Great article! Helps to put things into perspective. Further, it's great seeing what options are succeeding.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Albert Enstein once said that a person who has never failed has never tried. Yes, I did try and I learned so much from this experience. Well, here is to the future of more tries and hopefully less failures. :) Thanks!

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Great way to look at it. Yes, I did escape and in a sense I am celebrating. Glad it's not just me who uses his geekyness to analyze the outcome and to do things differently. Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting something different to happen. There are a few things that I would like to do differently next time if I have the opportunity. I appreciate your outlook and I must say your Darth Vader analogy sometimes feels true. Leading by fear is not something I aspire to be. Not sure if you have seen IMDB: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes[^] movie. Just in case you have not one thing I most enjoyed about the movie was the leadership role of Caesar (Andy Serkis) in comparision to Dreyfus (Gary Oldman). I guess that's what I would consider an ideal leader to be, but it's just a movie.

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We learn more by failure than by success.

You're abosutely right pleasure and pain are great motivators. Thanks for giving me more food for thought. Appreciate the words of encouragement and your perspective.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

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However, you should be consoled to know that this experience is very common.

Wow, I didn't know that.

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When your supposed mentor turned on you and told you to get things done, this was a reflection of what he expected of you as a "manager" not a leader. This attitude is rife in the IT profession at all levels where the term "leadership" is just a term for ego-centric managers to toss about.

I think your right about that. As you mentioned my view of leadership is people wanting to follow you. Maybe it's personality I don't know, but I have to take your word on it.

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You want to be a leader in IT than go out and be one! Build your own company...

That's the reason why I am seeking leadership roles is I already started my own company. Well, I have purchased my own LLC 2 years back, but I want to transition from consultant to owner if you get my meaning. My goal is not seeking the title of "CEO" or something to that affect, but rather to create a community to make a product in a positive environment. I know this is possible because my previous employment did this quite well to have high morale within the company. For me this is just wishful thinking at the moment and the proof is in the pudding as the expression goes. I want to learn "leadership" from professionals so I can take what works and apply them to my business. I really do take this seriously, because this means that much to me. I will do my best to learn the differences between managing and leadership as you have stated. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

So true! I do plan on learning from others even though I don't have the title of "Lead". I can make their experiences (failure or success) my own by studying why they did what they did in the circumstances they were in. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Great advice. All of it really.

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In any ways, as others have said, don't give up. If you give up you will be proving your supervisor right.

You're right, I am not going to allow this to hold me back, but to learn from this and grow. On a funny note I once heard that the best revenge is massive success. But that's not my motivation to succeed. Just want to be a better version of myself and I see leadership as a way to fulfill that goal.

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I think you're in none of these positions just by how you put your situation.

Thanks for that.

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This psychological blow will fade if don't grow too attached to it. Turn it around and use it as motivation. I hope my words sink into you and you get what you dream for. Never give up on your dreams

You're right and I don't plan on letting this blow get to me, but to learn from this. Everyone here is right that if I don't have a knack for this then I should do what's best and let someone else step up to the plate. However, I do believe I have some potential for this. As one motiviation speaker has said that there are 3 types of people in this world; winners, losers, and those who have not yet discovered how to win. I am the 3rd type. I just need to grow and learn before I try again. I like the thing that you said about being humble and making my leader look good. That will work to my benefit as well because I will be learning from their success and failures in the process. Another learning experience which I can make my own. I will not let this get to me, but will make more of an effort to grow. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Wow, great advice and straight to the point! :) I will be looking into that book that you have suggested. If there are any others that you have come across that have helped you beside the "One-Minute Manager" I would like to get my hands on those as well. I will be taking your advice to heart and will do what I can to apply them to my strategy.

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Set backs in life are to be expected. There is a time for success and a time for failure.

So true! Thanks again for advice.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Despite this bitterness that I have experienced I still feel motivated to try again. But this time I do need to seek a mentor someone who is willing to tell me what I need to hear not what I want to hear. Some have suggested books which I will be purchasing because this means that much to me. Also, thanks for the advice on leveraging assistance from your team. That is indeed something I would love to experience. A team of people working together to make a product. You would think that should happen everywhere, right? I have learned a valuable lesson from this experience and will prepare myself for the future. Thanks again!

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

The questions you have asked are very probing and enlightening. These are things that I have and will always consider. To look at oneself as objectively as possible in order to learn to grow. I know I have much to learn, but I am still eager to try again.

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As someone has said, imagining oneself positioned on a vertically oriented spiral, there are two ways of seeing. If you look downwards, you'll slide further down; if you look upwards, you'll get inspired to climb up. IMHO, no need to put away your dream; this is not the end of your career, isn't it? As a leader, you'll surely have much brighter days ahead.

I appreciate that. I am now looking up at that spiral and yes I do want to climb, but I need the tools to be successful in order to climb. Thanks for your feedback.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Thanks for the wise words. Yes, I do feel for quite some time that I have been setup to fail. Criticism came too quickly, but constructive criticism was extremely rare. As for leaving I am currently looking for another opportunity. The working environment was not a right fit for me. I know that wishful thinking can only take you so far, but I have to start somewhere in order to learn and this was a great learning experience of what not to do. My goal has not changed, but I do need to learn from someone who is willing to teach and give me the advice that is unbiased. To give me the advice that is best for me in order to learn. Thanks for your feedback it is greatly appreciated.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

I learned that lesson the hard way and I truly believe you're right about agendas. Many lessons learned. I will look into Glenn Brooke from that link you have posted. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Thanks for that. You're right I shouldn't let this get to me. Trying not to take this too personally. That's a great idea about reading about leadership of who I admire. Going to look into that.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Hello everyone, Very recently (last week) I was demoted from my leadership position within the website team. This has come as a blow for me. Being in a leadership position is something that I have worked very hard to get, but maintaining that has been equally challenging. This has been my first position in a leadership role, so I know I have must have made many rookie mistakes. Some mistakes I know I will not make again and others I don't know what I should have done differently. My biggest upset comes from my supervisor who I thought I could trust to help me "learn" how to lead a team. But communication between us has been falling apart for about two months. He wants me to "get it done" whatever that means in particular situations and seems no longer interested in mentoring me. I guess the mentoring part hurts the most because as I mentioned before being a leader is what I have wanted for a long time. I used to be a bit of a shy guy and this goal I set for myself really has helped me to trust in my vision and trust in my voice. Having someone to mentor me really meant something to me to work together to not only make a successful product, but helping me to learn how to rally workers together to accomplish the day to day tasks. Lately (the whole weekend), I have been asking myself whether I should put away this dream or to learn from this and grow (how do I grow? I have no clue. Still need some one to mentor me). If I choose to continue down this path I really do need someone to turn to for advice. Further, I highly doubt within this company I will be allowed another opportunity like the one I have received. If I choose to let this go then I need a new goal to strive for and at the moment I am clueless to what that goal might be. So I ask all of you have you been in a position within your career you were denied something you have desired? If so, how did you overcome them? Or how did you reevaluate your goals to see if it was "right" for you? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. The pain of this situation still feels raw to me because that's how important this leadership position meant to me. Thanks.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Office Space! :doh: How did I forget that one!?! Thanks for mentioning that. Such a great movie. At our company we have this server which we will one day in the near future PC Load letter that ancient box. Office Space style! :laugh:

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

These are just IT related movies that come to mind. Hackers War Games Matrix Pirates of Silicon Valley Terminator? iRobot SwordFish Tron Blackhat

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Buy me one too! Please! :)

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Wow that is incredibly sad news. These men displayed that they have no character and no sense of morality.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

I just wired you a +1 up vote. I want a pooper pig! :laugh:

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Power Rangers?

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur

Such a great movie! The soundtrack had some good songs associated to this movie.

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul." -Douglas MacArthur