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This happens to everybody else right?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • S S Houghtelin

    You'll wake up in a tub full of ice [^] and missing a kidney.

    It was broke, so I fixed it.

    M Offline
    M Offline
    Mark_Wallace
    wrote on last edited by
    #13

    ... And the remains of a packet of fava beans.

    I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

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    • S S Houghtelin

      You'll wake up in a tub full of ice [^] and missing a kidney.

      It was broke, so I fixed it.

      S Offline
      S Offline
      Slacker007
      wrote on last edited by
      #14

      Interesting - I thought the same thing. :laugh:

      G 1 Reply Last reply
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      • M Mark_Wallace

        glennPattonWorking wrote:

        Plymouth

        Oh boy, are you ever in trouble.

        I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriff
        wrote on last edited by
        #15

        Especially if the residents of Plymouth ever find out he confused them ... :~

        Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
        "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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        • P Pom Pey3

          So last night at about 8pm I went over to the local Co-op to get some bits and bobs. Outside I bumped into the young barmaid from my local and her friend. I got invited back to a Party at hers which was full of Teenagers. I was given coke, MDMA and speed, although I did have to buy my own beer. I spent the whole night in the kitchen chatting shit to a 27 year-old lesbian (who I had seen in the pub earlier that day and on a few other occasions). We got on like a house on fire and was talking to 4.30 in the morning. I even spoke to her girlfriend in Twickenham, who had finished with her earlier in the day and got them back together. She is now my best friend and has been texting me all day. we are meeting up tonight. Arranging the technicalities of me being surrogate father to their kid (when I agreed last night it wasn't just drunk talk on her part, apparently). It does sound like I need to sleep with her, but unfortunately the other girl doesn't need to be there. It's not just me though right?? Please tell me you get yourself in these situations when you nip out to the shops too?

          R Offline
          R Offline
          Roger Wright
          wrote on last edited by
          #16

          Happens all the time. Like Saturday, for instance. It was a beautiful day here in the desert, and my dog having run off for some reason last week, I thought I'd stop by the animal shelter to pick up a new one. I found a great little pup with hardly any miles on her, so I figured, as long as my luck is running high, I should probably get a new girlfriend, too. So I dropped the new pup at home and headed off to the nearest Women's shelter. That's when things started to go downhill. Will Rogers never met me.

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          • S S Houghtelin

            You'll wake up in a tub full of ice [^] and missing a kidney.

            It was broke, so I fixed it.

            K Offline
            K Offline
            Keith Barrow
            wrote on last edited by
            #17

            Man that evening is just getting better and better.

            KeithBarrow.net[^] - It might not be very good, but at least it is free!

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            • P Pom Pey3

              So last night at about 8pm I went over to the local Co-op to get some bits and bobs. Outside I bumped into the young barmaid from my local and her friend. I got invited back to a Party at hers which was full of Teenagers. I was given coke, MDMA and speed, although I did have to buy my own beer. I spent the whole night in the kitchen chatting shit to a 27 year-old lesbian (who I had seen in the pub earlier that day and on a few other occasions). We got on like a house on fire and was talking to 4.30 in the morning. I even spoke to her girlfriend in Twickenham, who had finished with her earlier in the day and got them back together. She is now my best friend and has been texting me all day. we are meeting up tonight. Arranging the technicalities of me being surrogate father to their kid (when I agreed last night it wasn't just drunk talk on her part, apparently). It does sound like I need to sleep with her, but unfortunately the other girl doesn't need to be there. It's not just me though right?? Please tell me you get yourself in these situations when you nip out to the shops too?

              K Offline
              K Offline
              Keith Barrow
              wrote on last edited by
              #18

              Why did you go to the Co-Op?

              KeithBarrow.net[^] - It might not be very good, but at least it is free!

              M 1 Reply Last reply
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              • Sander RosselS Sander Rossel

                I met a person once. It was awful.

                Read my (free) ebook Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly. Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles here on CodeProject.

                Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra

                Regards, Sander

                N Offline
                N Offline
                Nish Nishant
                wrote on last edited by
                #19

                Sander Rossel wrote:

                I met a person once. It was awful.

                Person. Not even once.

                Regards, Nish


                Website: www.voidnish.com Blog: voidnish.wordpress.com

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                • S Slacker007

                  I thought you were married with kids?

                  T Offline
                  T Offline
                  TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #20

                  "with kids", hmmm

                  #SupportHeForShe Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun

                  S 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

                    "with kids", hmmm

                    #SupportHeForShe Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun

                    S Offline
                    S Offline
                    Slacker007
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #21

                    grammar nazi, strikes again. :sigh:

                    T 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • S Slacker007

                      grammar nazi, strikes again. :sigh:

                      T Offline
                      T Offline
                      TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #22

                      not what I meant... he's being "contracted" to produce "kids"... so "with kids" means...???

                      #SupportHeForShe Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • K Keith Barrow

                        Why did you go to the Co-Op?

                        KeithBarrow.net[^] - It might not be very good, but at least it is free!

                        M Offline
                        M Offline
                        Mark_Wallace
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #23

                        Good job he didn't need eggs. Maybe that's what happened to Henry XIII.

                        I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • P Pom Pey3

                          So last night at about 8pm I went over to the local Co-op to get some bits and bobs. Outside I bumped into the young barmaid from my local and her friend. I got invited back to a Party at hers which was full of Teenagers. I was given coke, MDMA and speed, although I did have to buy my own beer. I spent the whole night in the kitchen chatting shit to a 27 year-old lesbian (who I had seen in the pub earlier that day and on a few other occasions). We got on like a house on fire and was talking to 4.30 in the morning. I even spoke to her girlfriend in Twickenham, who had finished with her earlier in the day and got them back together. She is now my best friend and has been texting me all day. we are meeting up tonight. Arranging the technicalities of me being surrogate father to their kid (when I agreed last night it wasn't just drunk talk on her part, apparently). It does sound like I need to sleep with her, but unfortunately the other girl doesn't need to be there. It's not just me though right?? Please tell me you get yourself in these situations when you nip out to the shops too?

                          M Offline
                          M Offline
                          Munchies_Matt
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #24

                          Pom Pey3 wrote:

                          I was given coke, MDMA and speed, although I did have to buy my own beer. I spent the whole night in the kitchen chatting sh*t

                          No surprises there then! :)

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                          • M Mark_Wallace

                            Careful when you're "performing your task". If you cure her, her girlfriend will hate you.

                            I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                            P Offline
                            P Offline
                            Pom Pey3
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #25

                            Mark_Wallace wrote:

                            If you cure her

                            To tell you the truth that is plan A.

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                            • S Slacker007

                              I thought you were married with kids?

                              P Offline
                              P Offline
                              Pom Pey3
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #26

                              Not married, but yes was shacked up, in love and with kids. Ended about 6 months back. Did make one post about it at the time. Only just coming to terms with it. Took the time to find the post[^], only because it was you, to find you even replied to it! :laugh:

                              S 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • P Pom Pey3

                                Not married, but yes was shacked up, in love and with kids. Ended about 6 months back. Did make one post about it at the time. Only just coming to terms with it. Took the time to find the post[^], only because it was you, to find you even replied to it! :laugh:

                                S Offline
                                S Offline
                                Slacker007
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #27

                                :-D I never told you that I have zero long-term memory. :laugh: We will most likely be having a similar conversation, this time next year. :thumbsup:

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                                • M Munchies_Matt

                                  Pom Pey3 wrote:

                                  I was given coke, MDMA and speed, although I did have to buy my own beer. I spent the whole night in the kitchen chatting sh*t

                                  No surprises there then! :)

                                  P Offline
                                  P Offline
                                  Pom Pey3
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #28

                                  Yeah you know it. And on that mix, if she hadn't have been a lesbian it would have been something else all night and a good part of the next day as well ;)

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                                  • P Pom Pey3

                                    Yeah you know it. And on that mix, if she hadn't have been a lesbian it would have been something else all night and a good part of the next day as well ;)

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    Munchies_Matt
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #29

                                    Pom Pey3 wrote:

                                    else all night and a good part of the next day as well

                                    On that mix it would take at least 36 hours to ejaculate. I know, I have been there (not quite with that precise mix, but close enough to know. :) ) As a fellow Devonian, I know how people really live in the country! ;)

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                                    • P Pom Pey3

                                      So last night at about 8pm I went over to the local Co-op to get some bits and bobs. Outside I bumped into the young barmaid from my local and her friend. I got invited back to a Party at hers which was full of Teenagers. I was given coke, MDMA and speed, although I did have to buy my own beer. I spent the whole night in the kitchen chatting shit to a 27 year-old lesbian (who I had seen in the pub earlier that day and on a few other occasions). We got on like a house on fire and was talking to 4.30 in the morning. I even spoke to her girlfriend in Twickenham, who had finished with her earlier in the day and got them back together. She is now my best friend and has been texting me all day. we are meeting up tonight. Arranging the technicalities of me being surrogate father to their kid (when I agreed last night it wasn't just drunk talk on her part, apparently). It does sound like I need to sleep with her, but unfortunately the other girl doesn't need to be there. It's not just me though right?? Please tell me you get yourself in these situations when you nip out to the shops too?

                                      B Offline
                                      B Offline
                                      BillWoodruff
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #30

                                      While I believe that somewhere along the line drugs were ingested by the OP, I don't believe any other part of the story, and think the entire post should be in the SoapBox next to all the other poorly written fictions, rants, trolling ... there.

                                      «There is a spectrum, from "clearly desirable behaviour," to "possibly dodgy behavior that still makes some sense," to "clearly undesirable behavior." We try to make the latter into warnings or, better, errors. But stuff that is in the middle category you don’t want to restrict unless there is a clear way to work around it.» Eric Lippert, May 14, 2008

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                                      • G glennPattonPub

                                        He's from Plymouth in the UK, last trip I had there being related didn't stop 'em.! ;P

                                        X Offline
                                        X Offline
                                        xiecsuk
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #31

                                        Perhaps he's moved. His moniker would suggest Portsmouth. But both places being naval ports, offers like this are quite frequent in the pubs close to the bases.

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                                        • M Munchies_Matt

                                          Pom Pey3 wrote:

                                          else all night and a good part of the next day as well

                                          On that mix it would take at least 36 hours to ejaculate. I know, I have been there (not quite with that precise mix, but close enough to know. :) ) As a fellow Devonian, I know how people really live in the country! ;)

                                          P Offline
                                          P Offline
                                          Pom Pey3
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #32

                                          Munchies_Matt wrote:

                                          On that mix it would take at least 36 hours to ejaculate

                                          Yep, it certainly does.

                                          Munchies_Matt wrote:

                                          As a fellow Devonian

                                          You know Pompey isn't in Devon right?

                                          M 1 Reply Last reply
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