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The couple at the door

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • R Red Stateler

    Alvaro Mendez wrote:

    I don't hate Christians.

    Liar.

    Alvaro Mendez wrote:

    Do you hate atheists?

    Not as a general rule. I do get annoyed by militant atheists like yourself who are constantly tring to shove your belief system down other peoples' throats while saying that having a belief system is asinine. Very hypocritical (which is ironic since hypocrisy is the only vice of the atheist).

    Alvaro Mendez wrote:

    I happen to not enjoy much of the stuff you post here either.

    And you make it known. So why complain when I make it known that your joke is a 5 page waste of time? Kind of hypocritical, don't you think?

    A Offline
    A Offline
    Alvaro Mendez
    wrote on last edited by
    #46

    espeir wrote:

    Liar.

    espeir wrote:

    militant atheists like yourself

    espeir wrote:

    Kind of hypocritical

    We're sorry, Alvaro is busy at the moment. Please entertain yourself by reading his signature below, which at the moment happens to be very appropriate. Thank you and have a nice day.


    ... since we've descended to name calling, I'm thinking you're about twenty pounds of troll droppings in a ten pound bag. - Vincent Reynolds

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    • A Alvaro Mendez

      I'm not sure this is a repost, but it's worth the read. This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first: John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary." Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us." Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?" John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shiat out of you." Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?" John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His ass." Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..." Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?" Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..." John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us." Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?" Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..." Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?" John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town." Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?" Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shiat out of you." Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?" John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money." Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?" John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it." Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?" Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street." Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?" John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'" Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game." John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the shiat out of you." Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..." Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank." Me: "Then how do you kiss His ass?" John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #47

      Awesome! Thanks! "If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done." - Peter Ustinov

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      • N Nish Nishant

        Chris Meech wrote:

        This is like a palindrone. It makes the same amount of sense whether you read it forwards or backwards.

        Actually, Alvaro chose the wrong religion here - had he chosen Islam, he'd have got 20+ 5 votes here and lots of support. He happened to pick a religion that has a few sensitive and vocal members here. As I said, bad choice of religion from a public reception point of view :-) Regards, Nish


        Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
        The Ultimate Grid - The #1 MFC grid out there!

        V Offline
        V Offline
        Vincent Reynolds
        wrote on last edited by
        #48

        The funny thing is that it actually applies to pretty much all religions (with a slight Christian bias due to their propensity for door-to-door proselytizing). The book of rules that seem arbitrary and capricious to those outside the religion, the insistance that you accept a man's word that the book comes from a higher power, the threat of dire consequences if you don't believe... I think it plays to insecurity; those whose faith is on tenuous footing see the joke as making fun of their personal religion, whatever it is. Kind of like the nerd at the party that hears people laughing and thinks they're laughing at him. From a public relations standpoint, it's always best to make fun of Buddhism. You can poke fun at Buddhists all day, and they tend to just laugh along. Their Hank actually teaches them a lack of desire to kick people's asses :-D

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        • R Red Stateler

          I don't think he picked a religion.

          N Offline
          N Offline
          Nish Nishant
          wrote on last edited by
          #49

          espeir wrote:

          I don't think he picked a religion.

          Not directly, but implicitly he did - and some of the Christians got pissed. Regards, Nish


          Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
          The Ultimate Grid - The #1 MFC grid out there!

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          • N Nish Nishant

            espeir wrote:

            I don't think he picked a religion.

            Not directly, but implicitly he did - and some of the Christians got pissed. Regards, Nish


            Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
            The Ultimate Grid - The #1 MFC grid out there!

            R Offline
            R Offline
            Red Stateler
            wrote on last edited by
            #50

            I was actually thinking Mormons. Whoever wrote this should consider that brevity is the soul of wit. The same thing could have been stated in 3 sentences.

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            • R Red Stateler

              Vincent Reynolds wrote:

              in accordance with Godwin's Law

              Yeah, but that usually applies in general. When you make a comment suggesting genocide of Christians, that's a whole other story.

              V Offline
              V Offline
              Vincent Reynolds
              wrote on last edited by
              #51

              Right. Because when I made a lame joke based on your typo, you were able to discern my underlying call for Christian genocide. That is a rare insight you have, e, and the kind of insight that makes you a hoot. Not you meaning "all Christians", by the way; just you, personally. You're a hoot.

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              • V Vincent Reynolds

                Right. Because when I made a lame joke based on your typo, you were able to discern my underlying call for Christian genocide. That is a rare insight you have, e, and the kind of insight that makes you a hoot. Not you meaning "all Christians", by the way; just you, personally. You're a hoot.

                R Offline
                R Offline
                Red Stateler
                wrote on last edited by
                #52

                Vincent Reynolds wrote:

                you were able to discern my underlying call for Christian genocide.

                Don't get mad at me. You said it.

                Vincent Reynolds wrote:

                You're a hoot.

                Thanks! I'm a hoot in under 5 pages. :cool:

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                • R Red Stateler

                  I was actually thinking Mormons. Whoever wrote this should consider that brevity is the soul of wit. The same thing could have been stated in 3 sentences.

                  V Offline
                  V Offline
                  Vincent Reynolds
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #53

                  Brevity. Like.... Take espeir. Please.

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                  • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

                    Go kiss Hank's ass some more first.

                    V Offline
                    V Offline
                    Vincent Reynolds
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #54

                    ...then leave town. :laugh:

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                    • V Vincent Reynolds

                      Brevity. Like.... Take espeir. Please.

                      R Offline
                      R Offline
                      Red Stateler
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #55

                      In Haiku form: Please take espeir now I don't like the way he rants He gets on my nerves

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                      • R Red Stateler

                        In Haiku form: Please take espeir now I don't like the way he rants He gets on my nerves

                        V Offline
                        V Offline
                        Vincent Reynolds
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #56

                        More brief than Haiku Henny Youngman said it best, Thus: take espeir, please

                        R 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • R Red Stateler

                          Vincent Reynolds wrote:

                          you were able to discern my underlying call for Christian genocide.

                          Don't get mad at me. You said it.

                          Vincent Reynolds wrote:

                          You're a hoot.

                          Thanks! I'm a hoot in under 5 pages. :cool:

                          V Offline
                          V Offline
                          Vincent Reynolds
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #57

                          espeir wrote:

                          Don't get mad at me. You said it.

                          Mad? No, mad is: :mad:. I was more: :wtf:

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                          • V Vincent Reynolds

                            More brief than Haiku Henny Youngman said it best, Thus: take espeir, please

                            R Offline
                            R Offline
                            Red Stateler
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #58

                            More brief than Henry He could have said "take espeir" Then we have much cheer

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                            • V Vincent Reynolds

                              espeir wrote:

                              Don't get mad at me. You said it.

                              Mad? No, mad is: :mad:. I was more: :wtf:

                              R Offline
                              R Offline
                              Red Stateler
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #59

                              First you were all like ;P And I was all like :omg: So then I was like ;P And you were like :mad: And I was all like :laugh: And then you claimed to be like :wtf: And I was like :rolleyes:

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                              • R Red Stateler

                                More brief than Henry He could have said "take espeir" Then we have much cheer

                                V Offline
                                V Offline
                                Vincent Reynolds
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #60

                                More brief than "Henry"? "Take espeir" is not a joke. It's "Henny", dumbass.

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                                • V Vincent Reynolds

                                  More brief than "Henry"? "Take espeir" is not a joke. It's "Henny", dumbass.

                                  R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  Red Stateler
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #61

                                  Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. You dumbass.

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                                  • R Red Stateler

                                    First you were all like ;P And I was all like :omg: So then I was like ;P And you were like :mad: And I was all like :laugh: And then you claimed to be like :wtf: And I was like :rolleyes:

                                    J Offline
                                    J Offline
                                    Jorgen Sigvardsson
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #62

                                    I don't think there is a retard emoticon that would fit your perceived state.

                                    R 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • V Vincent Reynolds

                                      The funny thing is that it actually applies to pretty much all religions (with a slight Christian bias due to their propensity for door-to-door proselytizing). The book of rules that seem arbitrary and capricious to those outside the religion, the insistance that you accept a man's word that the book comes from a higher power, the threat of dire consequences if you don't believe... I think it plays to insecurity; those whose faith is on tenuous footing see the joke as making fun of their personal religion, whatever it is. Kind of like the nerd at the party that hears people laughing and thinks they're laughing at him. From a public relations standpoint, it's always best to make fun of Buddhism. You can poke fun at Buddhists all day, and they tend to just laugh along. Their Hank actually teaches them a lack of desire to kick people's asses :-D

                                      J Offline
                                      J Offline
                                      Jorgen Sigvardsson
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #63

                                      Vincent Reynolds wrote:

                                      Their Hank actually teaches them a lack of desire to kick people's asses

                                      Just don't go pissing off the Shaolin monks. Although, you'd have to do a pretty good job to have them kick your ass in Hank's name. :)

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                                      • L Lost User

                                        Awesome! Thanks! "If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done." - Peter Ustinov

                                        J Offline
                                        J Offline
                                        Jorgen Sigvardsson
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #64

                                        <slightly-sarcastic>Rumor has it that someone is trolling the soapbox with a mindset much alike those who shit in their pants at the sight of a picture of Mohammed. You might be branded as a Christian hater - not too dissimilar from a Jew hater - a.k.a Nazi.</slightly-sarcastic> :rolleyes:

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                                        • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

                                          <slightly-sarcastic>Rumor has it that someone is trolling the soapbox with a mindset much alike those who shit in their pants at the sight of a picture of Mohammed. You might be branded as a Christian hater - not too dissimilar from a Jew hater - a.k.a Nazi.</slightly-sarcastic> :rolleyes:

                                          R Offline
                                          R Offline
                                          Red Stateler
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #65

                                          That's not really a good comparison because you didn't attack Jesus or the Christian religion, but instead stated that you wonder why we have Christians. Beyond being bigotted, it appears that you believe that you should be rid of them completely. Now I may not be an expert on this subject, but that sure seems like an endorsement of genocide.

                                          J 1 Reply Last reply
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