nobody here... "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
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I like it as long as ends with a primal scream of a woman in the throes of a stupendous orgasm... Of course, that should surprise nobody here... "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: Of course, that should surprise nobody here... Hehehehe :) you're too funny, John, just classic :) Melissa
If you'd like, I can give you a chance to practice the combination I described earler... (evil grin). "hee hee , isn't that sweeeeEEEAAAAAAAARGGGGGH OOOOOOH MYYY YI YI YI YI GOD UH UH UH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" It goes something like that. All I need now is a tape of you practicing that, a nude picture of Gillian Anderson, and a bottle of liquid soap. If you need more practice, I'll let you know in a day or two... "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
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If you'd like, I can give you a chance to practice the combination I described earler... (evil grin). "hee hee , isn't that sweeeeEEEAAAAAAAARGGGGGH OOOOOOH MYYY YI YI YI YI GOD UH UH UH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" It goes something like that. All I need now is a tape of you practicing that, a nude picture of Gillian Anderson, and a bottle of liquid soap. If you need more practice, I'll let you know in a day or two... "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
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Henry Jacobs wrote: call for an age/sex check next. I don't get it....??? what are you saying? Melissa
It's kind of an IRC/chat room thing, where people post their age/sex/location. e.g. Nick> 127/both/Swaziland
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
You will love that one... - A noted sex therapist realized that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone had sex. To prove his theory, he filled up an auditorium with people, and went down the line asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately how often each person had sex. The last man in line was grinning from ear to ear. "Twice a day," the therapist guessed, but was surprised when the man said no. "Once a day, then?" Again the answer was no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" "No." When the doctor asked, "Once a year?" the man finally said yes. The therapist was angry that his theory hadn’t worked with this individual, and he asked the man, "What the heck are you so happy about?" The man answered, "Tonight's the night!"
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!" The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from. The little girl replied, ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree. The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties." ''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl. The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?" The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed." The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...'' Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
There were two friends, a white guy and a black guy. One evening, they were in a bar arguing over which of them could have sex the most times in one night. They decided to settle the issue by going to the local whorehouse for the evening. So they got to the whorehouse, paired off with a couple of the ladies, and went to their respective rooms. The white guy energetically balled his whore and, reaching up with a pencil, marked a line on the wall. Then he fell asleep. He woke up in a couple of hours and screwed the whore again, albeit a little less enthusiastically. Again, he reached back and marked a line on the wall. Again, he fell asleep. He woke up again in a couple of hours and lethargically humped the hooker again. He drowsily marked a third line on the wall and fell asleep for the rest of the night. The next morning, the black guy barged into the white guy's room to see how he did. He took one look at the wall and exclaimed, "A hundred and eleven? You beat me by three!"
