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NHS Direct

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  • P Offline
    P Offline
    Pete OHanlon
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello." "Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at R.V.I. Newcastle. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well... We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good." "What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. "Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which." "That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders. "Normally we can, but the NHS will only pay for these expensive tests once." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" "The NHS Helpdesk recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.

    I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

    Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

    My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

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    • P Pete OHanlon

      The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello." "Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at R.V.I. Newcastle. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well... We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good." "What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. "Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which." "That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders. "Normally we can, but the NHS will only pay for these expensive tests once." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" "The NHS Helpdesk recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.

      I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

      Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

      D Offline
      D Offline
      Dalek Dave
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Precambrian Gag!

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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      • D Dalek Dave

        Precambrian Gag!

        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

        S Offline
        S Offline
        Single Step Debugger
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        You mean the original joke has been with Mrs. Raptor?

        There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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        • S Single Step Debugger

          You mean the original joke has been with Mrs. Raptor?

          There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

          D Offline
          D Offline
          Dalek Dave
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          PREcambrian, it ended about 400 million years before the Dinosaurs!

          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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          • D Dalek Dave

            PREcambrian, it ended about 400 million years before the Dinosaurs!

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

            P Offline
            P Offline
            Pete OHanlon
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            That was when my phone call to NHS direct started. I have high hopes that I will eventually be put through to an evolved life form. Currently, I am in touch with the Primordial Soup.

            I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

            Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

            D 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • P Pete OHanlon

              That was when my phone call to NHS direct started. I have high hopes that I will eventually be put through to an evolved life form. Currently, I am in touch with the Primordial Soup.

              I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

              Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

              My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

              D Offline
              D Offline
              Dalek Dave
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Eat up that Primordial soup, it will do you the world of good!

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

              S 1 Reply Last reply
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              • D Dalek Dave

                PREcambrian, it ended about 400 million years before the Dinosaurs!

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                S Offline
                S Offline
                Single Step Debugger
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                I stand corrected; it would be Mrs. Trilobite then.

                There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                D 1 Reply Last reply
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                • D Dalek Dave

                  Eat up that Primordial soup, it will do you the world of good!

                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                  S Offline
                  S Offline
                  Single Step Debugger
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  I don’t think he will be able to metabolize it.

                  There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • S Single Step Debugger

                    I stand corrected; it would be Mrs. Trilobite then.

                    There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                    D Offline
                    D Offline
                    Dalek Dave
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Ah yes, Mrs Trilobite, first name Shelly?

                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                    S 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • D Dalek Dave

                      Ah yes, Mrs Trilobite, first name Shelly?

                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                      S Offline
                      S Offline
                      Single Step Debugger
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Mrs. Shelly Hard Trilobite if we have to be precise.

                      There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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