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Couple.Divorce()

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  • P Paul Watson

    Simple enough question: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Nish's chauvenistic* post below and his reply that India values of repressing women are the reason for the low divorce rate in India. I thought I would ask for your opinion before replying. :) * however unintended

    Paul Watson
    Bluegrass
    Cape Town, South Africa

    Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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    Nish Nishant
    wrote on last edited by
    #56

    By the way, shouldn't that be :- Couple->Divorce(); ;-) Nish


    Author of the romantic comedy Summer Love and Some more Cricket [New Win] Review by Shog9 Click here for review[NW]

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    • K Kevnar

      Simply put, a divorce is the evetual result of a marriage that never should have happened in the first place. Figure out why people marry the wrong person to begin with and you'll have the tools to solve the divorce problem.

      "How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?" - Daniel Haley, The Onion

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      Paul Watson
      wrote on last edited by
      #57

      Kevnar wrote: Figure out why people marry the wrong person to begin with and you'll have the tools to solve the divorce problem. Now who is being naive? :-D People will always make mistakes, even with something as monumental as marriage. Knowing all the answers, checks, starting variables etc. etc. etc. won't prevent failed marriages. Not taking what you said to extremes though (i.e. 0% divorce) then you are right.

      Paul Watson
      Bluegrass
      Cape Town, South Africa

      Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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      • P Paul Watson

        Nishant S wrote: Thanks for this clarification No problem Nish. I have always thought you were a closet chauvenist anyway. ;P

        Paul Watson
        Bluegrass
        Cape Town, South Africa

        Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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        Nish Nishant
        wrote on last edited by
        #58

        Paul Watson wrote: No problem Nish. I have always thought you were a closet chauvenist anyway. LOL Uhm well however much we try, we'll never ever fully understand the thoughts and acts of an alien culture. Thats basically what happened here. It might shock you to know that back in Trivandrum I was considered a radical guy because I said I preferred my mom to be a working woman. Most of the guys in my school had house wife moms and couldnt imagine anything else. Nish


        Author of the romantic comedy Summer Love and Some more Cricket [New Win] Review by Shog9 Click here for review[NW]

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        • C Chris Losinger

          loss of stigma associated with divorce. -c


          Image tools: ThumbNailer, Bobber, TIFFAssembler

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          John Fisher
          wrote on last edited by
          #59

          Associated with that (in most cases) is the loss of stigma when someone fails to live up to his or her promises, commitments, contracts, etc. For some reason the promise to love each other "until death do us part" isn't taken very seriously any more. John :D

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          • N Nish Nishant

            By the way, shouldn't that be :- Couple->Divorce(); ;-) Nish


            Author of the romantic comedy Summer Love and Some more Cricket [New Win] Review by Shog9 Click here for review[NW]

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            Paul Watson
            wrote on last edited by
            #60

            I thought the general opinion is that C++ is perfect and therefore would never need a Divorce method. Therefore my code was VB... ;) BTW in reply to your other post I just want to say I grew up around a lot of Indians. While that does not make me Indian nor does it make me an expert I can sympathise quite strongly with what you are saying from having seen Indian friends going through and thinking the same things. Many of their parents were India born, moved to SA and kept their strict traditions (arranged marriages, caste system etc.) So in short I understand better why the way you are, I just don't agree with it. Am sure there are plenty of western ways you are appalled by, that you disagree with but which you understand why they are they way they are.

            Paul Watson
            Bluegrass
            Cape Town, South Africa

            Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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            • P Paul Watson

              Simple enough question: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Nish's chauvenistic* post below and his reply that India values of repressing women are the reason for the low divorce rate in India. I thought I would ask for your opinion before replying. :) * however unintended

              Paul Watson
              Bluegrass
              Cape Town, South Africa

              Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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              Chris Austin
              wrote on last edited by
              #61

              To me it is a lack of understanding the commitment, laziness, and a lack of clear expectations up front. Also, I think a lot of people today just don't want to argue with their spouse, which is very necessary in my opinion. Far too many people expect marriage to be easy and without challenge. They just think it will just work without daily effort to make one another happy or feel needed. I also think people tend to mary people who will not challenge them mentally on a constant basis. This was very important for me, I was never seriously attracted to a woman who wasn't smarter than me. The word abbreviation is awfully long for what it means.

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              • P Paul Watson

                I thought the general opinion is that C++ is perfect and therefore would never need a Divorce method. Therefore my code was VB... ;) BTW in reply to your other post I just want to say I grew up around a lot of Indians. While that does not make me Indian nor does it make me an expert I can sympathise quite strongly with what you are saying from having seen Indian friends going through and thinking the same things. Many of their parents were India born, moved to SA and kept their strict traditions (arranged marriages, caste system etc.) So in short I understand better why the way you are, I just don't agree with it. Am sure there are plenty of western ways you are appalled by, that you disagree with but which you understand why they are they way they are.

                Paul Watson
                Bluegrass
                Cape Town, South Africa

                Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                Nish Nishant
                wrote on last edited by
                #62

                Paul Watson wrote: So in short I understand better why the way you are, I know. I was tellin this to a friend of mine earlier, about how your empathy powers are amazing! By the way the Indians you see aboroad will not be anything like the Indians who live in India. The moment they step into foreign soil their mind sets begin changing slowly. So you better realize that till you come and live here for a few months you wont really grasp the thinking here. Paul Watson wrote: Am sure there are plenty of western ways you are appalled by, that you disagree with but which you understand why they are they way they are. Yup! Lots and lots :-) Nish


                Author of the romantic comedy Summer Love and Some more Cricket [New Win] Review by Shog9 Click here for review[NW]

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                • P peterchen

                  Paul Watson wrote: Girls have had whacked out ideas about marriage long before the wedding industry blossomed. Yeah, like "close your eyes and think of the country" :cool: (conveyed advice of the english in 18th or 19th century about the wedding night)


                  If you go to war, you will destroy a great country a stoned greek chick to the richest man of the world
                  sighist | Agile Programming | doxygen

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                  Paul Watson
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #63

                  peterchen wrote: Yeah, like "close your eyes and think of the country" I shouldn't laugh but :laugh: How terrible. Sex, making love is just the most glorious thing, for all involved, not just the male. If I were female that alone would piss me off enough to want to get my due from the men.

                  Paul Watson
                  Bluegrass
                  Cape Town, South Africa

                  Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                  • P Paul Watson

                    BTW I think Jeremy made a typo and meant to say "attracted to a guy that they can't control." i.e. What you just said. Correct me if I am wrong Jeremy.

                    Paul Watson
                    Bluegrass
                    Cape Town, South Africa

                    Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                    Jeremy Falcon
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #64

                    Nope, I meant can. :) And, there is psychology behind it too. A woman's genetic coding stipulates that she is a caretaker. I'm sure you know by now that women don't like to make all the decisions, but they don't want to be controlled at the same time. Women are much better suited for things like endless patience, and care taking, so they can assume a motherly type role. Remember, the goal of any species (even ours) is to reproduce. Also, women love to "improve" things regardless of their current state. They love the idea of taking a "bad" guy and making husband material out of him. This is also another reason they love to decorate - they are "improving" their home. They try to make something out of nothing, and love to “help”. So, they'll be happy to make a husband out of someone they can help if they have the potential (make money, etc.) to be a good husband and provider, after all they put a lot of effort into this person. They are trying to mold the person (aka control), but they don’t think they are controlling. That’s the key point to remember! They don’t think they are! But, when you are in this position, she has basically assumed a motherly-type role with you. If you cannot be controlled, she’ll wish she could, fantasize about it, etc. and it goes from there. And, I do mean sexually too. Women don’t really believe physical and emotional stimulations are exclusive. To them, you can’t have one without the other – even for a one-night stand. They all say sex is love when it comes to their partner. There are exceptions to everything, but this tends to hold true in damn near every case. And I have questioned many different chicks (Yvette, Jeru – yeah that’s her name, Brandy, Ashley, Nancy, etc to name a few) about this stuff too to help confirm my ideas. So, if you want to make her wet when she thinks of you, don’t let her subconsciously think she’s your mother. Be the man, stay in control, but don’t be controlling. Don’t let her change you, and she’ll keep you on the fantasy list. Jeremy Falcon

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                    • P Paul Watson

                      Simple enough question: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Nish's chauvenistic* post below and his reply that India values of repressing women are the reason for the low divorce rate in India. I thought I would ask for your opinion before replying. :) * however unintended

                      Paul Watson
                      Bluegrass
                      Cape Town, South Africa

                      Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                      David Wulff
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #65

                      Well speaking from my endless knowledge on such matters I'd attribute seventy to eighty percent to weak characters. People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. :(


                      David Wulff

                      "Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!" - Strong Bad [^]

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                      • P Paul Watson

                        Jonny Newman wrote: Reminds me of this[^] My god! That is exactly what so many non-Americans are fighting against. Scary stuff. I hope there is an American on CP who agrees with that policy, just so we can pick his brains and see just why and how the hell he thinks.

                        Paul Watson
                        Bluegrass
                        Cape Town, South Africa

                        Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                        Chris Maunder
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #66

                        Hmm - I can't see anything specific to Australia. HAve we been forgotten in the push towards global supremacy? :( cheers, Chris Maunder

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                        • P Paul Watson

                          I just want to make myself heard: I disagree totally with what you have said. Mainly because I am a romantic, but also because I believe it won't help. Things change afterall.

                          Paul Watson
                          Bluegrass
                          Cape Town, South Africa

                          Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                          Kevnar
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #67

                          Paul Watson wrote: because I believe it won't help I suppose you're right. Romatics tend to throw common sense out the window. They always have. They go for the rush and deal with the consequences later. Kind of like addicts I suppose.

                          "How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?" - Daniel Haley, The Onion

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                          • K Kevnar

                            Jeremy Falcon wrote: P.S. Here's some info that's invaluable for guys (if they choose to listen). Any woman will never-ever be deep-down, hard-rooted attracted to a guy that they can control. PPS. On the other hand, women will rarely stay involved with a guy they can't control. Thus discontentment is inevitable.

                            "How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?" - Daniel Haley, The Onion

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                            Jeremy Falcon
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #68

                            Kevnar wrote: PPS. On the other hand, women will rarely stay involved with a guy they can't control. Thus discontentment is inevitable. Well, my experiences lead me to believe otherwise. If a chick leaves a guy, then the guy was settled for in the first place. Check out my reply to Paul about my take on the "control" issue. Jeremy Falcon

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                            • P Paul Watson

                              Kevnar wrote: Figure out why people marry the wrong person to begin with and you'll have the tools to solve the divorce problem. Now who is being naive? :-D People will always make mistakes, even with something as monumental as marriage. Knowing all the answers, checks, starting variables etc. etc. etc. won't prevent failed marriages. Not taking what you said to extremes though (i.e. 0% divorce) then you are right.

                              Paul Watson
                              Bluegrass
                              Cape Town, South Africa

                              Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                              Kevnar
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #69

                              Well I did say you would have the tools to solve the problem. I didn't say you would solve the problem. Human nature is as unpredictable as the weather.

                              "How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?" - Daniel Haley, The Onion

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                              • C Chris Austin

                                To me it is a lack of understanding the commitment, laziness, and a lack of clear expectations up front. Also, I think a lot of people today just don't want to argue with their spouse, which is very necessary in my opinion. Far too many people expect marriage to be easy and without challenge. They just think it will just work without daily effort to make one another happy or feel needed. I also think people tend to mary people who will not challenge them mentally on a constant basis. This was very important for me, I was never seriously attracted to a woman who wasn't smarter than me. The word abbreviation is awfully long for what it means.

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                                Paul Watson
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #70

                                Chris Austin wrote: This was very important for me, I was never seriously attracted to a woman who wasn't smarter than me. It does take a big man though to do that IMO. It is not an automatic and easy thing to do. It is easy to settle.

                                Paul Watson
                                Bluegrass
                                Cape Town, South Africa

                                Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                                • P Paul Watson

                                  BTW I think Jeremy made a typo and meant to say "attracted to a guy that they can't control." i.e. What you just said. Correct me if I am wrong Jeremy.

                                  Paul Watson
                                  Bluegrass
                                  Cape Town, South Africa

                                  Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                                  Kevnar
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #71

                                  Well based on the context of his message I figure he was saying women aren't attracted to men they can control. They prefer a tough virile alpha-male. Someone to protect them and provide for them. I agree with him, inspite of feminist rhetoric.

                                  "How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?" - Daniel Haley, The Onion

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                                  • J Jeremy Falcon

                                    Nope, I meant can. :) And, there is psychology behind it too. A woman's genetic coding stipulates that she is a caretaker. I'm sure you know by now that women don't like to make all the decisions, but they don't want to be controlled at the same time. Women are much better suited for things like endless patience, and care taking, so they can assume a motherly type role. Remember, the goal of any species (even ours) is to reproduce. Also, women love to "improve" things regardless of their current state. They love the idea of taking a "bad" guy and making husband material out of him. This is also another reason they love to decorate - they are "improving" their home. They try to make something out of nothing, and love to “help”. So, they'll be happy to make a husband out of someone they can help if they have the potential (make money, etc.) to be a good husband and provider, after all they put a lot of effort into this person. They are trying to mold the person (aka control), but they don’t think they are controlling. That’s the key point to remember! They don’t think they are! But, when you are in this position, she has basically assumed a motherly-type role with you. If you cannot be controlled, she’ll wish she could, fantasize about it, etc. and it goes from there. And, I do mean sexually too. Women don’t really believe physical and emotional stimulations are exclusive. To them, you can’t have one without the other – even for a one-night stand. They all say sex is love when it comes to their partner. There are exceptions to everything, but this tends to hold true in damn near every case. And I have questioned many different chicks (Yvette, Jeru – yeah that’s her name, Brandy, Ashley, Nancy, etc to name a few) about this stuff too to help confirm my ideas. So, if you want to make her wet when she thinks of you, don’t let her subconsciously think she’s your mother. Be the man, stay in control, but don’t be controlling. Don’t let her change you, and she’ll keep you on the fantasy list. Jeremy Falcon

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                                    Kevnar
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #72

                                    Jeremy Falcon wrote: So, if you want to make her wet when she thinks of you Perhaps a little too crude, but it gets the point across. :laugh:

                                    "How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?" - Daniel Haley, The Onion

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                                    • M Megan Forbes

                                      I'm no expert (having never been divorced), but I think part of it is the instant gratification lifestyle we lead these days. That, and the fact that expecting such a lifestyle is owed to us. One day you decide you would be happy married - so you get married, as quickly as possible. A few years later you decide you would be happier if you were not married - easy solution, get a divorce as quickly as possible. The world owes you happines, why should you work for it. Very sad state of mind we seem to have found for ourselves. Especially as experience teaches any sane person that the things they've had to work hardest for are the things they enjoy and appreciate the most. Hmmm... I'm not typing very coherently today am I? :rolleyes:


                                      I may try to delete my CP cookies. But its almost like tossing the keys of the appartment into the river. - Andreas Saurwein

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                                      Jeremy Falcon
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #73

                                      Megan Forbes wrote: Especially as experience teaches any sane person that the things they've had to work hardest for are the things they enjoy and appreciate the most. You so reinforced one of the points my posts made - thanks! :) P.S. I'm not being sarcastic either. Jeremy Falcon

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                                      • N Nitron

                                        The grounds for athiesm are shaky at best. I don't mean to turn this in a religious direction, but I will attempt to make one small point. Before evaluating any given fact about religion, people bring to the table a pair of rose-colored glasses representing their world-view. This world-view is a culimination of all their experiences and beliefs, as well as the root of their logic. Everyone needs a starting point for their arguments: a faith-based assumption so to speak. From the secular athiest point of view, all there exists in the universe is molecules in motion. Love is nothing more than random firings of neurons that can be duplicated by consuming lots of cholocate. It is their belief that the universe came into being merely by chance, and there is no intelligent creator (God). However, that assumption is not scientifically provable, and as thus is merely an assumption of faith. There is no scientific method to prove what is beyond the universe or supernatural. Now from a bible-believing point of view, the faith assumption is that the bible is the inerrant word of god. A revealing of the nature of God to his people. Like the secular point of view, this assumption is also not provable by scientific method, but is a faith assumption. Thus it is the bible-believer who argues that the only reason the laws of the universe make any sense is that there is an intelligent creator. It is the bible-believer who states that it is no accident that the earth is the exact distance from the sun that it needs to be. The bible-believer will argue that the only reason man can do what he does is that an intelligent creator set it all in motion. Well, considering those two points of view, an athiest marriage is nothing more than random electrical neural patterns, with no set course and no arguable reason to be in the relationship in the first place. Wheras, the believers in a supreme being (God) have taken an oath in front of God as has been revealed to them in God's word. Thus the marriage has a goal and substance, and is not merely random chemical and electrial responses to the presence of the other individual. I am not intending to move this to religious debate, just supporting my response. - Nitron


                                        "Those that say a task is impossible shouldn't interrupt the ones who are doing it." - Chinese Proverb

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                                        Brit
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #74

                                        Kinda strange that the US' highest divorce rates occur in the Bible Belt, isn't it? ------------------------------------------ "What happened in that Rhode Island club is shocking. To think that over a hundred people would attend a Great White concert." - The Onion

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                                        • N Nitron

                                          Jonny Newman wrote: Reminds me of this[^] Just read the 'Statement of Principles' :confused: Was this reply intended for me? If so, don't get it. :~ I thought we were talking about divorce, which accidentally slipped on the floor of religion, but bumping my head on the wall of politics?! :confused: How did we end up there? - Nitron


                                          "Those that say a task is impossible shouldn't interrupt the ones who are doing it." - Chinese Proverb

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                                          Jon Newman
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #75

                                          It was the phrasing of that atheist quote reminded me of that page. No It has nothing directly related to the topic. But then life is full of suprises :-D


                                          "How long has the "Quote Selected Text" been around???"
                                          - Marc Clifton, Lounge 4 Mar '03
                                          "But a fresh install - it's like having clean sheets"
                                          - Chris Maunder Lounge 3 Mar '03


                                          Jonathan 'nonny' Newman
                                          Web Designer, Programmer, Lover, Visionary Leader... Homepage [www.nonny.com] [^]

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