How do you cope?
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Bassam Abdul-Baki wrote:
why go through it again?
It's amazing what one can do when they are sufficiently bored enough. :laugh: Jeremy Falcon
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You know I didn't even catch that (you might say my background desensitized me to it). That part I would agree with. It's not respectful. You have me there Nish. :-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
code-frog wrote:
You know I didn't even catch that (you might say my background desensitized me to it).
I understand. I didn't pick it in the first read too - had to read it again after seeing Jeremy's reactions.
code-frog wrote:
That part I would agree with. It's not respectful.
That's what I thought. It just wasn't respectful. Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New) -
Go outside, pick up the nicest smoothest stone you can find. Throw it as hard as you can and as far as you can. Once it's in the air freak out, try to keep it in the air longer, run and try to catch it, do anything possible to keep it in the air. Nothing you can do is going to prevent that stone from hitting the ground. It's going to. When it does that's it. Nothing you did will have changed that. So I offer you this.
- Appreciate the stone but don't covet it.
- When you throw the stone, aim carefully. You only get one toss so make sure it's path is free of obstructions.
- Admire how well the stone flies, how while it's in the air nothing impedes it's flight.
- When it comes to the ground clear your mind. It's over.
- Go back inside and live your life the way the stone lived it's flight.
Life is not about the destination it's about the journey. Some will tell you that you need God/Religion and while I think that's excellent advice I also think you need to realize that those things you hold on to the tightest will slip through your fingers and because you clutched them so tightly you'll never learn to appreciate them for what they are or were. Consider this. Right now you are not remembering the way your grandfather lived, you are remembering how he died. How do you think he would feel about that? He lived an entire life in front of you and all you can think about is how he died? I think instead he'd want you to cherish the best things about him and to keep him alive in your memories. Death is a brutal fact of life and you may need to seek grief counselling and there's no shame in that it can be very helpful. But I really think you just need lighten your step a bit carry your best memories of him wherever you go and celebrate the fact that for him life is no longer about suffering in physical pain and mental dimentia. Remember the great man he was not the shell of a man he became.:rose:
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used
Beautifully put. However, there is one logical flaw in your advice.
code-frog wrote:
Admire how well the stone flies, how while it's in the air nothing impedes it's flight.
If nothing were to impede upon the stone's flight, then, well, it would never stop flying. :) Josh
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Jeremy Falcon wrote:
I'm not attacking people; I'm attacking religion.
You were clearly attacking both.
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
The problem with some people is they take everything personally.
Religion is composed of closely held personal beliefs. When you belittle somebody's basic belief system, it's hurtful. It's like saying, "Dude, I totally banged your wife last night."
espeir wrote:
It's like saying, "Dude, I totally banged your wife last night."
If the effect of someone saying that to you is like them remarking about your religion, then you must be sharing her, like your religion, with a lot other people. :-D
"Religion is assurance in numbers." - Bassam Abdul-Baki Web - Blog - RSS - Math
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Do you know if they have nachos in Hell? I hope so, it would suck to go sans nacho for the rest of eternity. I mean, Satan must have some kickin' hot salsa, right? He probably has salsa that's hotter than Hell!! :-D
Josh Smith wrote:
Do you know if they have nachos in Hell?
I don't know about nachos, but they better have broadband, because if I am going to hell, I am taking my laptop with me. Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New) -
code-frog wrote:
I think we both learn stuff as we go.
But that's what life is all about. :cool: Jeremy Falcon
Yeah for example... By reducing intake and just exercising I feel better. It really doesn't seem to matter at all how I combine those foods. If I eat less that seems to make a lot of difference. For those reading this Jeremy is the only person who will have a clue what I'm talking about.:-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
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David Stone wrote:
When a Christian tells someone else of their own beliefs, it's usually out of a desire to help the other person.
I don't think so - I usually see it as an attempt to convert someone :-)
David Stone wrote:
Christianity isn't some pyramid scheme where you get more points in heaven for every person you sign up...
Most Christians I've known in my life (with some really nice exceptions of course) seemed to behave like there was this pyramid-model. Every chance they got to talk about Jesus they would, even if they could clearly see that the listener wasn't in the least interested. Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New)Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
I usually see it as an attempt to convert someone
Right. And the reason they do that is because they want to show the other person something that has helped them immensely. Christians believe that Christianity is the only way to heaven. So why wouldn't they try to share that with people?
Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
Most Christians I've known in my life (with some really nice exceptions of course) seemed to behave like there was this pyramid-model.
I know. It sucks. As a Christian, I have many issues with how other Christians represent this faith in modern culture. They make the rest of us look bad. I don't go around forcing my religion down other people's throats. If they want to know, they ask. And I have had a surprising number of people ask me. (Surprising because I'm not your cookie cutter Christian. So when people find out, they're usually intrigued as to how I can be a Christian and still be into secular music, watch R rated movies, etc etc etc.) And if someone isn't interested, I'm not going to try to talk to them.
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man? -
Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
You mean like that guy in the Soapbox the other day who said Jesus will beat the crap out of you if you don't believe in him?
Are you serious?! :wtf:
Josh Smith wrote:
Are you serious?!
Yep, see this thread[^] Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New) -
Beautifully put. However, there is one logical flaw in your advice.
code-frog wrote:
Admire how well the stone flies, how while it's in the air nothing impedes it's flight.
If nothing were to impede upon the stone's flight, then, well, it would never stop flying. :) Josh
Oh come on... That's not physical impedence. That's just a coefficient of static friction, a constant of gravity and a small result of any wind present. I exclude those because... I live in a vacuum.:-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
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Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
I lost my mother when I was 14. My dad died when I was 21. I actually had to fill in the box "orphan" on my student loan application the following fall. Being almost 30, I have lived half my life without my mother and a fourth without my father. My life is sectioned this way. I feel that I was one person when mom was alive, another when it was just dad, and now I am who I am without them. Does it get better with time? Yes and no. I still cry like a little kid sometimes screaming "I want my mommy." There are moments when it will hit you like a mac truck. Your grandpa had a good life and had family who cared about him. Having someone love you is a wonderful thing. I find some comfort in my religion and talk to G-d about it, and sometimes I have imaginary conversations with my parents. That's how I deal with it. But I know there will always be times when I will crack and bawl. And you know what? I've learned that it's okay, because ignoring the feelings make it much worse. After my dad died I got horribly depressed. My doctor put me on anti-depressants and I'm still on them. I really encourage you that if time goes by you feel depressed (and yes there is a difference between depression and sadness) to please see your doctor. Don't get to the point I did. My best wishes and prayers for you and your family. We are all giving you a big virtual hug.
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David Stone wrote:
And worse yet, what if they're all militant about their religion?
You mean like that guy in the Soapbox the other day who said Jesus will beat the crap out of you if you don't believe in him? ;P Then he'll have to resort to his atheist and agnostic friends :) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New)Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
You mean like that guy in the Soapbox the other day who said Jesus will beat the crap out of you if you don't believe in him
See...it's that type of Christian that I'm talking about that totally skews public perception of this faith. Not all Christians are like that. Unfortunately, there are enough of them. And they seem to be the most vocal about what they believe...:sigh
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man? -
Josh Smith wrote:
Are you serious?!
Yep, see this thread[^] Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New)I wonder if that guy is required to wear a muzzle and straightjacket when he goes out into public...if not, he should!
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espeir wrote:
Nero was emperor of Rome.
I know Nero had something to do with Roman times, but my history is fuzzy. What's the point? Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
I know Nero had something to do with Roman times
How do you know? My point is obviously that most of the education (which you revere but apparently lack) that one gains in life is through others. We only know that Nero existed through writings and archeology...the same as Jesus. Yet you "know" that Nero existed, having only heard of his existence from others. You probably have not undertaken a life-long quest to prove that he existed.
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Oh come on... That's not physical impedence. That's just a coefficient of static friction, a constant of gravity and a small result of any wind present. I exclude those because... I live in a vacuum.:-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
ROTF - I know. Just prodding and poking. Really, your advice was great. I just had to take a cheap jab. :->
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Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
:rose: My condolences. :rose: Dealing with the death of a loved one is difficult. Seven years ago I lost both my parents within the span of 5 days. I felt like I was living in a fog for about a year and a half. Even today if I see the right photo or have a vivid memory I can get choked up. I suppose I prefer it this way rather than forgetting them completely. "The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass." - Martin Mull
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espeir wrote:
It's like saying, "Dude, I totally banged your wife last night."
If the effect of someone saying that to you is like them remarking about your religion, then you must be sharing her, like your religion, with a lot other people. :-D
"Religion is assurance in numbers." - Bassam Abdul-Baki Web - Blog - RSS - Math
You're clearly not too bright.
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Oh come on... That's not physical impedence. That's just a coefficient of static friction, a constant of gravity and a small result of any wind present. I exclude those because... I live in a vacuum.:-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
code-frog wrote:
I exclude those because... I live in a vacuum.:-D
Great. I almost just spit water out all over my laptop. Thanks a lot Rex. ;P
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man? -
Yeah for example... By reducing intake and just exercising I feel better. It really doesn't seem to matter at all how I combine those foods. If I eat less that seems to make a lot of difference. For those reading this Jeremy is the only person who will have a clue what I'm talking about.:-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
It's amazing to think how awesome the human body really is. It's so resilient. It's meant to move, but most people don't and they don't eat nutritiously. Try running a car for 80+ years without oil, it just won't happen. Jeremy Falcon
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
I usually see it as an attempt to convert someone
Right. And the reason they do that is because they want to show the other person something that has helped them immensely. Christians believe that Christianity is the only way to heaven. So why wouldn't they try to share that with people?
Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
Most Christians I've known in my life (with some really nice exceptions of course) seemed to behave like there was this pyramid-model.
I know. It sucks. As a Christian, I have many issues with how other Christians represent this faith in modern culture. They make the rest of us look bad. I don't go around forcing my religion down other people's throats. If they want to know, they ask. And I have had a surprising number of people ask me. (Surprising because I'm not your cookie cutter Christian. So when people find out, they're usually intrigued as to how I can be a Christian and still be into secular music, watch R rated movies, etc etc etc.) And if someone isn't interested, I'm not going to try to talk to them.
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man?David Stone wrote:
Christians believe that Christianity is the only way to heaven. So why wouldn't they try to share that with people?
Yep, I understand why it's done. I just wish it was done a little less forcibly.
David Stone wrote:
I know. It sucks. As a Christian, I have many issues with how other Christians represent this faith in modern culture. They make the rest of us look bad. I don't go around forcing my religion down other people's throats.
Yes - you definitely don't In fact, to be honest, until today, I thought you'd be an atheist :-)
David Stone wrote:
And if someone isn't interested, I'm not going to try to talk to them.
They should all learn from you I say! :-) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New) -
Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
My heartfelt condolences for your terrible loss, and what you are going through because of it. :rose: :rose: My advice: Think about the wonderful person that he was, the cherished memories you have of him. Talk with about these things with others who share the loss. Share memories, keepsakes, and thoughts. Remind yourself of the wonder of his life, brief though it was in the scheme of things, but cherished by those who knew him. Remind yourself that though the closing chapter on his life on earth was so sad, the book of his life is full of what it means to be human - the sorrows and joys, the hopes and disappointments - and it meant so much to him to live that life, and means so much to those who remain to look back on it.