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Hell on a budget

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  • J Josh Smith

    CleaKO wrote:

    Maybe Chuck Norris could just kick everyone for eternity for that matter.

    Chuck Norris is too pricey for a "discount version" of Hell! :)

    :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

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    Todd Smith
    wrote on last edited by
    #29

    Cuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

    Todd Smith

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    • J Josh Smith

      Andy Brummer wrote:

      Give everyone hacked versions of VB4 and let them into heaven as soon as they write a bug free C++ compiler.

      Oh, you are evil! :suss:

      :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

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      Andy Brummer
      wrote on last edited by
      #30

      Oh, here's another. Finish all the projects on source forge.


      I would teach the world that science is not about truth, but is about trying to get closer to the truth. - Kathy Sykes

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      • T Todd Smith

        Cuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

        Todd Smith

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        J Offline
        Josh Smith
        wrote on last edited by
        #31

        Todd Smith wrote:

        Cuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

        And then he told his friends, "I knew she was in there."

        :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

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        • A Andy Brummer

          Oh, here's another. Finish all the projects on source forge.


          I would teach the world that science is not about truth, but is about trying to get closer to the truth. - Kathy Sykes

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          J Offline
          Josh Smith
          wrote on last edited by
          #32

          Andy Brummer wrote:

          Finish all the projects on source forge.

          :(( :sigh: X| :suss: :| :wtf: :omg: :^) :doh:

          :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

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          • J Jon Sagara

            Josh Smith wrote:

            Hell on a budget

            Josh Smith wrote:

            What might your design be?

            Texas.

            Jon Sagara This is the stuff we'll drink on special occasions. To paraphrase my father-in-law, this is the kind of wine that results in kids. -- A friend Blog | Site | Articles

            L Offline
            L Offline
            lost in transition
            wrote on last edited by
            #33

            California


            God Bless, Jason

            DavidCrow wrote:

            It would not affect me or my family one iota. My wife and I are in charge of when the tv is on, and what it displays. I do not need any external input for that.

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            • A Andy Brummer

              Oh, here's another. Finish all the projects on source forge.


              I would teach the world that science is not about truth, but is about trying to get closer to the truth. - Kathy Sykes

              L Offline
              L Offline
              lost in transition
              wrote on last edited by
              #34

              :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:


              God Bless, Jason

              DavidCrow wrote:

              It would not affect me or my family one iota. My wife and I are in charge of when the tv is on, and what it displays. I do not need any external input for that.

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              • J Josh Smith

                Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                L Offline
                L Offline
                lost in transition
                wrote on last edited by
                #35

                Josh Smith wrote:

                What might your design be?

                Delete CP. And only allow AOL over dial-up


                God Bless, Jason

                DavidCrow wrote:

                It would not affect me or my family one iota. My wife and I are in charge of when the tv is on, and what it displays. I do not need any external input for that.

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • L leckey 0

                  Since I am Jewish, I don't believe in Hell. Now if I were to design heaven I think it would look something like the beach...

                  __________________ Bob is my homeboy.

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                  L Offline
                  lost in transition
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #36

                  I didn't know Judaism didn't believe in Hell.


                  God Bless, Jason

                  DavidCrow wrote:

                  It would not affect me or my family one iota. My wife and I are in charge of when the tv is on, and what it displays. I do not need any external input for that.

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                  • J Josh Smith

                    Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                    :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

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                    D Offline
                    Duncan Edwards Jones
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #37

                    That actually sounds remarkably like a retreat.

                    '--8<------------------------ Ex Datis: Duncan Jones Merrion Computing Ltd

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                    • J Jim Crafton

                      Josh Smith wrote:

                      then beats you until you start walking again

                      With what? Remember we're on a tight budget! Also where would you put Hell? Have you considered zoning issues? The whole thing sounds a bit half-baked to me. I urge to consider Hell more thoroughly, and return when you have a proper plan in place, complete with a PowerPoint presentation. Also, don't forget to blog about this, so we can all participate in a Web 2.0 compliant manner.

                      ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

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                      Graham Shanks
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #38

                      Jim Crafton wrote:

                      have a proper plan in place, complete with a PowerPoint presentation. Also, don't forget to blog about this

                      Now that is hell - but luckily Powerpoint is too expensive for our budget and we cannot afford the hosting fees

                      Graham My signature is not black, just a very, very dark blue

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                      • J Josh Smith

                        Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                        :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

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                        S Offline
                        Steve McLenithan
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #39

                        Easy. The only food/liquid available is Chicken Ramen Noodles w/ broth. No switching up the flavors, just chicken. :P

                        Found on Bash.org [erno] hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

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                        • S Steve McLenithan

                          Easy. The only food/liquid available is Chicken Ramen Noodles w/ broth. No switching up the flavors, just chicken. :P

                          Found on Bash.org [erno] hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

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                          Josh Smith
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #40

                          Steve McLenithan wrote:

                          Easy. The only food/liquid available is Chicken Ramen Noodles w/ broth. No switching up the flavors, just chicken.

                          That sounds very similar to the diet of many guys in college. :suss:

                          :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

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                          • J Josh Smith

                            Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                            :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                            J Offline
                            J Offline
                            Joe Woodbury
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #41

                            Just have them listen to my kids scream at each other. Add having Digimon playing the same episode over and over and you get worse than hell. Filling a car with gas in the middle of Nebraska in January at four in the morning with wind blowing snow at 30 miles per hour and a wind chill of about 30 below.

                            Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. - P.J. O'Rourke

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                            • L Lost User

                              Graham Bradshaw wrote:

                              Install Real Networks software and force people to use it.

                              :wtf: My gawd, show some mercy!!! :wtf:

                              "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson

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                              Phil J Pearson
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #42

                              Better worse yet: make them document my code using a PC running Real Networks software, Norton Internet Security and Adobe Reader!

                              Phil


                              The opinions expressed in this post are not necessarily those of the author, especially if you find them impolite, inaccurate or inflammatory.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • J Josh Smith

                                Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                                :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                P Offline
                                P Offline
                                Paul Watson
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #43

                                A billion billion tiny little rooms. Too small to stand up in, too narrow to lie down in. The walls and roof are freezing to the touch, the floor is just this side of scalding hot. And 24/7 Mariah Carey played by a Chinese orchestra and sung by Justin Timerlake.

                                regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa

                                Shog9 wrote:

                                And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...

                                J 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • J Josh Smith

                                  Todd Smith wrote:

                                  Cuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

                                  And then he told his friends, "I knew she was in there."

                                  :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

                                  P Offline
                                  P Offline
                                  Paul Watson
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #44

                                  And because it was Chuck Norris, she enjoyed it.

                                  regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa

                                  Shog9 wrote:

                                  And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...

                                  J 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • J Josh Smith

                                    Jim Crafton wrote:

                                    Or working in a cube/office

                                    Or being in the womb...

                                    :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

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                                    P Offline
                                    Paul Watson
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #45

                                    Dude, pray your mother doesn't read you describing her womb as a cubicle.

                                    regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa

                                    Shog9 wrote:

                                    And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...

                                    B 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • L lost in transition

                                      I didn't know Judaism didn't believe in Hell.


                                      God Bless, Jason

                                      DavidCrow wrote:

                                      It would not affect me or my family one iota. My wife and I are in charge of when the tv is on, and what it displays. I do not need any external input for that.

                                      P Offline
                                      P Offline
                                      Paul Watson
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #46

                                      Hey, get behind me in the conversion line buddy, I was here first. Jesus, some people!

                                      regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa

                                      Shog9 wrote:

                                      And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • B Bobby T

                                        multiple long lines going into the ocean. the person at the front of the line gets hundreds of cuts all over his body from the person behind him, then is thrown into the salt water. they then have to swim through the pain to the shore crawl through the sand while it fill there wounds then get back into line. if anyone resists they have to watch listin to kelly clarkson while watching my super sweet 16.

                                        PEACE <3

                                        P Offline
                                        P Offline
                                        Paul Watson
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #47

                                        I was thinking it didn't sound too bad, then you got to the Kelly Clarkson bit. Argh! (I'd always go for a good swim in the sea if I cut myself, had a graze or anything like that. The ocean water heals wonderfully.)

                                        regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa

                                        Shog9 wrote:

                                        And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...

                                        B 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • J Jon Sagara

                                          Josh Smith wrote:

                                          Hell on a budget

                                          Josh Smith wrote:

                                          What might your design be?

                                          Texas.

                                          Jon Sagara This is the stuff we'll drink on special occasions. To paraphrase my father-in-law, this is the kind of wine that results in kids. -- A friend Blog | Site | Articles

                                          P Offline
                                          P Offline
                                          Paul Watson
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #48

                                          :laugh: I've never been to Texas but I liked that you used one, single word. Kudos points for that.

                                          regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa

                                          Shog9 wrote:

                                          And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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