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Hell on a budget

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  • J Josh Smith

    Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

    :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

    G Offline
    G Offline
    Gary R Wheeler
    wrote on last edited by
    #54

    Put them in a 10x10 cube and tell them they had to build software with contradictory requirements, an irrational schedule, and threaten to outsource their jobs to Israel if they don't perform to expectations. Oh shit...


    Software Zen: delete this;

    Fold With Us![^]

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    • J Josh Smith

      Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

      :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

      J Offline
      J Offline
      Joan M
      wrote on last edited by
      #55

      Make everybody to program using VB...

      E 1 Reply Last reply
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      • P Paul Watson

        BTW I think there is a book or religious cult who believe in your vision of hell. I vaguely remember reading once about a chap who toiled up a mountain for all eternity carrying a rock on his back. I think little men would hurl stones at him from the top which regularly hit him, knocking his rock back down the mountain. When he reached the top they kicked the rock back down, he trudged back down and started again. Frankly I think my future kids should do some manual labour like that to give them a bit of backbone...

        regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa

        Shog9 wrote:

        And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...

        J Offline
        J Offline
        JDL EPM
        wrote on last edited by
        #56

        That's Sisyphus (from Greek mythology).

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        • J Josh Smith

          Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

          :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

          M Offline
          M Offline
          Mark_Wallace
          wrote on last edited by
          #57

          Glad you're taking the initiative. Have the functional specifications on my desk by Monday.

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          • J Josh Smith

            Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

            :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

            V Offline
            V Offline
            V 0
            wrote on last edited by
            #58

            Everybody is a software developer and the only lookup source the company doesn't block is MSDN[^]. :laugh:


            V. Stop smoking so you can: enjoy longer the money you save.

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            • P Paul Watson

              BTW I think there is a book or religious cult who believe in your vision of hell. I vaguely remember reading once about a chap who toiled up a mountain for all eternity carrying a rock on his back. I think little men would hurl stones at him from the top which regularly hit him, knocking his rock back down the mountain. When he reached the top they kicked the rock back down, he trudged back down and started again. Frankly I think my future kids should do some manual labour like that to give them a bit of backbone...

              regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa

              Shog9 wrote:

              And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...

              J Offline
              J Offline
              JMOdom
              wrote on last edited by
              #59

              Paul Watson wrote:

              Frankly I think my future kids should do some manual labour like that to give them a bit of backbone...

              :-D Why? Were they born without one? :laugh:

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              • J Josh Smith

                Suppose you were tasked with the job of designing Hell (whether you believe in Hell or not is irrelevant). Also imagine that you are not given a very large budget for the project. What might your design be? Here's one idea... Everyone who enters Hell is given a very heavy stone. They are then forced to endlessly walk up and down huge mountains in the blistering sun, freezing cold snow, etc. No water, no food, no rest, no clothes (remember, we're on a tight budget here!). If you stop, someone (perhaps cheap migrant laborers) gives you an additional stone to carry and then beats you until you start walking again. Maybe every once in a while one of the cheap laborers kicks you in the face, just to make your day that much worse.

                :josh: My WPF Blog[^] FYI - Bob is a scarecrow who keeps Chuck Norris away from CodeProject.

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                E Offline
                ednrgc
                wrote on last edited by
                #60

                Simple: #include int main() { cout << "Welcome to Hell!" << endl; return 0; } It's run using the following command line: hell >> /dev/null

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                • J Joan M

                  Make everybody to program using VB...

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                  ednrgc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #61

                  brilliant!!!

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                  • P Paul Watson

                    I was thinking it didn't sound too bad, then you got to the Kelly Clarkson bit. Argh! (I'd always go for a good swim in the sea if I cut myself, had a graze or anything like that. The ocean water heals wonderfully.)

                    regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa

                    Shog9 wrote:

                    And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...

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                    B Offline
                    Bradml
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #62

                    Paul Watson wrote:

                    (I'd always go for a good swim in the sea if I cut myself, had a graze or anything like that. The ocean water heals wonderfully.)

                    Plus you have the sharks to lick you wounds clean...

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                    • P Paul Watson

                      Dude, pray your mother doesn't read you describing her womb as a cubicle.

                      regards, Paul Watson Ireland & South Africa

                      Shog9 wrote:

                      And with that, Paul closed his browser, sipped his herbal tea, fixed the flower in his hair, and smiled brightly at the multitude of cute, furry animals flocking around the grassy hillside where he sat coding Ruby on his Mac...

                      B Offline
                      B Offline
                      Bradml
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #63

                      HAHAHA, Paul That was sharp.

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