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Brilliancy

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  • S Offline
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    Sandesh M Patil
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked, "Boy, what is your problem?" Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!" Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Boy: "9". Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Boy: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the 4th grade." Madam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agreed. Madam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of"? Boy, after a moment "Legs." Madam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" Boy: "Pockets." Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: Coconut Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge. Boy: Bubblegum Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer... Boy: Shake hands Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Boy: Tent Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg. Boy: Wedding Ring Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Boy.: Nose Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Boy.: Arrow Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement? Boy: Firetruck Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u ha

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    • S Sandesh M Patil

      Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked, "Boy, what is your problem?" Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!" Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Boy: "9". Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Boy: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the 4th grade." Madam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agreed. Madam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of"? Boy, after a moment "Legs." Madam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" Boy: "Pockets." Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: Coconut Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge. Boy: Bubblegum Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer... Boy: Shake hands Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Boy: Tent Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg. Boy: Wedding Ring Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Boy.: Nose Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Boy.: Arrow Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement? Boy: Firetruck Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u ha

      I Offline
      I Offline
      Ian Shlasko
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      SChristmas wrote:

      Send this Boy to IIM AHEMEDABAD

      Ya know, that joke was going really well, until you forgot to translate the punchline

      Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
      Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

      L 1 Reply Last reply
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      • I Ian Shlasko

        SChristmas wrote:

        Send this Boy to IIM AHEMEDABAD

        Ya know, that joke was going really well, until you forgot to translate the punchline

        Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
        Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        I am guessing some kind of religious school.

        Dr D Evans "The whole idea that carbon dioxide is the main cause of the recent global warming is based on a guess that was proved false by empirical evidence during the 1990s" financialpost

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        • L Lost User

          I am guessing some kind of religious school.

          Dr D Evans "The whole idea that carbon dioxide is the main cause of the recent global warming is based on a guess that was proved false by empirical evidence during the 1990s" financialpost

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          M Offline
          M Bester
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_Institute_of_Management_Ahmedabad

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          • L Lost User

            I am guessing some kind of religious school.

            Dr D Evans "The whole idea that carbon dioxide is the main cause of the recent global warming is based on a guess that was proved false by empirical evidence during the 1990s" financialpost

            I Offline
            I Offline
            Ian Shlasko
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            No, I think it's this: http://www.iimahd.ernet.in/[^] (Thank you, Google) Looks like the equivalent of a university or trade school. So it'd be like "Send the boy to Harvard" or something

            Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
            Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

            L 1 Reply Last reply
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            • I Ian Shlasko

              No, I think it's this: http://www.iimahd.ernet.in/[^] (Thank you, Google) Looks like the equivalent of a university or trade school. So it'd be like "Send the boy to Harvard" or something

              Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
              Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Hmm, bit of a crap punch line given the sexual nature of the final questions.

              Dr D Evans "The whole idea that carbon dioxide is the main cause of the recent global warming is based on a guess that was proved false by empirical evidence during the 1990s" financialpost

              V 1 Reply Last reply
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              • L Lost User

                Hmm, bit of a crap punch line given the sexual nature of the final questions.

                Dr D Evans "The whole idea that carbon dioxide is the main cause of the recent global warming is based on a guess that was proved false by empirical evidence during the 1990s" financialpost

                V Offline
                V Offline
                V 0
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                fat_boy wrote:

                sexual nature of the final questions

                Sexual nature? :rolleyes:

                V.

                R 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • V V 0

                  fat_boy wrote:

                  sexual nature of the final questions

                  Sexual nature? :rolleyes:

                  V.

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rajesh R Subramanian
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  It looks like he didn't quite get the joke. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

                  "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • S Sandesh M Patil

                    Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked, "Boy, what is your problem?" Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!" Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Boy: "9". Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Boy: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the 4th grade." Madam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agreed. Madam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of"? Boy, after a moment "Legs." Madam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" Boy: "Pockets." Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: Coconut Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge. Boy: Bubblegum Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer... Boy: Shake hands Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Boy: Tent Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg. Boy: Wedding Ring Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Boy.: Nose Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Boy.: Arrow Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement? Boy: Firetruck Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u ha

                    O Offline
                    O Offline
                    Oakman
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Keep your day job

                    The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                    L 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • O Oakman

                      Keep your day job

                      The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Are you aware of this thread[^] in the Back Room?

                      The best things in life are not things.

                      O 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • L Lost User

                        Are you aware of this thread[^] in the Back Room?

                        The best things in life are not things.

                        O Offline
                        O Offline
                        Oakman
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        I've been told about it, but once I resigned as moderator of the Back Room, I haven't looked in on the cesspool, and see no need to do so now. I will assure you of one thing: Shah (aka Otto Von Drunkencoder) asked to be admitted to SB1. When he was revealed to be a rather pathetic troll he was warned that he would either straighten out or be thrown out. Unlike the Back Room - where the large majority of his posts take place - SB1 does not put up with trolls. Shah got so pissed off at his treatment that he 1-voted an article I wrote. (When he realized that he could not do silent attacks as he can in here or the lounge, he changed it to a 3.) In short, he is a piss-ant and not worth my time or trouble. I must admit that I am mildly surprised that people who do not like the politics or the attitudes of SB1 feel some great need to ask for admission for the express purpose of making trouble, and then become indignant because they are told to leave. But then, I was surprised that a post honoring America's war dead was attacked so viciously, too. I guess I am naive. ;)

                        The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                        L S S 4 Replies Last reply
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                        • O Oakman

                          I've been told about it, but once I resigned as moderator of the Back Room, I haven't looked in on the cesspool, and see no need to do so now. I will assure you of one thing: Shah (aka Otto Von Drunkencoder) asked to be admitted to SB1. When he was revealed to be a rather pathetic troll he was warned that he would either straighten out or be thrown out. Unlike the Back Room - where the large majority of his posts take place - SB1 does not put up with trolls. Shah got so pissed off at his treatment that he 1-voted an article I wrote. (When he realized that he could not do silent attacks as he can in here or the lounge, he changed it to a 3.) In short, he is a piss-ant and not worth my time or trouble. I must admit that I am mildly surprised that people who do not like the politics or the attitudes of SB1 feel some great need to ask for admission for the express purpose of making trouble, and then become indignant because they are told to leave. But then, I was surprised that a post honoring America's war dead was attacked so viciously, too. I guess I am naive. ;)

                          The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          We learn something new every day; and some days we also meet new trolls. ;)

                          The best things in life are not things.

                          O 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • O Oakman

                            I've been told about it, but once I resigned as moderator of the Back Room, I haven't looked in on the cesspool, and see no need to do so now. I will assure you of one thing: Shah (aka Otto Von Drunkencoder) asked to be admitted to SB1. When he was revealed to be a rather pathetic troll he was warned that he would either straighten out or be thrown out. Unlike the Back Room - where the large majority of his posts take place - SB1 does not put up with trolls. Shah got so pissed off at his treatment that he 1-voted an article I wrote. (When he realized that he could not do silent attacks as he can in here or the lounge, he changed it to a 3.) In short, he is a piss-ant and not worth my time or trouble. I must admit that I am mildly surprised that people who do not like the politics or the attitudes of SB1 feel some great need to ask for admission for the express purpose of making trouble, and then become indignant because they are told to leave. But then, I was surprised that a post honoring America's war dead was attacked so viciously, too. I guess I am naive. ;)

                            The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                            S Offline
                            S Offline
                            Sahir Shah
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            You hurt my feelings comrade Oakman. I am not one of those guys who post things to rile up the stupid people. I am a genuine supporter of your views and admirer of your brainpower. I put you on a par with my spiritual guru Johnson Chong. And that is very high pedestal indeed. Why don't you see that. I am very hurt by your attitude comrade Oakman :((

                            Und wenn du lange in einen abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein.

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                            • S Sahir Shah

                              You hurt my feelings comrade Oakman. I am not one of those guys who post things to rile up the stupid people. I am a genuine supporter of your views and admirer of your brainpower. I put you on a par with my spiritual guru Johnson Chong. And that is very high pedestal indeed. Why don't you see that. I am very hurt by your attitude comrade Oakman :((

                              Und wenn du lange in einen abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein.

                              O Offline
                              O Offline
                              Oakman
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              You are a nebbish with delusions of competency.

                              The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                              S 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L Lost User

                                We learn something new every day; and some days we also meet new trolls. ;)

                                The best things in life are not things.

                                O Offline
                                O Offline
                                Oakman
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Richard MacCutchan wrote:

                                We learn something new every day; and some days we also meet new trolls

                                You may get hit by some of the other trolls but at least I balanced shah's backstab.

                                The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                                L 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • M M Bester

                                  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_Institute_of_Management_Ahmedabad

                                  O Offline
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                                  Oakman
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  M Bester wrote:

                                  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_Institute_of_Management_Ahmedabad

                                  that figures

                                  The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • O Oakman

                                    Richard MacCutchan wrote:

                                    We learn something new every day; and some days we also meet new trolls

                                    You may get hit by some of the other trolls but at least I balanced shah's backstab.

                                    The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Lost User
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    The favour returned, although it has not raised the total by much. Some high roller has taken against you.

                                    The best things in life are not things.

                                    O 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • L Lost User

                                      The favour returned, although it has not raised the total by much. Some high roller has taken against you.

                                      The best things in life are not things.

                                      O Offline
                                      O Offline
                                      Oakman
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Richard MacCutchan wrote:

                                      Some high roller has taken against you

                                      Children will be children. All we can do is set a good example and hope they grow up. ;)

                                      The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                                      G 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • O Oakman

                                        Richard MacCutchan wrote:

                                        Some high roller has taken against you

                                        Children will be children. All we can do is set a good example and hope they grow up. ;)

                                        The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                                        G Offline
                                        G Offline
                                        gavindon
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Oakman wrote:

                                        d hope they grow up

                                        if they haven't by now anyway, its not looking good for the forecast.

                                        Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • O Oakman

                                          I've been told about it, but once I resigned as moderator of the Back Room, I haven't looked in on the cesspool, and see no need to do so now. I will assure you of one thing: Shah (aka Otto Von Drunkencoder) asked to be admitted to SB1. When he was revealed to be a rather pathetic troll he was warned that he would either straighten out or be thrown out. Unlike the Back Room - where the large majority of his posts take place - SB1 does not put up with trolls. Shah got so pissed off at his treatment that he 1-voted an article I wrote. (When he realized that he could not do silent attacks as he can in here or the lounge, he changed it to a 3.) In short, he is a piss-ant and not worth my time or trouble. I must admit that I am mildly surprised that people who do not like the politics or the attitudes of SB1 feel some great need to ask for admission for the express purpose of making trouble, and then become indignant because they are told to leave. But then, I was surprised that a post honoring America's war dead was attacked so viciously, too. I guess I am naive. ;)

                                          The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Lost User
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Oakman wrote:

                                          I was surprised that a post honoring America's war dead

                                          What, 'Happy Memorial Day'? I must get some 'Merry Remembrance Sunday' cards printed, cheer up the bereaved. I was somewhat surprised that "The Relief of the Light Brigade" and "A Modern Tommy Atkins" merited a 1 vote and the sententious pronouncement Those who "abjure" violence can only do so because others are committing violence on their behalf. Which is true, but a bit of the old 'no secateurs', given that the poems remind us of the poor treatment of soldiers by civilians and government alike. (Here is the link to 'A Modern Tommy Atkins'[^] in full on that well known pacifist site "The British Airborne Forces Club".)

                                          ict558 is a Coward and a Fool. Derelict Dave & Hokum (So it must be so, alas.)

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