How do you cope?
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Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
:rose: My condolences. :rose: Dealing with the death of a loved one is difficult. Seven years ago I lost both my parents within the span of 5 days. I felt like I was living in a fog for about a year and a half. Even today if I see the right photo or have a vivid memory I can get choked up. I suppose I prefer it this way rather than forgetting them completely. "The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass." - Martin Mull
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espeir wrote:
It's like saying, "Dude, I totally banged your wife last night."
If the effect of someone saying that to you is like them remarking about your religion, then you must be sharing her, like your religion, with a lot other people. :-D
"Religion is assurance in numbers." - Bassam Abdul-Baki Web - Blog - RSS - Math
You're clearly not too bright.
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Oh come on... That's not physical impedence. That's just a coefficient of static friction, a constant of gravity and a small result of any wind present. I exclude those because... I live in a vacuum.:-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
code-frog wrote:
I exclude those because... I live in a vacuum.:-D
Great. I almost just spit water out all over my laptop. Thanks a lot Rex. ;P
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man? -
Yeah for example... By reducing intake and just exercising I feel better. It really doesn't seem to matter at all how I combine those foods. If I eat less that seems to make a lot of difference. For those reading this Jeremy is the only person who will have a clue what I'm talking about.:-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
It's amazing to think how awesome the human body really is. It's so resilient. It's meant to move, but most people don't and they don't eat nutritiously. Try running a car for 80+ years without oil, it just won't happen. Jeremy Falcon
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
I usually see it as an attempt to convert someone
Right. And the reason they do that is because they want to show the other person something that has helped them immensely. Christians believe that Christianity is the only way to heaven. So why wouldn't they try to share that with people?
Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
Most Christians I've known in my life (with some really nice exceptions of course) seemed to behave like there was this pyramid-model.
I know. It sucks. As a Christian, I have many issues with how other Christians represent this faith in modern culture. They make the rest of us look bad. I don't go around forcing my religion down other people's throats. If they want to know, they ask. And I have had a surprising number of people ask me. (Surprising because I'm not your cookie cutter Christian. So when people find out, they're usually intrigued as to how I can be a Christian and still be into secular music, watch R rated movies, etc etc etc.) And if someone isn't interested, I'm not going to try to talk to them.
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man?David Stone wrote:
Christians believe that Christianity is the only way to heaven. So why wouldn't they try to share that with people?
Yep, I understand why it's done. I just wish it was done a little less forcibly.
David Stone wrote:
I know. It sucks. As a Christian, I have many issues with how other Christians represent this faith in modern culture. They make the rest of us look bad. I don't go around forcing my religion down other people's throats.
Yes - you definitely don't In fact, to be honest, until today, I thought you'd be an atheist :-)
David Stone wrote:
And if someone isn't interested, I'm not going to try to talk to them.
They should all learn from you I say! :-) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New) -
Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
My heartfelt condolences for your terrible loss, and what you are going through because of it. :rose: :rose: My advice: Think about the wonderful person that he was, the cherished memories you have of him. Talk with about these things with others who share the loss. Share memories, keepsakes, and thoughts. Remind yourself of the wonder of his life, brief though it was in the scheme of things, but cherished by those who knew him. Remind yourself that though the closing chapter on his life on earth was so sad, the book of his life is full of what it means to be human - the sorrows and joys, the hopes and disappointments - and it meant so much to him to live that life, and means so much to those who remain to look back on it.
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espeir wrote:
then proceeded to say how balling up your emotions is the best way to help ignore tragedy rather than confront it.
Never once did I say that. Maybe you should stop assuming.
espeir wrote:
How is that comforting?
Read the whole post if it's not too much to ask. Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
Never once did I say that. Maybe you should stop assuming.
I'm not assuming. I read it. You said: "I find that focusing on other stuff is the only way to deal with it." i.e. Emotionally avoid the tragedy.
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
Read the whole post if it's not too much to ask.
Again I did. Programming is not a healthy way to deal with loss and your advice is very poor.
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code-frog wrote:
I exclude those because... I live in a vacuum.:-D
Great. I almost just spit water out all over my laptop. Thanks a lot Rex. ;P
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man?He-he :laugh:
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
You mean like that guy in the Soapbox the other day who said Jesus will beat the crap out of you if you don't believe in him
See...it's that type of Christian that I'm talking about that totally skews public perception of this faith. Not all Christians are like that. Unfortunately, there are enough of them. And they seem to be the most vocal about what they believe...:sigh
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man?David Stone wrote:
Not all Christians are like that.
I know. I have some Christian friends who are really cool - they just ignore the fact that I am not a Christian (some of them are a little shocked about my atheist beliefs, but they very nicely keep quiet about it) :-) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New) -
David Stone wrote:
Christians believe that Christianity is the only way to heaven. So why wouldn't they try to share that with people?
Yep, I understand why it's done. I just wish it was done a little less forcibly.
David Stone wrote:
I know. It sucks. As a Christian, I have many issues with how other Christians represent this faith in modern culture. They make the rest of us look bad. I don't go around forcing my religion down other people's throats.
Yes - you definitely don't In fact, to be honest, until today, I thought you'd be an atheist :-)
David Stone wrote:
And if someone isn't interested, I'm not going to try to talk to them.
They should all learn from you I say! :-) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New)Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
until today, I thought you'd be an atheist
Wow. Never had that response. ;P I'm just not very vocal about Christianity. There are far smarter men than myself who have said more about it in a more eloquent way than I ever could. If people ask me about it, I'll start talking with them, but I'm not going to start carrying around "Jesus is coming" on a sandwich board in public. :rolleyes:
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man? -
Josh Smith wrote:
Do you know if they have nachos in Hell?
I don't know about nachos, but they better have broadband, because if I am going to hell, I am taking my laptop with me. Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New)Yeah, need something to do during those long hot nights, I imagine...
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Jeremy Falcon wrote:
I know Nero had something to do with Roman times
How do you know? My point is obviously that most of the education (which you revere but apparently lack) that one gains in life is through others. We only know that Nero existed through writings and archeology...the same as Jesus. Yet you "know" that Nero existed, having only heard of his existence from others. You probably have not undertaken a life-long quest to prove that he existed.
I think most people Jesus was a man and he did once live, it's just that it's hard for some to swallow what he supposedly did. Firstly, the gospels were written long after Jesus lived--we're talking a couple hundred years. It's hard to take it as a historical non-fiction piece when looked at it in that light. If that's what you believe, that's fine with me. If people find comfort in the idea that there are aliens and flying pigs, I don't care. I just want people to be happy. Non-Christians get upset when the extreme Christians basically say, "Believe this or you will die and go to hell." Even that I find funny because of the different sects of Christianity (Catholic versus non-Catholic).
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Jeremy Falcon wrote:
I know Nero had something to do with Roman times
How do you know? My point is obviously that most of the education (which you revere but apparently lack) that one gains in life is through others. We only know that Nero existed through writings and archeology...the same as Jesus. Yet you "know" that Nero existed, having only heard of his existence from others. You probably have not undertaken a life-long quest to prove that he existed.
espeir wrote:
which you revere but apparently lack
This proves you are being stupid. Do not confuse (I'm sure it's difficult for you) not being the most educated in history with not being educated. In case you haven't noticed, there are plenty of fields of study. Also, do not confuse education with intelligence. I hope that's not too much to ask of you.
espeir wrote:
ou probably have not undertaken a life-long quest to prove that he existed.
This is bullshit. It's much easier to prove someone existed than to prove someone that did exist was in fact the son of God. I do believe a man named Jesus could've very well existed. I do not believe he was without sin and the son of God. Granted, it all comes down to "what's written" and what we choose to believe about it. Let's say Nero didn't really exist, well at least we are not basing religion and fundamental ways of current life on that. And, we can still take the lessons of history from that. We cannot do the same with Jesus being or not being the son of God. Jeremy Falcon
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
until today, I thought you'd be an atheist
Wow. Never had that response. ;P I'm just not very vocal about Christianity. There are far smarter men than myself who have said more about it in a more eloquent way than I ever could. If people ask me about it, I'll start talking with them, but I'm not going to start carrying around "Jesus is coming" on a sandwich board in public. :rolleyes:
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man?David Stone wrote:
If people ask me about it, I'll start talking with them, but I'm not going to start carrying around "Jesus is coming" on a sandwich board in public.
I think that's an excellent attitude :cool: Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New) -
I think most people Jesus was a man and he did once live, it's just that it's hard for some to swallow what he supposedly did. Firstly, the gospels were written long after Jesus lived--we're talking a couple hundred years. It's hard to take it as a historical non-fiction piece when looked at it in that light. If that's what you believe, that's fine with me. If people find comfort in the idea that there are aliens and flying pigs, I don't care. I just want people to be happy. Non-Christians get upset when the extreme Christians basically say, "Believe this or you will die and go to hell." Even that I find funny because of the different sects of Christianity (Catholic versus non-Catholic).
leckey wrote:
Even that I find funny because of the different sects of Christianity (Catholic versus non-Catholic).
Yeah, that's true too. Inter-religious debates are just as interesting to read. :laugh: Jeremy Falcon
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Josh Smith wrote:
Do you know if they have nachos in Hell?
I don't know about nachos, but they better have broadband, because if I am going to hell, I am taking my laptop with me. Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New) -
David Stone wrote:
Christians believe that Christianity is the only way to heaven. So why wouldn't they try to share that with people?
Yep, I understand why it's done. I just wish it was done a little less forcibly.
David Stone wrote:
I know. It sucks. As a Christian, I have many issues with how other Christians represent this faith in modern culture. They make the rest of us look bad. I don't go around forcing my religion down other people's throats.
Yes - you definitely don't In fact, to be honest, until today, I thought you'd be an atheist :-)
David Stone wrote:
And if someone isn't interested, I'm not going to try to talk to them.
They should all learn from you I say! :-) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New)Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
They should all learn from you I say!
I guess you have to temper Christians just like everything else. Some people use Linux and it's just a tool, other people have to convert the world to Linux. Some people enjoy watching a sport and others get consumed by the sport and start fights in the stands and other craziness. David and I know what we believe. It will never be taken from us. It's written upon us. However, he and I both are able to pick the context for discussing it (and almost every believer I know is). You won't see me with the fish all over my car, wearing funky bracelets or holding signs. I won't even wear a cross. If you cannot tell what I believe by how I act then I'm not living in a way that is consistent with how I believe and what I've read. It's that simple for me. Even now, you are not asking David and I to share a single thing with you about what we believe and neither of us will. The context isn't right. Both David and I think that if you want to ask questions of either of us you'll probably find email a better way to go. We don't need to rub anything in your face because both of us agree we'd hate someone rubbing it in ours. So instead, while in the lounge we do what other loungers do. Talk about mostly tech-related things and enjoy hanging out with our peers.:)
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool: Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now. People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[
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Jeremy Falcon wrote:
Never once did I say that. Maybe you should stop assuming.
I'm not assuming. I read it. You said: "I find that focusing on other stuff is the only way to deal with it." i.e. Emotionally avoid the tragedy.
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
Read the whole post if it's not too much to ask.
Again I did. Programming is not a healthy way to deal with loss and your advice is very poor.
espeir wrote:
Emotionally avoid the tragedy.
That's your interpretation of it which is wrong. It's not referring to the particular incident at all, but general advice for years later. I know you think you're always right, so why bother explaining the simple stuff. And I'm sure you know what I meant better than I did.
espeir wrote:
Again I did. Programming is not a healthy way to deal with loss and your advice is very poor.
The only thing that's poor here is your comprehension. Jeremy Falcon
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It's amazing to think how awesome the human body really is. It's so resilient. It's meant to move, but most people don't and they don't eat nutritiously. Try running a car for 80+ years without oil, it just won't happen. Jeremy Falcon
Wanna talk about faith? I think you are taking your life in your own hands by eating so much of the junk out their today. It takes *real* faith to eat at McDonald's as that stuff really could kill you.:-D
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
Welcome to CP in your language. Post the unicode version in My CP Blog [ ^ ] now.People who don't understand how awesome Firefox is have never used CPhog[^]CPhog. The act of using CPhog (Firefox)[^] alone doesn't make Firefox cool. It opens your eyes to the possibilities and then you start looking for other things like CPhog (Firefox)[^] and your eyes are suddenly open to all sorts of useful things all through Firefox. - (Self Quote)
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
until today, I thought you'd be an atheist
Wow. Never had that response. ;P I'm just not very vocal about Christianity. There are far smarter men than myself who have said more about it in a more eloquent way than I ever could. If people ask me about it, I'll start talking with them, but I'm not going to start carrying around "Jesus is coming" on a sandwich board in public. :rolleyes:
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man?