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Interview Question

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  • L Lost User

    Tell them to fuck off, then get me in as the Interviewee.

    Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

    L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    I'd love to interview you with our HR department. Preferably during Wimbledon fortnight. HR: Where do you see yourself in three years? MM: How the Faaark would I know!? I'm not an elephanting psychic! HR: Right, well thanks. erm... What are your strengths and weaknesses? MM: Well, I can drink youse bastards under the table, any day of the faaarkin' week. Weaknesses? You callin' me a girly, love? HR: Ha ha.. ha. Erm. Well. I, erm. Can you tell me about the time you dealt with conflict? MM: There was this pooftah HR wanker asking stupid questions - punched 'im in the mouth... Hey! don't worry, love, I would't punch a girl... You *are* a girl, aren't you? with norgs like that I figured you must be - but with the 'tash it could go either way. HR:

    PooperPig - Coming Soon

    J 1 Reply Last reply
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    • N Nagy Vilmos

      _Maxxx_ wrote:

      ritualistic disemboweling of a sheep on the boardroom table!

      I would have thought that that would be classed as *Normal for New Zealand*.

      veni bibi saltavi

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      New bloody Zealand? We're not employing bloody Kiwis, mate!

      PooperPig - Coming Soon

      N G 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • G GStrad

        So many fails in one post (and they're not yours!) Interview is about exploring someones knowledge and whether they fit in the company / team - you can't script that. How the hell do HR think you are going to get a good fit for the team if the interviewee is not allowed to talk to them?

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        GStrad wrote:

        How the hell do HR think

        I see your mistake

        PooperPig - Coming Soon

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • L Lost User

          My usual interview technique is to have a chat with the interviewee, very informal. Explain the job to them, talk about what they've done and generally have what I believe is known as "a discussion" I am interviewing this week, and HR are telling me now that: They need to be in the interview. I have to ask a set of written-down questions "Where do you see yourself in 3 years" sort of stuff. I need to give them a 'positive view of the company' including an overview of the structure (who owns what etc. rather than who's who's boss) The person I am interviewing will report to me. It was suggested that, if I couldn't make it at the time the interview was booked, that was fine they'd interview without me. Has the world turned mad! We are looking for a Test Analyst because our current single Test Analyst is trying to test thr output from about 16 developers - which is an impossible task, obviously. So it was then suggested we could get a college leaver & the current Test Analyst could train them! Oh, yes, in her copious spare time! Yes; the world is indeed turned mad. The single most important factor for anyone working in my team is that they fit into the team. Sure they also need the tech skills but fitting in is most important. In a prev. company I used to do a 2nd 1/2 of the interview with the team - usually over coffee - where the prospective candidate (only the one's I thought would be a good fit) would chat to the team - who would tell them all about the job, the company, good bits and bad bits. It was very successful - everyone had buy in on new recruits, the new recruits had a better idea of what they were getting into - and it proved very successful. I suggested doing that in this company, and you'd have thought I'd suggested performing ritualistic disemboweling of a sheep on the boardroom table! "TALK!? to the TEAM?!" Not sure how much more I can take!

          PooperPig - Coming Soon

          A Offline
          A Offline
          Amarnath S
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          HR: Where do you see yourself in three years? Me: In your seat. VP/Senior GM: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: <>

          L C 2 Replies Last reply
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          • L Lost User

            New bloody Zealand? We're not employing bloody Kiwis, mate!

            PooperPig - Coming Soon

            N Offline
            N Offline
            Nagy Vilmos
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            It's standard practice at GriffInc :laugh:

            veni bibi saltavi

            L 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • N Nagy Vilmos

              It's standard practice at GriffInc :laugh:

              veni bibi saltavi

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              I reckon the Griffter would be a good boss - just never, ever take in Lamb sandwiches - or fee him after midnight.

              PooperPig - Coming Soon

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • A Amarnath S

                HR: Where do you see yourself in three years? Me: In your seat. VP/Senior GM: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: <>

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                You usually get down-voted by HR for answering that - it's a trite answer to a trite question. I usually answer something like 'doing this job'. as most companies don't *really* want you to be ambitious - they want someone to do this role for as long as possible.

                PooperPig - Coming Soon

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • L Lost User

                  My usual interview technique is to have a chat with the interviewee, very informal. Explain the job to them, talk about what they've done and generally have what I believe is known as "a discussion" I am interviewing this week, and HR are telling me now that: They need to be in the interview. I have to ask a set of written-down questions "Where do you see yourself in 3 years" sort of stuff. I need to give them a 'positive view of the company' including an overview of the structure (who owns what etc. rather than who's who's boss) The person I am interviewing will report to me. It was suggested that, if I couldn't make it at the time the interview was booked, that was fine they'd interview without me. Has the world turned mad! We are looking for a Test Analyst because our current single Test Analyst is trying to test thr output from about 16 developers - which is an impossible task, obviously. So it was then suggested we could get a college leaver & the current Test Analyst could train them! Oh, yes, in her copious spare time! Yes; the world is indeed turned mad. The single most important factor for anyone working in my team is that they fit into the team. Sure they also need the tech skills but fitting in is most important. In a prev. company I used to do a 2nd 1/2 of the interview with the team - usually over coffee - where the prospective candidate (only the one's I thought would be a good fit) would chat to the team - who would tell them all about the job, the company, good bits and bad bits. It was very successful - everyone had buy in on new recruits, the new recruits had a better idea of what they were getting into - and it proved very successful. I suggested doing that in this company, and you'd have thought I'd suggested performing ritualistic disemboweling of a sheep on the boardroom table! "TALK!? to the TEAM?!" Not sure how much more I can take!

                  PooperPig - Coming Soon

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rage
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  I am with MM on this one, I would tell them to fuck off.

                  Do not escape reality : improve reality !

                  L 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • A Amarnath S

                    HR: Where do you see yourself in three years? Me: In your seat. VP/Senior GM: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: <>

                    C Offline
                    C Offline
                    chriselst
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    Quote:

                    Employer: So, Peter, where do you see yourself in five years? Peter [thinking]: Don't say, "Doing your wife." Don't say, "Doing your wife." Don't say, "Doing your wife." Peter: Doing your...[sees the employer's family picture] son?

                    Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • R Rage

                      I am with MM on this one, I would tell them to fuck off.

                      Do not escape reality : improve reality !

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      Then you are both self-evidently independently wealthy.

                      PooperPig - Coming Soon

                      L 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • L Lost User

                        I'd love to interview you with our HR department. Preferably during Wimbledon fortnight. HR: Where do you see yourself in three years? MM: How the Faaark would I know!? I'm not an elephanting psychic! HR: Right, well thanks. erm... What are your strengths and weaknesses? MM: Well, I can drink youse bastards under the table, any day of the faaarkin' week. Weaknesses? You callin' me a girly, love? HR: Ha ha.. ha. Erm. Well. I, erm. Can you tell me about the time you dealt with conflict? MM: There was this pooftah HR wanker asking stupid questions - punched 'im in the mouth... Hey! don't worry, love, I would't punch a girl... You *are* a girl, aren't you? with norgs like that I figured you must be - but with the 'tash it could go either way. HR:

                        PooperPig - Coming Soon

                        J Offline
                        J Offline
                        Johnny J
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        Hilarious! Just have one question, though: What the hell is

                        _Maxxx_ wrote:

                        'tash

                        ???

                        Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                        Anonymous
                        -----
                        The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                        Winston Churchill, 1944
                        -----
                        I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                        Me, all the time

                        L C M 3 Replies Last reply
                        0
                        • J Johnny J

                          Hilarious! Just have one question, though: What the hell is

                          _Maxxx_ wrote:

                          'tash

                          ???

                          Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                          Anonymous
                          -----
                          The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                          Winston Churchill, 1944
                          -----
                          I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                          Me, all the time

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          Mustache

                          PooperPig - Coming Soon

                          J 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • L Lost User

                            My usual interview technique is to have a chat with the interviewee, very informal. Explain the job to them, talk about what they've done and generally have what I believe is known as "a discussion" I am interviewing this week, and HR are telling me now that: They need to be in the interview. I have to ask a set of written-down questions "Where do you see yourself in 3 years" sort of stuff. I need to give them a 'positive view of the company' including an overview of the structure (who owns what etc. rather than who's who's boss) The person I am interviewing will report to me. It was suggested that, if I couldn't make it at the time the interview was booked, that was fine they'd interview without me. Has the world turned mad! We are looking for a Test Analyst because our current single Test Analyst is trying to test thr output from about 16 developers - which is an impossible task, obviously. So it was then suggested we could get a college leaver & the current Test Analyst could train them! Oh, yes, in her copious spare time! Yes; the world is indeed turned mad. The single most important factor for anyone working in my team is that they fit into the team. Sure they also need the tech skills but fitting in is most important. In a prev. company I used to do a 2nd 1/2 of the interview with the team - usually over coffee - where the prospective candidate (only the one's I thought would be a good fit) would chat to the team - who would tell them all about the job, the company, good bits and bad bits. It was very successful - everyone had buy in on new recruits, the new recruits had a better idea of what they were getting into - and it proved very successful. I suggested doing that in this company, and you'd have thought I'd suggested performing ritualistic disemboweling of a sheep on the boardroom table! "TALK!? to the TEAM?!" Not sure how much more I can take!

                            PooperPig - Coming Soon

                            W Offline
                            W Offline
                            W Balboos GHB
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            Fool! Know you not that if things were done correctly than HR would be out being interviewed, themselves? As employees come and go they make work for HR to justify themselves at current (or even increased) staffing levels. As for you? Get with the program!

                            "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                            "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert

                            "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • J Johnny J

                              Hilarious! Just have one question, though: What the hell is

                              _Maxxx_ wrote:

                              'tash

                              ???

                              Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                              Anonymous
                              -----
                              The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                              Winston Churchill, 1944
                              -----
                              I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                              Me, all the time

                              C Offline
                              C Offline
                              chriselst
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              Maxxx wrote:

                              'tash

                              I think you'd find one on a mouse

                              Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L Lost User

                                Mustache

                                PooperPig - Coming Soon

                                J Offline
                                J Offline
                                Johnny J
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                :thumbsup:

                                Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                                Anonymous
                                -----
                                The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                                Winston Churchill, 1944
                                -----
                                I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                                Me, all the time

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • J Johnny J

                                  Hilarious! Just have one question, though: What the hell is

                                  _Maxxx_ wrote:

                                  'tash

                                  ???

                                  Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                                  Anonymous
                                  -----
                                  The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                                  Winston Churchill, 1944
                                  -----
                                  I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                                  Me, all the time

                                  M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  Marco Bertschi
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #24

                                  Mustache? Only a guess, though...

                                  "A property doesn't have to be a Property to be a property." - PIEBALDConsult

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • L Lost User

                                    My usual interview technique is to have a chat with the interviewee, very informal. Explain the job to them, talk about what they've done and generally have what I believe is known as "a discussion" I am interviewing this week, and HR are telling me now that: They need to be in the interview. I have to ask a set of written-down questions "Where do you see yourself in 3 years" sort of stuff. I need to give them a 'positive view of the company' including an overview of the structure (who owns what etc. rather than who's who's boss) The person I am interviewing will report to me. It was suggested that, if I couldn't make it at the time the interview was booked, that was fine they'd interview without me. Has the world turned mad! We are looking for a Test Analyst because our current single Test Analyst is trying to test thr output from about 16 developers - which is an impossible task, obviously. So it was then suggested we could get a college leaver & the current Test Analyst could train them! Oh, yes, in her copious spare time! Yes; the world is indeed turned mad. The single most important factor for anyone working in my team is that they fit into the team. Sure they also need the tech skills but fitting in is most important. In a prev. company I used to do a 2nd 1/2 of the interview with the team - usually over coffee - where the prospective candidate (only the one's I thought would be a good fit) would chat to the team - who would tell them all about the job, the company, good bits and bad bits. It was very successful - everyone had buy in on new recruits, the new recruits had a better idea of what they were getting into - and it proved very successful. I suggested doing that in this company, and you'd have thought I'd suggested performing ritualistic disemboweling of a sheep on the boardroom table! "TALK!? to the TEAM?!" Not sure how much more I can take!

                                    PooperPig - Coming Soon

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    megaadam
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #25

                                    Meet the team?? Holy Elephant! R&D is there for HR. But YOU seem to think it is the other way around! On a more serious note: it may be possible that the test responsibility could be shared a bit with automatic regression testing and coders required to write and run proper unit/function tests before push/submit/checkin to master. Even so the 1/16 proportion is of course off!

                                    Life is too shor

                                    L 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • L Lost User

                                      New bloody Zealand? We're not employing bloody Kiwis, mate!

                                      PooperPig - Coming Soon

                                      G Offline
                                      G Offline
                                      Garth J Lancaster
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #26

                                      bvgger ! I was going to send to my cv, too....

                                      L 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • M megaadam

                                        Meet the team?? Holy Elephant! R&D is there for HR. But YOU seem to think it is the other way around! On a more serious note: it may be possible that the test responsibility could be shared a bit with automatic regression testing and coders required to write and run proper unit/function tests before push/submit/checkin to master. Even so the 1/16 proportion is of course off!

                                        Life is too shor

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Lost User
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #27

                                        Retro fitting unit tests into existing (poor) code is just too hard, costly and tends to result in poor test coverage vs cost. Automatic regression testing -sure. And who's going to set the tests up? Oh! the tester; but wait - the tester is too busy doing testing!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        PooperPig - Coming Soon

                                        C 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • L Lost User

                                          Then you are both self-evidently independently wealthy.

                                          PooperPig - Coming Soon

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Lost User
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #28

                                          _Maxxx_ wrote:

                                          Then you are both self-evidently independently wealthy.

                                          No, just kinda working for myself and sub-contracting with a bunch of knobs when not having enough of my own work. I don't interview well and can last a couple of years when I have too, before I tell some Mike Hunt what I think of them and or the company.

                                          Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

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