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  3. More Jokes for Melissa...

More Jokes for Melissa...

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  • J John McIlroy

    Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?

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    Ernest Laurentin
    wrote on last edited by
    #19

    One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!" The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from. The little girl replied, ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree. The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties." ''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl. The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?" The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed." The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...'' Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''

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    • J John McIlroy

      Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?

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      Ernest Laurentin
      wrote on last edited by
      #20

      There were two friends, a white guy and a black guy. One evening, they were in a bar arguing over which of them could have sex the most times in one night. They decided to settle the issue by going to the local whorehouse for the evening. So they got to the whorehouse, paired off with a couple of the ladies, and went to their respective rooms. The white guy energetically balled his whore and, reaching up with a pencil, marked a line on the wall. Then he fell asleep. He woke up in a couple of hours and screwed the whore again, albeit a little less enthusiastically. Again, he reached back and marked a line on the wall. Again, he fell asleep. He woke up again in a couple of hours and lethargically humped the hooker again. He drowsily marked a third line on the wall and fell asleep for the rest of the night. The next morning, the black guy barged into the white guy's room to see how he did. He took one look at the wall and exclaimed, "A hundred and eleven? You beat me by three!"

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      • K Kevnar

        Did you hear about the blond who passed the Turing test? Sorry. That was a bad one. I know. Computer science students will get it.:laugh:

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        Simon Walton
        wrote on last edited by
        #21

        Kevin Ranville wrote: Did you hear about the blond who passed the Turing test? lol :laugh: Simon Hey, it looks like you're writing a letter! Sonork ID 100.10024

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        • S Simon Walton

          Kevin Ranville wrote: Did you hear about the blond who passed the Turing test? lol :laugh: Simon Hey, it looks like you're writing a letter! Sonork ID 100.10024

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          Kevnar
          wrote on last edited by
          #22

          You must be a computer science student.

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          • J John McIlroy

            Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?

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            Kevnar
            wrote on last edited by
            #23

            Random Bar Joke Generator. It parses together snippets from all the cliches of every bar joke ever told, or so it would seem... http://www.brunching.com/cgi/barjoke.cgi? Occasionally these things accidentally make sense. The rest are even funnier. :laugh:

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            • K Kevnar

              You must be a computer science student.

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              Simon Walton
              wrote on last edited by
              #24

              How did you guess? :) We haven't actually done AI yet though, i just know a little about it. Simon Hey, it looks like you're writing a letter! Sonork ID 100.10024

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              • N Nick Carruthers

                It's kind of an IRC/chat room thing, where people post their age/sex/location. e.g. Nick> 127/both/Swaziland

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                peterchen
                wrote on last edited by
                #25

                >> age/sex/location my typical answer being "to old, not very often, at home"

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                • M Melissa_N

                  LOL :) hehehe Thanks for the many jokes, guys and you even started a new thread for me! Awww :) I'm touched! Melissa

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                  Nish Nishant
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #26

                  Programmers are human too melissa. The moment they see a damsel in distress, they come up with jokes. In this they dont fight over C# and VB and Linux and windows and IE and netscape. They just dig up jokes for the poor melissa damsel :-) Nish Sonork ID 100.9786 voidmain www.busterboy.org If you don't find me on CP, I'll be at Bob's HungOut

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                  • H Henry Jacobs

                    I'm expecting someone to call for an age/sex check next.

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                    l a u r e n
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #27

                    hahaha was thinking that myself --- "every year we invent better idiot proof systems and every year they invent better idiots ... and the linux zealots still aren't being sterilized"

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                    • realJSOPR realJSOP

                      I choked - sorry... :) "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

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                      l a u r e n
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #28

                      John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: I choked - sorry... didnt momma tell u never to swallow? ;) --- "every year we invent better idiot proof systems and every year they invent better idiots ... and the linux zealots still aren't being sterilized"

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                      • H Henry Jacobs

                        I'm expecting someone to call for an age/sex check next.

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                        Paul Watson
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #29

                        Henry Jacobs wrote: I'm expecting someone to call for an age/sex check next. LOL yes. Newbie > Hi all Room > Hi Newbie Newbie > ASL everyone. Op > k9 kick newbie be more polite IRC got really annoying with people who asked ASL before they even said hello or how are you. p.s. before anyone asks, ASL stands for Age, Sex, Location regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa Do you Sonork? I do! 100.9903 Stormfront "The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love, and be loved in return" - Moulin Rouge

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