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Did I read that sign right?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • E Ed Poore

    Did I read that sign right: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below In a launderette: Automatic washing machines; please remove all your clothes when the light goes out In a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain Notice in a health food shop: Closed due to illness Spotted in a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor Notice in a farmer's field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.) From GreyMatter

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    J Offline
    Joe 2
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    Notice in a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. Often seen in remote villages and farms: DEAD SLOW CHILDREN. From our work break room, posted by the cantten manageress Carol. PLEASE RETURN ALL CUPS AND PLATES TO THE CANTEEN CAROL! To which someone added 'YES CAROL YOU SLACKER.' National Highways : SLOW MEN AT WORK

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    • V Vasudevan Deepak Kumar

      In our city, in houses which have dogs, there is a board called "DOGS BEWARE".

      Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage Tech Gossips

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      Joe 2
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      There are a number of guard dog signs like this too: "The (insert dog breed here) can make it to the fence in 3 seconds. Can you?" They usually include a drawing of the dog with blood on its mouth for dramatic effect

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      • J Joe 2

        Notice in a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. Often seen in remote villages and farms: DEAD SLOW CHILDREN. From our work break room, posted by the cantten manageress Carol. PLEASE RETURN ALL CUPS AND PLATES TO THE CANTEEN CAROL! To which someone added 'YES CAROL YOU SLACKER.' National Highways : SLOW MEN AT WORK

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        Vasudevan Deepak Kumar
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        SwatCats wrote:

        National Highways : SLOW MEN AT WORK

        We can slightly change the signboard displayed there ("Men at work. Go Slow"). It can better read as ("Men at slow. Go Work"). The latter should indicate that the work has too much of bureocratic red tape interferences. So it is expected to be slow. So go and see your business instead of loitering and watching over here. :)

        Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage Tech Gossips

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        • E Ed Poore

          Did I read that sign right: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below In a launderette: Automatic washing machines; please remove all your clothes when the light goes out In a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain Notice in a health food shop: Closed due to illness Spotted in a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor Notice in a farmer's field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.) From GreyMatter

          V Offline
          V Offline
          vijay_aroli
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          I received a mail just a couple of hours back. the mail had a picture of an election banner. On the banner, it was written as below. "LONG LEAVE OUR BE LOVE LEADER". i wish i could upload that pic somewhere and have others to see it. its really funny. :)

          Regards, Vijay. God may not give us what we 'want', but he surely gives us what we 'need'.

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          • V vijay_aroli

            I received a mail just a couple of hours back. the mail had a picture of an election banner. On the banner, it was written as below. "LONG LEAVE OUR BE LOVE LEADER". i wish i could upload that pic somewhere and have others to see it. its really funny. :)

            Regards, Vijay. God may not give us what we 'want', but he surely gives us what we 'need'.

            V Offline
            V Offline
            Vasudevan Deepak Kumar
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            A close resembling moral statment: God is Nowhere God is Now Here (See the striked space between W and H) :)

            Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage Tech Gossips

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            • E Ed Poore

              Did I read that sign right: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below In a launderette: Automatic washing machines; please remove all your clothes when the light goes out In a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain Notice in a health food shop: Closed due to illness Spotted in a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor Notice in a farmer's field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.) From GreyMatter

              B Offline
              B Offline
              Bijesh
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              I once saw a small poster announcing : "Indian Food.. Now in Cannes!".. Luckily there were some pictures of cans with "Dhal", "Curry" etc written on them, so there was no confusion...

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              • E Ed Poore

                Did I read that sign right: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below In a launderette: Automatic washing machines; please remove all your clothes when the light goes out In a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain Notice in a health food shop: Closed due to illness Spotted in a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor Notice in a farmer's field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.) From GreyMatter

                J Offline
                J Offline
                James R Twine
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                One of my personal favorites: Found on the back of a no-name brand toilet tank tablet:

                The ingredients in this product are non-toxic to both
                children and animals.  However, neither should be allowed to drink from the toilet bowl.

                :wtf:    Peace!

                -=- James
                Please rate this message - let me know if I helped or not! * * * If you think it costs a lot to do it right, just wait until you find out how much it costs to do it wrong!
                Avoid driving a vehicle taller than you and remember that Professional Driver on Closed Course does not mean your Dumb Ass on a Public Road!
                See DeleteFXPFiles

                E 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • V Vasudevan Deepak Kumar

                  A close resembling moral statment: God is Nowhere God is Now Here (See the striked space between W and H) :)

                  Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage Tech Gossips

                  P Offline
                  P Offline
                  Paresh Chitte
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  Even IMPOSSIBLE says I M POSSIBLE. Regards, Paresh.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • V vijay_aroli

                    I received a mail just a couple of hours back. the mail had a picture of an election banner. On the banner, it was written as below. "LONG LEAVE OUR BE LOVE LEADER". i wish i could upload that pic somewhere and have others to see it. its really funny. :)

                    Regards, Vijay. God may not give us what we 'want', but he surely gives us what we 'need'.

                    J Offline
                    J Offline
                    JacquesDP
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    I received a mail at the company I work for, sent by the driver. It Read: Please close door when going to smoke, people complained of smoke vaporising building :laugh:

                    No matter how long he who laughs last laughs, he who laughs first has a head start!

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • J James R Twine

                      One of my personal favorites: Found on the back of a no-name brand toilet tank tablet:

                      The ingredients in this product are non-toxic to both
                      children and animals.  However, neither should be allowed to drink from the toilet bowl.

                      :wtf:    Peace!

                      -=- James
                      Please rate this message - let me know if I helped or not! * * * If you think it costs a lot to do it right, just wait until you find out how much it costs to do it wrong!
                      Avoid driving a vehicle taller than you and remember that Professional Driver on Closed Course does not mean your Dumb Ass on a Public Road!
                      See DeleteFXPFiles

                      E Offline
                      E Offline
                      Ed Poore
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      It's like one from a local shooting ground: Our aim is to keep these toilets clean.  Your aim will help.

                      D 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • E Ed Poore

                        Did I read that sign right: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below In a launderette: Automatic washing machines; please remove all your clothes when the light goes out In a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain Notice in a health food shop: Closed due to illness Spotted in a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor Notice in a farmer's field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.) From GreyMatter

                        E Offline
                        E Offline
                        El Corazon
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        Ed.Poore wrote:

                        For anyone who has children and doesn't know it

                        Luckily for the Big V.... :-D

                        _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • E Ed Poore

                          It's like one from a local shooting ground: Our aim is to keep these toilets clean.  Your aim will help.

                          D Offline
                          D Offline
                          Dan Neely
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #14

                          I prefer a shorter version: We aim to please. You aim too, please.

                          -- You have to explain to them [VB coders] what you mean by "typed". their first response is likely to be something like, "Of course my code is typed. Do you think i magically project it onto the screen with the power of my mind?" --- John Simmons / outlaw programmer

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                          • E Ed Poore

                            Did I read that sign right: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below In a launderette: Automatic washing machines; please remove all your clothes when the light goes out In a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain Notice in a health food shop: Closed due to illness Spotted in a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor Notice in a farmer's field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.) From GreyMatter

                            S Offline
                            S Offline
                            Steve Mayfield
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            In an antique store window: "All new inventory" Steve

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • E Ed Poore

                              Did I read that sign right: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below In a launderette: Automatic washing machines; please remove all your clothes when the light goes out In a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain Notice in a health food shop: Closed due to illness Spotted in a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor Notice in a farmer's field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.) From GreyMatter

                              S Offline
                              S Offline
                              skornel0
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #16

                              My all time favorite. When I was in the army, the latrine had a sign that read: Do not throw cigarette butts in the urinal. And someone else added: It makes them soggy and hard to light.

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