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Couple.Divorce()

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  • P Paul Watson

    Simple enough question: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Nish's chauvenistic* post below and his reply that India values of repressing women are the reason for the low divorce rate in India. I thought I would ask for your opinion before replying. :) * however unintended

    Paul Watson
    Bluegrass
    Cape Town, South Africa

    Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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    Marc Clifton
    wrote on last edited by
    #79

    What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Marriage. :-D Marc Help! I'm an AI running around in someone's f*cked up universe simulator.
    Sensitivity and ethnic diversity means celebrating difference, not hiding from it. - Christian Graus
    Every line of code is a liability - Taka Muraoka
    Microsoft deliberately adds arbitrary layers of complexity to make it difficult to deliver Windows features on non-Windows platforms--Microsoft's "Halloween files"

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    • P Paul Watson

      Simple enough question: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Nish's chauvenistic* post below and his reply that India values of repressing women are the reason for the low divorce rate in India. I thought I would ask for your opinion before replying. :) * however unintended

      Paul Watson
      Bluegrass
      Cape Town, South Africa

      Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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      Yuriy Zabroda
      wrote on last edited by
      #80

      He wants more coding, she wants more fun.

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      • B Brit

        Kinda strange that the US' highest divorce rates occur in the Bible Belt, isn't it? ------------------------------------------ "What happened in that Rhode Island club is shocking. To think that over a hundred people would attend a Great White concert." - The Onion

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        Nitron
        wrote on last edited by
        #81

        Brit wrote: Kinda strange that the US' highest divorce rates occur in the Bible Belt, isn't it? Not really. Just as there are different flavors of atheism, there are (sadly) even more flavors of Christianity. I have met many self proclaiming "Christians" who behave in stark contrast to the teachings of the bible. IMO the "bible-belt" term is overrated. - Nitron


        "Those that say a task is impossible shouldn't interrupt the ones who are doing it." - Chinese Proverb

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        • D David Wulff

          Well speaking from my endless knowledge on such matters I'd attribute seventy to eighty percent to weak characters. People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. :(


          David Wulff

          "Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!" - Strong Bad [^]

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          S Offline
          Shog9 0
          wrote on last edited by
          #82

          David Wulff wrote: People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. I was gonna reply with a detailed essay on why you are wrong about this... ...but, eh, don't wanna bother typing that much. ---

          My whole life I've practiced the art of self-sabotage -- fearing success perhaps even more than fearing failure. I think I have got this flareup resolved, but I'm constantly waiting to see what new and exciting ways I can spoil my chances for a better life. - koreykruse, Compulsive Skin Picking

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          • D David Wulff

            Well speaking from my endless knowledge on such matters I'd attribute seventy to eighty percent to weak characters. People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. :(


            David Wulff

            "Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!" - Strong Bad [^]

            B Offline
            B Offline
            brianwelsch
            wrote on last edited by
            #83

            David Wulff wrote: People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. I've thought that too, included myself, added various factors, shook it up for a bit, and ended out wondering if things weren't always that way. I mean why all of a sudden would people become too lazy? Granted they don't generally need to worry about food and shelter, and with the ease of transportation and communication today, people have more and more free time to fill. Which brings about boredom, I think, not laziness. I find myself often wondering, what the hell am I doing, besides filling in the empty spaces of time between eating and crapping. Alliavating(sp?) boredom is what I'm doing. Whether its by spending "quality time" with loved ones, or surfing the net, or drinking beer and shooting billiards, programming something, reading, whatever.... Even if I had a more structured approach to filling in the time, like helping kids learn to read, or help the homeless get on their feet, etc.. I'm still doing it primarily to keep myself occupied. It comes down to finding what activity makes me happiest. BW "We get general information and specific information, but none of the specific information talks about time, place or methods or means..." - Tom Ridge - US Secretary of Homeland Security

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            • P Paul Watson

              peterchen wrote: Yeah, like "close your eyes and think of the country" I shouldn't laugh but :laugh: How terrible. Sex, making love is just the most glorious thing, for all involved, not just the male. If I were female that alone would piss me off enough to want to get my due from the men.

              Paul Watson
              Bluegrass
              Cape Town, South Africa

              Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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              Nemanja Trifunovic
              wrote on last edited by
              #84

              Paul Watson wrote: Sex, making love is just the most glorious thing Sex is OK, but I prefer a cold beer.

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              • P Paul Watson

                peterchen wrote: Yeah, like "close your eyes and think of the country" I shouldn't laugh but :laugh: How terrible. Sex, making love is just the most glorious thing, for all involved, not just the male. If I were female that alone would piss me off enough to want to get my due from the men.

                Paul Watson
                Bluegrass
                Cape Town, South Africa

                Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                peterchen
                wrote on last edited by
                #85

                Paul Watson wrote: Sex, making love is just the most glorious thing, for all involved For this thing alone, I'm willing to put up with all those emancipatory bullsh*t. Life hasn't always been this - let me quote something else to illustrate this: "Because of [reasons]. That's why I will go into this room tomorrow, will bare the untouched, and rape her under the noise of gun shots." "OK. Until then, let's go swimming."


                If you go to war, you will destroy a great country a stoned greek chick to the richest man of the world
                sighist | Agile Programming | doxygen

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                • N Navin

                  Yes, somehow IAlimony and IChildSupport objects never seem to get deleted. :-D You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

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                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #86

                  They are static, and will be there until the application is terminated. My article on a reference-counted smart pointer that supports polymorphic objects and raw pointers

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                  • P Paul Watson

                    Simple enough question: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Nish's chauvenistic* post below and his reply that India values of repressing women are the reason for the low divorce rate in India. I thought I would ask for your opinion before replying. :) * however unintended

                    Paul Watson
                    Bluegrass
                    Cape Town, South Africa

                    Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                    Christian Graus
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #87

                    In my opinion it's a simple fact that people don't take marriage seriously, and bail as soon as any disagreement occurs. Also, society is more amoral, and so more people cheat just for the sake of interesting sex, or because they think a great lover is a man who has lots of woman, not a man who keeps one woman happy for their lives. I think it's good in so far as I think in the past women especially felt compelled to stay in terrible situations that no-one should endure. But it's bad in that too many kids grow up in broken homes. My niece and nephew are examples. They will have many partners, because that seems normal to them, they are growing up with it. I don't think Nish's attitude is a problem, most women would be aware of it before they married someone with his views. Christian NO MATTER HOW MUCH BIG IS THE WORD SIZE ,THE DATA MUCT BE TRANSPORTED INTO THE CPU. - Vinod Sharma Anonymous wrote: OK. I read a c++ book. Or...a bit of it anyway. I'm sick of that evil looking console window. I think you are a good candidate for Visual Basic. - Nemanja Trifunovic

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                    • D David Wulff

                      Well speaking from my endless knowledge on such matters I'd attribute seventy to eighty percent to weak characters. People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. :(


                      David Wulff

                      "Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!" - Strong Bad [^]

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                      C Offline
                      Christian Graus
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #88

                      Agreed, 100%. Christian NO MATTER HOW MUCH BIG IS THE WORD SIZE ,THE DATA MUCT BE TRANSPORTED INTO THE CPU. - Vinod Sharma Anonymous wrote: OK. I read a c++ book. Or...a bit of it anyway. I'm sick of that evil looking console window. I think you are a good candidate for Visual Basic. - Nemanja Trifunovic

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                      • J Jon Newman

                        I agree, now its just some paperwork and a legal settlement. In the past it was a very serious thing to do indeed, and could mean family unrest etc...


                        "How long has the "Quote Selected Text" been around???"
                        - Marc Clifton, Lounge 4 Mar '03
                        "But a fresh install - it's like having clean sheets"
                        - Chris Maunder Lounge 3 Mar '03


                        Jonathan 'nonny' Newman
                        Web Designer, Programmer, Lover, Visionary Leader... Homepage [www.nonny.com] [^]

                        A Offline
                        A Offline
                        Anna Jayne Metcalfe
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #89

                        Hmmm...having recently been through "just some paperwork and a legal settlement" I can tell you it's not something anyone in their right mind would contemplate unless they had no alternative. The whole process is confrontational, expensive and extremely destressing. Losing the partner I thought was my soulmate is the most horrible thing I've ever had to do and in all honesty changing my apparent gender was easy by comparison. Over a year after proceedings started they're still not complete and I still regularly cry myself to sleep because I miss Karen so much - but I know I had no choice in leaving. :(( Sorry I'm not very coherant but I've been trying to keep going as normal with this on my mind for 3 days now and it's eating me apart. Anna :rose: www.annasplace.me.uk

                        "Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
                        - Marcia Graesch

                        Trouble with resource IDs? Try the Resource ID Organiser Add-In for Visual C++

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                        • M Megan Forbes

                          I'm no expert (having never been divorced), but I think part of it is the instant gratification lifestyle we lead these days. That, and the fact that expecting such a lifestyle is owed to us. One day you decide you would be happy married - so you get married, as quickly as possible. A few years later you decide you would be happier if you were not married - easy solution, get a divorce as quickly as possible. The world owes you happines, why should you work for it. Very sad state of mind we seem to have found for ourselves. Especially as experience teaches any sane person that the things they've had to work hardest for are the things they enjoy and appreciate the most. Hmmm... I'm not typing very coherently today am I? :rolleyes:


                          I may try to delete my CP cookies. But its almost like tossing the keys of the appartment into the river. - Andreas Saurwein

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                          Anna Jayne Metcalfe
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #90

                          Hun divorce isn't easy believe me. I thought I'd found my soulmate and I was wrong. With hindsight it was so obvious - but not to us. Now it's happened friends have told me they saw it coming long ago. Pressure from family to get married and have kids only made this outcome ultimately more likely. I miss her, but I can't go back. I can't be someone else anymore. :(( Anna :rose: www.annasplace.me.uk

                          "Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
                          - Marcia Graesch

                          Trouble with resource IDs? Try the Resource ID Organiser Add-In for Visual C++

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                          • P Paul Watson

                            Simple enough question: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Nish's chauvenistic* post below and his reply that India values of repressing women are the reason for the low divorce rate in India. I thought I would ask for your opinion before replying. :) * however unintended

                            Paul Watson
                            Bluegrass
                            Cape Town, South Africa

                            Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            Lost User
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #91

                            Paul Watson wrote: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Too many people are spoilt and self centred. They are unable and/or unwilling to play a little give and take so the relationship can work. It seems to be getting worse with every year that passes now. I don't get it. I'm 34 and coming up on 12 years of marriage. Shit is pretty fucking rocky from a financial view. If I was one of the spineless masses out there I would have already run. I think too many people dive in head first without any idea what they are getting themselves into. Then just go fuck it, time for a divorce. Michael Martin Australia mjm68@tpg.com.au "I personally love it because I can get as down and dirty as I want on the backend, while also being able to dabble with fun scripting and presentation games on the front end." - Chris Maunder 15/07/2002

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                            • A Anna Jayne Metcalfe

                              Hmmm...having recently been through "just some paperwork and a legal settlement" I can tell you it's not something anyone in their right mind would contemplate unless they had no alternative. The whole process is confrontational, expensive and extremely destressing. Losing the partner I thought was my soulmate is the most horrible thing I've ever had to do and in all honesty changing my apparent gender was easy by comparison. Over a year after proceedings started they're still not complete and I still regularly cry myself to sleep because I miss Karen so much - but I know I had no choice in leaving. :(( Sorry I'm not very coherant but I've been trying to keep going as normal with this on my mind for 3 days now and it's eating me apart. Anna :rose: www.annasplace.me.uk

                              "Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
                              - Marcia Graesch

                              Trouble with resource IDs? Try the Resource ID Organiser Add-In for Visual C++

                              J Offline
                              J Offline
                              Jon Newman
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #92

                              If there was adequate grounds for a divorce, it should mean that the marriage was far worse than the split up, otherwise you would not bother. I know retrospectivly, it was hard (and I can't say i've been through it myself), but if people knew how hard it was to go through it, they might not think of it as some paperwork, and what it is, the traumatic 'un-vowing'. I can only imagine how hard it would be to say to myself "I'm sorry, but the vows I made were wrong", it would make me feel stupid (if thats the right word) for making them in the first place because you would think twice before vowing/promising anything in the future. Sorry if I come over as "Tough shit your divorced, you should have thought about this earlier" I don't mean too, I know there are cases where its for the best and can work out well, and I truly symathise with you. One thing I reaqlly don't agree with is splitting when you have young children, the parents should make every effort to stay together until the child has left home. I know, my uncle is doing this, him and his wife are waiting untill the kids are grown up and leaving home before they decide to do anything. Once again it brings up the saying "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all", I have no 'real' say in the matter as I have never been in love and can't say that anyone has ever returned the favour. So losing someone like that would be beyond my comprehension. My £1.52......


                              "How long has the "Quote Selected Text" been around???"
                              - Marc Clifton, Lounge 4 Mar '03
                              "But a fresh install - it's like having clean sheets"
                              - Chris Maunder Lounge 3 Mar '03


                              Jonathan 'nonny' Newman
                              Web Designer, Programmer, Lover, Visionary Leader... Homepage [www.nonny.com] [^]

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                              • N Nitron

                                Paul Watson wrote: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Small attention span. Getting married too fast. Not knowing each other well enough, nor caring to. Lack of religion; not letting God into your relationship. Women's lib may be a catalyst, but with proper attention and nurturing of the relationship can be overcome. - Nitron


                                "Those that say a task is impossible shouldn't interrupt the ones who are doing it." - Chinese Proverb

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                                Steven Hicks n 1
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #93

                                Nitron wrote: Lack of religion; not letting God into your relationship. Good point.. you might want to have your flame resistant jacket on though ;). -Steven

                                CPA

                                CodeProjectAddict

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                                • S Steven Hicks n 1

                                  Nitron wrote: Lack of religion; not letting God into your relationship. Good point.. you might want to have your flame resistant jacket on though ;). -Steven

                                  CPA

                                  CodeProjectAddict

                                  By reading this message you are held fully responsible for any of the mispelln's or grammer, issues, found on, codeproject.com.

                                  For those who were wondering, actual (Linux) Penguins were harmed in creating this message.

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                                  Nitron
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #94

                                  Steven Hicks wrote: Good point.. you might want to have your flame resistant jacket on though . It's starting to melt through ;P (See the thread above) - Nitron


                                  "Those that say a task is impossible shouldn't interrupt the ones who are doing it." - Chinese Proverb

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                                  • J Jon Newman

                                    If there was adequate grounds for a divorce, it should mean that the marriage was far worse than the split up, otherwise you would not bother. I know retrospectivly, it was hard (and I can't say i've been through it myself), but if people knew how hard it was to go through it, they might not think of it as some paperwork, and what it is, the traumatic 'un-vowing'. I can only imagine how hard it would be to say to myself "I'm sorry, but the vows I made were wrong", it would make me feel stupid (if thats the right word) for making them in the first place because you would think twice before vowing/promising anything in the future. Sorry if I come over as "Tough shit your divorced, you should have thought about this earlier" I don't mean too, I know there are cases where its for the best and can work out well, and I truly symathise with you. One thing I reaqlly don't agree with is splitting when you have young children, the parents should make every effort to stay together until the child has left home. I know, my uncle is doing this, him and his wife are waiting untill the kids are grown up and leaving home before they decide to do anything. Once again it brings up the saying "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all", I have no 'real' say in the matter as I have never been in love and can't say that anyone has ever returned the favour. So losing someone like that would be beyond my comprehension. My £1.52......


                                    "How long has the "Quote Selected Text" been around???"
                                    - Marc Clifton, Lounge 4 Mar '03
                                    "But a fresh install - it's like having clean sheets"
                                    - Chris Maunder Lounge 3 Mar '03


                                    Jonathan 'nonny' Newman
                                    Web Designer, Programmer, Lover, Visionary Leader... Homepage [www.nonny.com] [^]

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                                    A Offline
                                    Anna Jayne Metcalfe
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #95

                                    I know hun it just hurts so much to see people discussing something that's so painful to me at the moment. Although Karen asked me for a divorce in Christmas 2001, I still have the Valentine's card she gave me the following February and reading it makes me cry every time. The truth is that despite all the anger and stress of the last year we still love each other (though she won't admit it I can see it and so can others) but we couldn't live together any longer. She couldn't cope with my transition, and I couldn't stay as I was once I accepted how I felt. Believe me, I tried. In the end my kids were suffering because of the conflict between Karen and I so leaving was really the only option. I miss them like crazy. :(( I would give almost anything not to have been born this way, but I have been and now the best thing I can do is put my life back together and try to help others as best I can. The worst thing is that talking to others I find my story is so very common. It's my hope that as society becomes more enlightened more dysphorics will come forward for treatment at a younger age - before they start families. The tragedy then of course is that there's no prospect of medical science being able to give us the ability to carry children for many years to come. For the trans-men out there, their chances of fathering a child are even more remote. Until that happens, we'll never have much prospect of a "normal" life. :( Anna :rose: Homepage | My life in tears

                                    "Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
                                    - Marcia Graesch

                                    Trouble with resource IDs? Try the Resource ID Organiser Add-In for Visual C++

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                                    • L l a u r e n

                                      "all's fair in love and war but in love there's no geneva convention" is the only way i figured to deal with what can (and all too often does) happen in love


                                      "penguins have no bill"
                                      biz stuff   about me

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                                      Anna Jayne Metcalfe
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #96

                                      Too true. :( Anna :rose: Homepage | My life in tears

                                      "Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
                                      - Marcia Graesch

                                      Trouble with resource IDs? Try the Resource ID Organiser Add-In for Visual C++

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                                      • D David Wulff

                                        Well speaking from my endless knowledge on such matters I'd attribute seventy to eighty percent to weak characters. People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. :(


                                        David Wulff

                                        "Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!" - Strong Bad [^]

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                                        Paul Watson
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #97

                                        David Wulff wrote: People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. I disagree. I am realising more and more that what we see is change is more a case of improved communication and awareness of a greater human population. In other words 200 years ago the percentage of lazy buggers and weak fools was just as great as today. The only difference is back then you only knew about the ones in your village and the hamlet down the river. So you assumed that it was just your lame ass village. Now though we see all villages are the same.

                                        Paul Watson
                                        Bluegrass
                                        Cape Town, South Africa

                                        Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                                        • C Chris Losinger

                                          loss of stigma associated with divorce. -c


                                          Image tools: ThumbNailer, Bobber, TIFFAssembler

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                                          Debs 0
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #98

                                          I'm of the opinion that human beings are not basically biologically-speaking monogamous; we just turn out to be (sometimes) as a result of social conditioning and expectations, depending on an accident of where we live and who we meet. So it's hardly surprising that if such social constraints are loosened that some take advantage of it. Debbie

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