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Less than 4 hours to judgement day

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  • C Chris Meech

    You are quite correct. These are known as "rapture zones". Due to a resource constraint, The All Knowing is only capable of working at at a pace of 1 RZ per hour and thus it is going to take all day to get the job done. The resource constraint has unfortunately occurred because millions of Angels have had to be let go recently. You know, the financial crisis and all. :)

    Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

    OriginalGriffO Offline
    OriginalGriffO Offline
    OriginalGriff
    wrote on last edited by
    #20

    Grief! I didn't know heaven invested in Icelandic banks...

    Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."

    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
    "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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    • D Dalek Dave

      Obviously it happens at Midnight tonight British Summer Time. The Greenwich Meridian was chosen, because as we all know, Jesus was an Englishman.

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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      hairy_hats
      wrote on last edited by
      #21

      Dalek Dave wrote:

      The Greenwich Meridian was chosen, because as we all know, Jesus was an Englishman.

      Wouldn't that make it JMT?

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      • G gavindon

        now wait a minute, which time zone is set for judgment day? Where I'm at its 15 hours to go,assuming it happens at midnight. It would have to happen all at once wouldn't it? Just wanna know how long I have left here you know, a difference of 11 hours is major. Even though come to think of it, its not at all fair. If judgment day happens by your time zone, I'm getting ripped off almost a whole day. If it happens by my time zone, you got an extra, no fair..

        Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.

        K Offline
        K Offline
        Keith Barrow
        wrote on last edited by
        #22

        Given that the thing is due to sweep the Earth according to time zone, what happens at the poles?

        Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
        -Or-
        A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

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        • K Keith Barrow

          Given that the thing is due to sweep the Earth according to time zone, what happens at the poles?

          Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
          -Or-
          A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #23

          Keith Barrow wrote:

          what happens at the poles?

          They live in most countries now so it will just deal with them on an individual basis.

          Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

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          • P peterchen

            Will that be geographical or geopolitical time zones? Is there still time to create a "permanently friday afternoon" time zone?

            FILETIME to time_t
            | FoldWithUs! | sighist | WhoIncludes - Analyzing C++ include file hierarchy

            C Offline
            C Offline
            Chris Meech
            wrote on last edited by
            #24

            peterchen wrote:

            create a "permanently friday afternoon" time zone

            DD and Nagy have that one staked out already. :)

            Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

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            • C Chris Meech

              peterchen wrote:

              create a "permanently friday afternoon" time zone

              DD and Nagy have that one staked out already. :)

              Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

              D Offline
              D Offline
              Dalek Dave
              wrote on last edited by
              #25

              Hic, you're my best mate you are, hic. I wanna kebab.

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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              • D Dalek Dave

                Hic, you're my best mate you are, hic. I wanna kebab.

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                C Offline
                C Offline
                Chris Meech
                wrote on last edited by
                #26

                Dalek Dave wrote:

                I wanna kebab.

                Sorry, I've got two left feet when it comes to dancing. :)

                Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

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                • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                  BAD: Oh no I'm going to die and go to hell. GOOD: I'll know everyone

                  Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
                  www.jaxcoder.com[^] WinHeist

                  G Offline
                  G Offline
                  gavindon
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #27

                  Mike Hankey wrote:

                  Oh no I'm going to die and go to hell.

                  its over rated, I've already been there and got kicked out for peddling ice water.

                  Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.

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                  • N Nagy Vilmos

                    No, the rapture will flow around the world so that it hits everywhere at the same local time. God's [note the use of an apostrophe] like that, being omnipotent he knows that the numpties can't handle the concept of different time zones so to make it easier for them He'll destroy the world in 24 separate events. Luckily as an omnipresent entity, He can prevent anyone from outside the current target zone from knowing what's happening so that everyone will be hit at 6pm tomorrow irrespective of where they live. [As a Christian, does the above mean I'm going to hell?]


                    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often *students*, for heaven's sake. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

                    S Offline
                    S Offline
                    Soulus83
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #28

                    Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                    [As a Christian, does the above mean I'm going to hell?]

                    Ask CG and CM :-D

                    "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--either way, you are right." — Henry Ford

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                    • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                      You're just jealous because no-body outside Hungary has heard of anyone inside Hungary! :laugh:

                      Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."

                      N Offline
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                      Nagy Vilmos
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #29

                      OriginalGriff wrote:

                      You're just jealous because no-body outside Hungary has heard of anyone inside Hungary

                      Biro? Rubik? Liszt? Nagy Vilmos? World famous!


                      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often *students*, for heaven's sake. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

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                      • G Gregory Gadow

                        Nope. It starts at 6pm local time. Yup, the "prophet" has said it will start at 6pm at the International Date Line and proceed west, with one whole time zone being raptured every hour. Apparently it is a lot of work to lift the faithful bodily into Heaven and God needs to work on a schedule.

                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        Soulus83
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #30

                        If God himself was performing the job, it will happen at the same time...fortunately he has employees that can do it :-D God...are you a PM? :confused:

                        "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--either way, you are right." — Henry Ford

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                        • G gavindon

                          Mike Hankey wrote:

                          Oh no I'm going to die and go to hell.

                          its over rated, I've already been there and got kicked out for peddling ice water.

                          Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.

                          S Offline
                          S Offline
                          Soulus83
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #31

                          Of course, who would need ice water when all of your customers are being drawn in an ice pool? (Dante's Inferno)(The novel, not the game...although is a good one :laugh: )

                          "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--either way, you are right." — Henry Ford

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                          • S Stephen Wiria

                            And i haven't pack up things yet! Should I bring my cat and my iPad[^]?

                            realJSOPR Offline
                            realJSOPR Offline
                            realJSOP
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #32

                            That brings up an interesting point. Does judgement day happen immediately at midnight GMT (a line of longitude established by man), or is it one of the other timezones that's used by god to determine the exact time that judgement day begins?

                            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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                            • D Dalek Dave

                              Hic, you're my best mate you are, hic. I wanna kebab.

                              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                              N Offline
                              N Offline
                              Nagy Vilmos
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #33

                              I object to this insinuation that we go out and get trashed every Friday. There's six other days worth of beer being ignored. :-D


                              Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often *students*, for heaven's sake. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

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                              • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                That brings up an interesting point. Does judgement day happen immediately at midnight GMT (a line of longitude established by man), or is it one of the other timezones that's used by god to determine the exact time that judgement day begins?

                                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                N Offline
                                N Offline
                                Nagy Vilmos
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #34

                                Check various other psots, it's 6pm local time everywhere!


                                Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often *students*, for heaven's sake. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

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                                • S scottgp

                                  But all dogs go to heaven, right? Scott

                                  H Offline
                                  H Offline
                                  hairy_hats
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #35

                                  Only the ones that don't crap on footpaths or children's play areas or in parks or bark incessantly all the time their owners are out or...well, basically, no.

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                                  • S Stephen Wiria

                                    And i haven't pack up things yet! Should I bring my cat and my iPad[^]?

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    Member 96
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #36

                                    It can't come soon enough to get rid of all these crazy zealots. Dibs on the biggest yacht I can find that was abandoned by enraptured Christians! :)


                                    There is no failure only feedback

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                                    • K Keith Barrow

                                      Given that the thing is due to sweep the Earth according to time zone, what happens at the poles?

                                      Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                                      -Or-
                                      A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                                      G Offline
                                      G Offline
                                      Gary Wheeler
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #37

                                      And will it alter how many of them are required to change a light bulb?

                                      Software Zen: delete this;

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                                      • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                        That brings up an interesting point. Does judgement day happen immediately at midnight GMT (a line of longitude established by man), or is it one of the other timezones that's used by god to determine the exact time that judgement day begins?

                                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                        -----
                                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                        -----
                                        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                        Mike HankeyM Offline
                                        Mike HankeyM Offline
                                        Mike Hankey
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #38

                                        I think he's on DJT (Daylight Judgement Time) :)

                                        Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
                                        www.jaxcoder.com[^] WinHeist

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                                        • S Stephen Wiria

                                          And i haven't pack up things yet! Should I bring my cat and my iPad[^]?

                                          T Offline
                                          T Offline
                                          thrakazog
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #39

                                          Your 4 hours have passed. Are there any people ascending in your area? :laugh:

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