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  3. Working on my own project makes me sick X|. Why?

Working on my own project makes me sick X|. Why?

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  • M Offline
    M Offline
    Member_14213599
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

    S M R M realJSOPR 9 Replies Last reply
    0
    • M Member_14213599

      I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

      S Offline
      S Offline
      Super Lloyd
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      To be entirely honest I have no real knowledge on such topic. And it sounds really strange too. From the sound of it, to make an uneducated guess, it could be anxiety attack. Does your home projects makes you anxious? I know some of them, which have dragged for way too long, do make me anxious...

      A new .NET Serializer All in one Menu-Ribbon Bar Taking over the world since 1371!

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • M Member_14213599

        I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

        M Offline
        M Offline
        Marc Clifton
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Member 14213599 wrote:

        I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own.

        I often experience the opposite. I've learned to "talk myself down" from the stress, expectations, and fears, particularly with regards to the realization that those symptoms are often due of shitty management and taking on responsibilities that I'm not being paid for nor agreed to.* Perhaps you're setting yourself up to be your own worst enemy, with much higher expectations of your personal work. As silly as it sounds, maybe telling your inner boss to take a hike so you can simply just enjoy doing "your own job" would start to help. * - in the job I recently left, the assistant VP and my direct manager sat down and, after being there for a year and half, finally gave me a point by point job description, including "taking over the projects that your manager is currently handling." I thanked that ArseVP for finally providing me with a job description, then pointed out that that was the first time I'd heard that, and I don't agree with it. Happily I found another job (and 4 months so far, loving it) soon after. :jig:

        Latest Article - Azure Function - Compute Pi Stress Test Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802

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        • M Member_14213599

          I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

          R Offline
          R Offline
          RickZeeland
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Maybe too simple an explanation, but aren't you too demanding for yourself? Your symptoms sound like burn out, but I'm not a doctor and there could be a physical cause for it as well. So to be sure a medical examination would be a good idea I think :-\

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • M Member_14213599

            I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

            M Offline
            M Offline
            MarkTJohnson
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Maybe it's your subconscious telling you that you need more work/life balance and look for something other than coding to do in your spare time. It may be considered blasphemous here but I don't do any outside coding. I spend time with my wife, children and grandchild.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • M Member_14213599

              I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

              realJSOPR Offline
              realJSOPR Offline
              realJSOP
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              So how long have you called yourself a developer?

              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • M Member_14213599

                I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

                M Offline
                M Offline
                Mark_Wallace
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                You're British. Straighten your back, square your shoulders, tighten your upper lip, and get the Hell on with it. Seriously. Something inside you -- anxiety, fear of failure, it doesn't matter what -- is making you feel this way. You've got to not let it take control. Just say "F*** YOU!" as loudly as you can through gritted teeth, and get on with the job. Leave the "poor me!" cr@p to the Americans and their analysts; you've got a British backbone, so use it.

                I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                realJSOPR K L 3 Replies Last reply
                0
                • M Mark_Wallace

                  You're British. Straighten your back, square your shoulders, tighten your upper lip, and get the Hell on with it. Seriously. Something inside you -- anxiety, fear of failure, it doesn't matter what -- is making you feel this way. You've got to not let it take control. Just say "F*** YOU!" as loudly as you can through gritted teeth, and get on with the job. Leave the "poor me!" cr@p to the Americans and their analysts; you've got a British backbone, so use it.

                  I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOP
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  "poor me" is not exclusive to the U.S.... that crap goes on EVERYWHERE.

                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                  M 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                    "poor me" is not exclusive to the U.S.... that crap goes on EVERYWHERE.

                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    Mark_Wallace
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Hey, since when were Texans Americans? So it's nothing to do with you, anyway.

                    I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                    realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • M Member_14213599

                      I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

                      G Offline
                      G Offline
                      GuyThiebaut
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Are you the same person as the user on this forum with the name "Madness, Coding and Meds"? I ask because you seem to be asking similar questions to "Madness, Coding and Meds" and your sentence structure seems rather similar to me. Outside of that I don't think this is the best place to ask for professional mental health help. It sounds like you have fairly serious symptoms and you'd probably be best helped by a doctor or mental health professional. Do you have contact information in your country/region for mental health help?

                      “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

                      ― Christopher Hitchens

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • M Mark_Wallace

                        You're British. Straighten your back, square your shoulders, tighten your upper lip, and get the Hell on with it. Seriously. Something inside you -- anxiety, fear of failure, it doesn't matter what -- is making you feel this way. You've got to not let it take control. Just say "F*** YOU!" as loudly as you can through gritted teeth, and get on with the job. Leave the "poor me!" cr@p to the Americans and their analysts; you've got a British backbone, so use it.

                        I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                        K Offline
                        K Offline
                        Kschuler
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Sometimes it's "poor me" but sometimes it's a legit medical condition. Don't perpetuate the stigma that it's always just in someone's head or they're lazy.

                        M 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • M Mark_Wallace

                          Hey, since when were Texans Americans? So it's nothing to do with you, anyway.

                          I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOP
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          I didn't mention texas. You mentioned Americans, and I was just chiming in because we have a treaty with them - just trying to be neighborly. :)

                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                          M D 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • realJSOPR realJSOP

                            I didn't mention texas. You mentioned Americans, and I was just chiming in because we have a treaty with them - just trying to be neighborly. :)

                            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                            M Offline
                            M Offline
                            Mark_Wallace
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Putting up with them northerners shows true Texan values. Proud to know ya.

                            I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • K Kschuler

                              Sometimes it's "poor me" but sometimes it's a legit medical condition. Don't perpetuate the stigma that it's always just in someone's head or they're lazy.

                              M Offline
                              M Offline
                              Mark_Wallace
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Even medical conditions cab be beaten back by force of will.

                              I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                              K 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • M Mark_Wallace

                                Even medical conditions cab be beaten back by force of will.

                                I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                                K Offline
                                K Offline
                                Kschuler
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                :wtf:

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • M Mark_Wallace

                                  You're British. Straighten your back, square your shoulders, tighten your upper lip, and get the Hell on with it. Seriously. Something inside you -- anxiety, fear of failure, it doesn't matter what -- is making you feel this way. You've got to not let it take control. Just say "F*** YOU!" as loudly as you can through gritted teeth, and get on with the job. Leave the "poor me!" cr@p to the Americans and their analysts; you've got a British backbone, so use it.

                                  I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Lost User
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Is this the same British backbone that can't seem to divorce the EU? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

                                  The Beer Prayer - Our lager, which art in barrels, hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, at home as it is in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, and forgive us our spillage as we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, but deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the beer, the bitter and the lager, for ever and ever. Barmen.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                    I didn't mention texas. You mentioned Americans, and I was just chiming in because we have a treaty with them - just trying to be neighborly. :)

                                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                                    D Offline
                                    D Offline
                                    dandy72
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    #realJSOP wrote:

                                    You mentioned Americans, and I was just chiming in because we have a treaty with them

                                    :-) Never heard it worded this way before, but it all makes sense.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • M Member_14213599

                                      I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

                                      RaviBeeR Offline
                                      RaviBeeR Offline
                                      RaviBee
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Member 14213599 wrote:

                                      and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick.

                                      I've been there.  Turns out, not only was I getting physically sick, I was churning out buggy code.  This is of the variety:       Me: Doctor, it hurts when I do that.       Doctor: Then don't do it. So I stopped pushing myself.  I started releasing TakeStock and WeatherMate on my own schedule, regardless of the pressure (especially with TS) to get new features out the door.  I found I was sleeping more, writing better code, and generally taking better care of my health.  I'm now working on my first "real" Android app (that I intend to publish on the Play Store).  The ante is upped with mobile apps.  With every bug, less-than-optimal user experience and missing (in the eye of the user) feature, your app takes a beating on the app store.  It doesn't matter if you spent months perfecting Feature X - if 90% of the users want Feature Y, your app is going to be mercilessly rated down. So my 2¢'s is: STOP PUSHING YOURSELF.  If you're not enjoying building apps on the side, don't build apps on the side.  But assuming that you love doing this kind of stuff (and if you didn't, you wouldn't have posted on CP :)), SLOW DOWN.  Take your time over each feature.  Don't rush to release.  Return to enjoying the process of building your app! /ravi

                                      My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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                                      • M Member_14213599

                                        I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

                                        B Offline
                                        B Offline
                                        BoomRShine
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Sounds like you are having a panic attack. Panic Attack Symptoms | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA[^]

                                        Quote:

                                        A panic attack is the abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes and includes at least four of the following symptoms: Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate Sweating Trembling or shaking Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering Feelings of choking Chest pain or discomfort Nausea or abdominal distress Feeling dizzy, unsteady, light-headed, or faint Chills or heat sensations Paresthesia (numbness or tingling sensations) Derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization (being detached from oneself) Fear of losing control or “going crazy” Fear of dying

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