Hell on a budget
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Graham Bradshaw wrote:
Install Real Networks software and force people to use it.
:wtf: My gawd, show some mercy!!! :wtf:
"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson
Better worse yet: make them document my code using a PC running Real Networks software, Norton Internet Security and Adobe Reader!
Phil
The opinions expressed in this post are not necessarily those of the author, especially if you find them impolite, inaccurate or inflammatory.
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Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.
:josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.
A billion billion tiny little rooms. Too small to stand up in, too narrow to lie down in. The walls and roof are freezing to the touch, the floor is just this side of scalding hot. And 24/7 Mariah Carey played by a Chinese orchestra and sung by Justin Timerlake.
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
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Todd Smith wrote:
Cuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
And then he told his friends, "I knew she was in there."
:josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.
And because it was Chuck Norris, she enjoyed it.
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
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Jim Crafton wrote:
Or working in a cube/office
Or being in the womb...
:josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.
Dude, pray your mother doesn't read you describing her womb as a cubicle.
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
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I didn't know Judaism didn't believe in Hell.
God Bless, Jason
DavidCrow wrote:
It would not affect me or my family one iota. My wife and I are in charge of when the tv is on, and what it displays. I do not need any external input for that.
Hey, get behind me in the conversion line buddy, I was here first. Jesus, some people!
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
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multiple long lines going into the ocean. the person at the front of the line gets hundreds of cuts all over his body from the person behind him, then is thrown into the salt water. they then have to swim through the pain to the shore crawl through the sand while it fill there wounds then get back into line. if anyone resists they have to watch listin to kelly clarkson while watching my super sweet 16.
PEACE <3
I was thinking it didn't sound too bad, then you got to the Kelly Clarkson bit. Argh! (I'd always go for a good swim in the sea if I cut myself, had a graze or anything like that. The ocean water heals wonderfully.)
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
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:laugh: I've never been to Texas but I liked that you used one, single word. Kudos points for that.
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
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Easy. The only food/liquid available is Chicken Ramen Noodles w/ broth. No switching up the flavors, just chicken. :P
Found on Bash.org [erno] hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.
*paul hides his bulk pack of chicken ramen noodles* Eh, err, oi! Back off Satan, that's my stash of ramen noodles damnit!
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
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Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.
:josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.
BTW I think there is a book or religious cult who believe in your vision of hell. I vaguely remember reading once about a chap who toiled up a mountain for all eternity carrying a rock on his back. I think little men would hurl stones at him from the top which regularly hit him, knocking his rock back down the mountain. When he reached the top they kicked the rock back down, he trudged back down and started again. Frankly I think my future kids should do some manual labour like that to give them a bit of backbone...
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
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Easy. The only food/liquid available is Chicken Ramen Noodles w/ broth. No switching up the flavors, just chicken. :P
Found on Bash.org [erno] hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.
Beef and salt. Every other label is a combination of those 2.
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And because it was Chuck Norris, she enjoyed it.
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
Paul Watson wrote:
And because it was Chuck Norris, she enjoyed it.
Actually she didn't enjoy it at all. Chuck Norris just stared at her until she begged him to continue eating her limbs. :-D
:josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.
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A billion billion tiny little rooms. Too small to stand up in, too narrow to lie down in. The walls and roof are freezing to the touch, the floor is just this side of scalding hot. And 24/7 Mariah Carey played by a Chinese orchestra and sung by Justin Timerlake.
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
Paul Watson wrote:
And 24/7 Mariah Carey played by a Chinese orchestra and sung by Justin Timerlake.
:josh explodes grenade next to head: Ahh, much better. :D
:josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.
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Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.
:josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.
Put them in a 10x10 cube and tell them they had to build software with contradictory requirements, an irrational schedule, and threaten to outsource their jobs to Israel if they don't perform to expectations. Oh shit...
Software Zen:
delete this; -
Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.
:josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.
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BTW I think there is a book or religious cult who believe in your vision of hell. I vaguely remember reading once about a chap who toiled up a mountain for all eternity carrying a rock on his back. I think little men would hurl stones at him from the top which regularly hit him, knocking his rock back down the mountain. When he reached the top they kicked the rock back down, he trudged back down and started again. Frankly I think my future kids should do some manual labour like that to give them a bit of backbone...
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
-
Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.
:josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.
Glad you're taking the initiative. Have the functional specifications on my desk by Monday.
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Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.
:josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.
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BTW I think there is a book or religious cult who believe in your vision of hell. I vaguely remember reading once about a chap who toiled up a mountain for all eternity carrying a rock on his back. I think little men would hurl stones at him from the top which regularly hit him, knocking his rock back down the mountain. When he reached the top they kicked the rock back down, he trudged back down and started again. Frankly I think my future kids should do some manual labour like that to give them a bit of backbone...
regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa
Shog9 wrote:
And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...
-
Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.
:josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.