Hours of reading fun...

El Corazon

HarveySaayman wrote:

Ive been reading the stupid things customers do and say since then :)

I always laugh remembering my first assignment here. One of the customers didn't want the cost of a UPS in the back of an 18 wheel van with a supercomputer and 16 rackmount PC's and dozens of monitors (4 dozen if I recall). He said all he really needed was us to display a message on the screen informing the operator that power had been lost and wait so that he would not panic. As I sat there staring in complete dumbfounded shock, the other programmer with much more experience in government work than I jumped out saying it was a great idea and started laying out the plan for a rube goldburg machine triggered by the loss of electricity and eventually dropping a sign with the words "don't panic, the electricity will return momentarily" with a flashlight turning on illuminating the words. Eventually the customer caught on that the loss of electricity severely limited what could be done. He paid for the UPS for his van.

Paul Conrad

The tech support one with the wireless router is good :laugh::laugh::laugh:

"The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon

Jerry Hammond

Work with the public on a regular basis and you'll change your tune.

“If we are all in agreement on the decision - then I propose we postpone further discussion of this matter until our next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement and perhaps gain some understanding of what the decision is all about.”-Alfred P. Sloan

JimmyRopes

No thank you. :-D

Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes

Andy Brummer

What a waste. One of my favorite cuts of beef to cook was a standing rib roast. The bonus was that I got most of it to myself since my wife would only eat the end pieces that were browned on the outside. We did have to fight it out over the ribs though, but the succulent perfectly rare hunk of meat in the center was all mine. An added bonus was making my relatives antsy as they watched it sitting out both when I let it come up to room temperature before cooking and when it rested after taking it out of the oven. I grew up eating everything "well done" and above, most of the time the only red was the meat juices that had been squeezed out from over cooking. :sigh: :doh:. Though my mother was pretty good at braising a roast, everything else was leathery and tough. Sometimes people just don't know any better.

This blanket smells like ham

Paul Conrad

Gary R. Wheeler wrote:

We took a $20 cut of meat and turned it into a $2 hunk of charcoal.

Yummy, not! :laugh: I am glad I stopped working in food services some time ago :-D

"The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon

Ashley van Gerven

Gold... phones in to support for a code for a copied disc: http://notalwaysright.com/thickheaded-as-thieves/739 :laugh:

"For fifty bucks I'd put my face in their soup and blow." - George Costanza

JDL EPM

Paul Conrad wrote:

Gary R. Wheeler wrote: We took a $20 cut of meat and turned it into a $2 hunk of charcoal.

My parents were dairy farmers who didn't have a lot of money when they started out. When the cows couldn't produce milk anymore, they were slaughtered, frozen and we ate them. The oldest one that this happened to was Gentle (nearly 29 years old), so you can guage how tender they might have been. When we became a little more successful, we were able to buy Aberdeen Angus steaks. My mother continued to treat the meat in the same manner. First, sear the meat in a frying pan at high temperatures to seal in the juices. Second, pour water over the meat. Third, turn down the flame to a simmer. Fourth, go out and rake a field of hay or (insert other activity taking between 1 and two hours). We had the most wonderful gravy - and string. :laugh:

chrisbray

I concur - customers are thick... I swear this is true - I had a customer for a software product phone up for support. He was absolutely *furious* because he could not get a report for the 31st April!! Chris Bray

goodideadave

That's hilarious. You gave me a mental image of Groucho Marx's, "Say the secret woid and win $50", with a duck dropping out of the ceiling with the "Don't Panic" sign attached and a flashlight, already switched on. Thanks! :laugh:

Someone's gotta be the last to know, but why is it always me?