Shoot me, pleasssssse !!
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Do not upset auditors. They can do very unpleasant things to companies. So if you are going to hang yourself, please do it quietly, and don't disturb them. And preferably, not on works time.
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
OriginalGriff wrote:
So if you are going to hang yourself, please do it quietly
You forgot to add that the rope and method(s) used should meet the requisite standards for such an activity.
Pete
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And, for an accountant to describe it as boring is like a train spotter calling a bus spotter sad.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
Sadly, 'tis true. I love doing cost analysis or budget forecasts, I can use my brain for that but to do auditing is just donkey work that anyone with a piece of paper and half a brain can manage.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
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OriginalGriff wrote:
So if you are going to hang yourself, please do it quietly
You forgot to add that the rope and method(s) used should meet the requisite standards for such an activity.
Pete
<Officious Little Jobsworth Voice> "You may not use that rope as a noose, it is untested at that strain and may cause injury when attempting suicide." </Officious Little Jobsworth Voice>
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
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OriginalGriff wrote:
So if you are going to hang yourself, please do it quietly
You forgot to add that the rope and method(s) used should meet the requisite standards for such an activity.
Pete
Auditors don't care about health or safety, as long as you don't damage a company asset (i.e. the rope) during the activity. Liabilities like developers are neither here nor there.
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
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Sadly, 'tis true. I love doing cost analysis or budget forecasts, I can use my brain for that but to do auditing is just donkey work that anyone with a piece of paper and half a brain can manage.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
My dad became an internal auditor with Customs & Excise towards the end of his career. Auditing systems and processes and stuff like that, not accounts. However it instantly turned him into one of the most boring men in the world, something he has been unable to shake off since he retired.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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Auditors don't care about health or safety, as long as you don't damage a company asset (i.e. the rope) during the activity. Liabilities like developers are neither here nor there.
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
It would be possible to claim a tax relief on a capital investment programme, ie buying a new rope, although recycling rules would have to be enforced on the disposal of the old rope in accordance to EU directives on Rope Untwiddling and Strand Tapering.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
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Sadly, 'tis true. I love doing cost analysis or budget forecasts, I can use my brain for that but to do auditing is just donkey work that anyone with a piece of paper and half a brain can manage.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Dalek Dave wrote:
auditing is just donkey work that anyone with a piece of paper and half a brain can manage.
Ah, I see you've met the team who audit my accounts.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
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Have you never considered a career in the exciting world of auditing? It is the ideal job for young thrusting people who wish to climb quickly up the accountancy stepladder. Apply today and start your career of wandering around other peoples offices and looking at small pieces of paper! I was an auditor for three years (obligatory training for accountants) and found it to be the most boring aspect of my career so far. Don't hang yourself, you will only be assessed as a depreciation of capital asset.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Dalek Dave wrote:
the ideal job for young thrusting people
Isn't it amazing how one letter makes it sounds like a job in the porn industry.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
It would be possible to claim a tax relief on a capital investment programme, ie buying a new rope, although recycling rules would have to be enforced on the disposal of the old rope in accordance to EU directives on Rope Untwiddling and Strand Tapering.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Surely you would have to prove that the old rope had been fully depreciated first?
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
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My dad became an internal auditor with Customs & Excise towards the end of his career. Auditing systems and processes and stuff like that, not accounts. However it instantly turned him into one of the most boring men in the world, something he has been unable to shake off since he retired.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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Surely you would have to prove that the old rope had been fully depreciated first?
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
Of course, you could show them the full depreciation figures, and then the cash received. This is noted in the accounts as "Money for old rope".
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
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I have four auditors moved into me office for the week. They are so stereo-typical, their conversions are sooooo f**king boring and monotone. I just wanna hang myself. X|
Steve Jowett ------------------------- Real Programmers don't need comments -- the code is obvious.
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I have four auditors moved into me office for the week. They are so stereo-typical, their conversions are sooooo f**king boring and monotone. I just wanna hang myself. X|
Steve Jowett ------------------------- Real Programmers don't need comments -- the code is obvious.
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I have four auditors moved into me office for the week. They are so stereo-typical, their conversions are sooooo f**king boring and monotone. I just wanna hang myself. X|
Steve Jowett ------------------------- Real Programmers don't need comments -- the code is obvious.
Meanwhile, on www.auditingbob.com:
J Random Auditor wrote:
I am one of four auditors and we have moved into an office full of programmer/geeks for the week. They are so stereo-typical, their conversions are sooooo f**king boring and monotone. I just wanna hang myself X|
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^] -
Meanwhile, on www.auditingbob.com:
J Random Auditor wrote:
I am one of four auditors and we have moved into an office full of programmer/geeks for the week. They are so stereo-typical, their conversions are sooooo f**king boring and monotone. I just wanna hang myself X|
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]Earns a 5! See Here[^] for an exciting magazine for thrusting young executives in the exciting world of financial management.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
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Of course, you could show them the full depreciation figures, and then the cash received. This is noted in the accounts as "Money for old rope".
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
LOL! 5!
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
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Earns a 5! See Here[^] for an exciting magazine for thrusting young executives in the exciting world of financial management.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Don't. I lived with a girl whilst she was studying for her chartered accountancy qualifications. I had to help her with the maths part especially, the materials were really poorly written. Took me a good 5/10 mins to work out and explain their amortisation formula because they'd used groups of letters to represent one value, rather than the more common maths notation so that:
y = ab + c
could mean
y = a * b + cor ab could stand for the "abnoramlly writen value" so the above just the means"abnoramlly writen value" + cI'd have thought for such a numerate profession they would have got this stuff right.Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^] -
Meanwhile, on www.auditingbob.com:
J Random Auditor wrote:
I am one of four auditors and we have moved into an office full of programmer/geeks for the week. They are so stereo-typical, their conversions are sooooo f**king boring and monotone. I just wanna hang myself X|
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]Obviously, not my office ;P
Steve Jowett ------------------------- Real Programmers don't need comments -- the code is obvious.
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Which ever is the quickest. How long do think I'll get your shooting them instead? Actually, thinking about it I have facilities in the plant to dispose of bodies without leaving any DNA trace :cool: Hummm
Steve Jowett ------------------------- Real Programmers don't need comments -- the code is obvious.
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I have four auditors moved into me office for the week. They are so stereo-typical, their conversions are sooooo f**king boring and monotone. I just wanna hang myself. X|
Steve Jowett ------------------------- Real Programmers don't need comments -- the code is obvious.
Why don't you try and shoot at them? Might make them move office or make your boss make you move office. Either way, you get rid of them.
Too much of heaven can bring you underground Heaven can always turn around Too much of heaven, our life is all hell bound Heaven, the kill that makes no sound
