The couple at the door
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I'm not sure this is a repost, but it's worth the read. This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first: John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary." Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us." Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?" John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shiat out of you." Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?" John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His ass." Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..." Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?" Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..." John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us." Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?" Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..." Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?" John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town." Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?" Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shiat out of you." Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?" John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money." Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?" John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it." Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?" Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street." Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?" John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'" Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game." John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the shiat out of you." Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..." Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank." Me: "Then how do you kiss His ass?" John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of
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Chris Meech wrote:
This is like a palindrone. It makes the same amount of sense whether you read it forwards or backwards.
Actually, Alvaro chose the wrong religion here - had he chosen Islam, he'd have got 20+ 5 votes here and lots of support. He happened to pick a religion that has a few sensitive and vocal members here. As I said, bad choice of religion from a public reception point of view :-) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
The Ultimate Grid - The #1 MFC grid out there!The funny thing is that it actually applies to pretty much all religions (with a slight Christian bias due to their propensity for door-to-door proselytizing). The book of rules that seem arbitrary and capricious to those outside the religion, the insistance that you accept a man's word that the book comes from a higher power, the threat of dire consequences if you don't believe... I think it plays to insecurity; those whose faith is on tenuous footing see the joke as making fun of their personal religion, whatever it is. Kind of like the nerd at the party that hears people laughing and thinks they're laughing at him. From a public relations standpoint, it's always best to make fun of Buddhism. You can poke fun at Buddhists all day, and they tend to just laugh along. Their Hank actually teaches them a lack of desire to kick people's asses :-D
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I don't think he picked a religion.
espeir wrote:
I don't think he picked a religion.
Not directly, but implicitly he did - and some of the Christians got pissed. Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
The Ultimate Grid - The #1 MFC grid out there! -
espeir wrote:
I don't think he picked a religion.
Not directly, but implicitly he did - and some of the Christians got pissed. Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
The Ultimate Grid - The #1 MFC grid out there!I was actually thinking Mormons. Whoever wrote this should consider that brevity is the soul of wit. The same thing could have been stated in 3 sentences.
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Vincent Reynolds wrote:
in accordance with Godwin's Law
Yeah, but that usually applies in general. When you make a comment suggesting genocide of Christians, that's a whole other story.
Right. Because when I made a lame joke based on your typo, you were able to discern my underlying call for Christian genocide. That is a rare insight you have, e, and the kind of insight that makes you a hoot. Not you meaning "all Christians", by the way; just you, personally. You're a hoot.
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Right. Because when I made a lame joke based on your typo, you were able to discern my underlying call for Christian genocide. That is a rare insight you have, e, and the kind of insight that makes you a hoot. Not you meaning "all Christians", by the way; just you, personally. You're a hoot.
Vincent Reynolds wrote:
you were able to discern my underlying call for Christian genocide.
Don't get mad at me. You said it.
Vincent Reynolds wrote:
You're a hoot.
Thanks! I'm a hoot in under 5 pages. :cool:
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I was actually thinking Mormons. Whoever wrote this should consider that brevity is the soul of wit. The same thing could have been stated in 3 sentences.
Brevity. Like.... Take espeir. Please.
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Brevity. Like.... Take espeir. Please.
In Haiku form: Please take espeir now I don't like the way he rants He gets on my nerves
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Go kiss Hank's ass some more first.
...then leave town. :laugh:
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In Haiku form: Please take espeir now I don't like the way he rants He gets on my nerves
More brief than Haiku Henny Youngman said it best, Thus: take espeir, please
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Vincent Reynolds wrote:
you were able to discern my underlying call for Christian genocide.
Don't get mad at me. You said it.
Vincent Reynolds wrote:
You're a hoot.
Thanks! I'm a hoot in under 5 pages. :cool:
espeir wrote:
Don't get mad at me. You said it.
Mad? No, mad is: :mad:. I was more: :wtf:
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More brief than Haiku Henny Youngman said it best, Thus: take espeir, please
More brief than Henry He could have said "take espeir" Then we have much cheer
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espeir wrote:
Don't get mad at me. You said it.
Mad? No, mad is: :mad:. I was more: :wtf:
First you were all like ;P And I was all like :omg: So then I was like ;P And you were like :mad: And I was all like :laugh: And then you claimed to be like :wtf: And I was like :rolleyes:
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More brief than Henry He could have said "take espeir" Then we have much cheer
More brief than "Henry"? "Take espeir" is not a joke. It's "Henny", dumbass.
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More brief than "Henry"? "Take espeir" is not a joke. It's "Henny", dumbass.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. You dumbass.
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First you were all like ;P And I was all like :omg: So then I was like ;P And you were like :mad: And I was all like :laugh: And then you claimed to be like :wtf: And I was like :rolleyes:
I don't think there is a retard emoticon that would fit your perceived state.
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The funny thing is that it actually applies to pretty much all religions (with a slight Christian bias due to their propensity for door-to-door proselytizing). The book of rules that seem arbitrary and capricious to those outside the religion, the insistance that you accept a man's word that the book comes from a higher power, the threat of dire consequences if you don't believe... I think it plays to insecurity; those whose faith is on tenuous footing see the joke as making fun of their personal religion, whatever it is. Kind of like the nerd at the party that hears people laughing and thinks they're laughing at him. From a public relations standpoint, it's always best to make fun of Buddhism. You can poke fun at Buddhists all day, and they tend to just laugh along. Their Hank actually teaches them a lack of desire to kick people's asses :-D
Vincent Reynolds wrote:
Their Hank actually teaches them a lack of desire to kick people's asses
Just don't go pissing off the Shaolin monks. Although, you'd have to do a pretty good job to have them kick your ass in Hank's name. :)
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Awesome! Thanks! "If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done." - Peter Ustinov
<slightly-sarcastic>Rumor has it that someone is trolling the soapbox with a mindset much alike those who shit in their pants at the sight of a picture of Mohammed. You might be branded as a Christian hater - not too dissimilar from a Jew hater - a.k.a Nazi.</slightly-sarcastic> :rolleyes:
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<slightly-sarcastic>Rumor has it that someone is trolling the soapbox with a mindset much alike those who shit in their pants at the sight of a picture of Mohammed. You might be branded as a Christian hater - not too dissimilar from a Jew hater - a.k.a Nazi.</slightly-sarcastic> :rolleyes:
That's not really a good comparison because you didn't attack Jesus or the Christian religion, but instead stated that you wonder why we have Christians. Beyond being bigotted, it appears that you believe that you should be rid of them completely. Now I may not be an expert on this subject, but that sure seems like an endorsement of genocide.
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That's not really a good comparison because you didn't attack Jesus or the Christian religion, but instead stated that you wonder why we have Christians. Beyond being bigotted, it appears that you believe that you should be rid of them completely. Now I may not be an expert on this subject, but that sure seems like an endorsement of genocide.
espeir wrote:
but instead stated that you wonder why we have Christians
I did no such thing.