Top 10 sings you are a Fundamentalist Christian
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THIS is the way and the truth: Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster[^] Everything else is patently nonsense.
digital man wrote:
THIS is the way and the truth:
No, The Church of All Worlds is: "Come in and sit a spell, and get to know each other in this sacred space. We cast the circle here to give us the chance to practice one of the core values in CAW - growing closer; the development of an intimate spiritual family - what we call the Tribe of CAW, or the grok flock. So gather round the fire, take a sip of cool, clear, life giving water when the chalice passes your way, and share your life, your loves, your joys and sorrows, knowing that you are surrounded by Water Kin." (When they talk about sharing your loves, they mean exactly that!)
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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That was a little joke. :)
Often so true in the soapbox.
I didn't get any requirements for the signature
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That was a little joke. :)
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My idea of humor (true): A t-shirt on a biker at the HOG (Harley Owners Group) convention in Sydney (no - the other one, in Canada) read: If you can read this, the bitch fell off.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
:laugh::laugh::laugh: That's a good one. I'll have to keep an eye out for that since we get a lot of biker's cruising by here during the summer.
"The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon
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Oakman wrote:
If you can read this, the bitch fell off.
Wouldn't that be insulting to the "bitch" and thus insult your delicate humor sensibilities? ;)
Mike Mullikin wrote:
Wouldn't that be insulting to the "bitch" and thus insult your delicate humor sensibilities
Not if it were worn by a woman. ;) I must admit I am much more likely to peruse t-shirts worn by women. :-O
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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It is not hilarious, I admit that. But it funny because it points out the absurdity of being a fundamentalist or taking your religion too seriously. Most people, especially programmers who are good at logical thinking, know that God (if she exists) granted us the ability to reason but didn't give us the tools to know the answers to the big questions. We'll never know exactly how we got here or why were here. You can search your whole life but you'll never find the answer. That is what being human is all about. If someone really believed 100% that they were going to spend eternity in heaven then all this bullshit would go away and they would just be sitting around smoking dope all day praying to die so that they could be in heaven...
I didn't get any requirements for the signature
ToddHileHoffer wrote:
Most people, especially programmers who are good at logical thinking,
Logic always depends on a priori postulates. If you start off by postulating that the moon is made of green cheese you can create a very logical train of thought which involves giant mice living on the dark side of the moon. Rational thought is what is needed, and in my experience, programmers are more likely to be irrational that many other professions. Except for me, of course.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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ToddHileHoffer wrote:
Most people, especially programmers who are good at logical thinking,
Logic always depends on a priori postulates. If you start off by postulating that the moon is made of green cheese you can create a very logical train of thought which involves giant mice living on the dark side of the moon. Rational thought is what is needed, and in my experience, programmers are more likely to be irrational that many other professions. Except for me, of course.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Rational thought of course also depends on a priori postulates, the usefulness of rationality being one of the more common and less controversial. What is needed is thought based on a conciously acknowledged set of genuinely fundamental beliefs that are consistent with reality and time invariant. Thank God he has provided everything necessary for just such a system of beliefs.
"The secret of happiness is freedom, and the secret of freedom, courage." Thucydides (B.C. 460-400)
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digital man wrote:
Oh come now: if that had been about muslims you'd have laughed.
Could be, I won't claim I am perfect. But my objection to it is the substitution of insults for humor. You can see, by my tongue-lashing thread which isn't hard to find, that it's not a matter of my not finding some Christians and their short-sightedness very funny. In the long run, I find most true believers hilarious - and that includes (but is not limited to) atheists, christians, mormons, muslims, jeffersonians ;) , and hindus.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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Rational thought of course also depends on a priori postulates, the usefulness of rationality being one of the more common and less controversial. What is needed is thought based on a conciously acknowledged set of genuinely fundamental beliefs that are consistent with reality and time invariant. Thank God he has provided everything necessary for just such a system of beliefs.
"The secret of happiness is freedom, and the secret of freedom, courage." Thucydides (B.C. 460-400)
Matthew Faithfull wrote:
What is needed is thought based on a conciously acknowledged set of genuinely fundamental beliefs that are consistent with reality and time invariant.
well said
Matthew Faithfull wrote:
Thank God he has provided everything necessary for just such a system of beliefs.
For you? Sure. For me? Not so much.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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Matthew Faithfull wrote:
What is needed is thought based on a conciously acknowledged set of genuinely fundamental beliefs that are consistent with reality and time invariant.
well said
Matthew Faithfull wrote:
Thank God he has provided everything necessary for just such a system of beliefs.
For you? Sure. For me? Not so much.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
For you?
yep.
Oakman wrote:
For me? Not so much.
now that is sad.
Mike - typical white guy. The USA does have universal healthcare, but you have to pay for it. D'oh. Thomas Mann - "Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." The NYT - my leftist brochure. Calling an illegal alien an “undocumented immigrant” is like calling a drug dealer an “unlicensed pharmacist”. God doesn't believe in atheists, therefore they don't exist.
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Oakman wrote:
For you?
yep.
Oakman wrote:
For me? Not so much.
now that is sad.
Mike - typical white guy. The USA does have universal healthcare, but you have to pay for it. D'oh. Thomas Mann - "Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." The NYT - my leftist brochure. Calling an illegal alien an “undocumented immigrant” is like calling a drug dealer an “unlicensed pharmacist”. God doesn't believe in atheists, therefore they don't exist.
Mike Gaskey wrote:
yep.
Now, that is sad.
Mike Gaskey wrote:
now that is sad.
For me? Not so much. Big world, innit?
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Mike Gaskey wrote:
yep.
Now, that is sad.
Mike Gaskey wrote:
now that is sad.
For me? Not so much. Big world, innit?
Vincent Reynolds wrote:
Big world, innit?
and obviously accommodates all types.
Mike - typical white guy. The USA does have universal healthcare, but you have to pay for it. D'oh. Thomas Mann - "Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." The NYT - my leftist brochure. Calling an illegal alien an “undocumented immigrant” is like calling a drug dealer an “unlicensed pharmacist”. God doesn't believe in atheists, therefore they don't exist.
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10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 9 - You feel insulted and 'dehumanized' when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. 7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the 'atrocities' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' including women, children, and trees! 6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. 4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most 'tolerant' and 'loving.' 3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in 'tongues' may be all the evidence you need to 'prove' Christianity. 2 - You define 0.01% as a 'high success rate' when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. 1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
I didn't get any requirements for the signature
ToddHileHoffer wrote:
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
I've found the same applicable to many fundamentalists about their own books.
Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.
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THIS is the way and the truth: Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster[^] Everything else is patently nonsense.
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Oakman wrote:
For you?
yep.
Oakman wrote:
For me? Not so much.
now that is sad.
Mike - typical white guy. The USA does have universal healthcare, but you have to pay for it. D'oh. Thomas Mann - "Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." The NYT - my leftist brochure. Calling an illegal alien an “undocumented immigrant” is like calling a drug dealer an “unlicensed pharmacist”. God doesn't believe in atheists, therefore they don't exist.
Mike Gaskey wrote:
yep.
That's great!
Mike Gaskey wrote:
now that is sad.
Once upon a time (when I was young and green behind the ears) I was a lay preacher in the Methodist Church, so you can't say it's for lack of looking. But I have yet to see evidence that God, omnipotent, omniscient, and everlasting would really care about whether I ate fish on Friday, or made love to a woman outside of marriage, or didn't give ten percent of my gross income to the local priests, or - most importantly - that any other man on earth has been empowered to tell me what God wants me to do. Indeed, I have this sneaking suspicion that whether it's a backwoods fundie like Illion or the Pope in his golden throne, when they start telling me that God shared the secret of what to do and what not to do with them, it's all about them, not about God.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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Mike Gaskey wrote:
yep.
That's great!
Mike Gaskey wrote:
now that is sad.
Once upon a time (when I was young and green behind the ears) I was a lay preacher in the Methodist Church, so you can't say it's for lack of looking. But I have yet to see evidence that God, omnipotent, omniscient, and everlasting would really care about whether I ate fish on Friday, or made love to a woman outside of marriage, or didn't give ten percent of my gross income to the local priests, or - most importantly - that any other man on earth has been empowered to tell me what God wants me to do. Indeed, I have this sneaking suspicion that whether it's a backwoods fundie like Illion or the Pope in his golden throne, when they start telling me that God shared the secret of what to do and what not to do with them, it's all about them, not about God.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
I was a lay preacher in the Methodist Church, so you can't say it's for lack of looking. But I have yet to see evidence that God, omnipotent, omniscient, and everlasting would really care about whether I ate fish on Friday, or made love to a woman outside of marriage, or didn't give ten percent of my gross income to the local priests, or - most importantly - that any other man on earth has been empowered to tell me what God wants me to do.
i went to catholic school (and i grew up on a farm...im so typical) i have to agree. what i really found is the deeper and more involved one got with a certain denomination the more and more you have to deny all other possibilities so you can climb deeper into the well. it is a very "us" versus "them" mentality.
----------------------------------------------------------- "When I first saw it, I just thought that you really, really enjoyed programming in java." - Leslie Sanford
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Oakman wrote:
I was a lay preacher in the Methodist Church, so you can't say it's for lack of looking. But I have yet to see evidence that God, omnipotent, omniscient, and everlasting would really care about whether I ate fish on Friday, or made love to a woman outside of marriage, or didn't give ten percent of my gross income to the local priests, or - most importantly - that any other man on earth has been empowered to tell me what God wants me to do.
i went to catholic school (and i grew up on a farm...im so typical) i have to agree. what i really found is the deeper and more involved one got with a certain denomination the more and more you have to deny all other possibilities so you can climb deeper into the well. it is a very "us" versus "them" mentality.
----------------------------------------------------------- "When I first saw it, I just thought that you really, really enjoyed programming in java." - Leslie Sanford
jgasm wrote:
it is a very "us" versus "them" mentality.
What's really evil fun is to pretend that you think the DaVinci Code is factual. You become such a 'them,' you can't get back to 'us' for months.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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Mike Gaskey wrote:
yep.
That's great!
Mike Gaskey wrote:
now that is sad.
Once upon a time (when I was young and green behind the ears) I was a lay preacher in the Methodist Church, so you can't say it's for lack of looking. But I have yet to see evidence that God, omnipotent, omniscient, and everlasting would really care about whether I ate fish on Friday, or made love to a woman outside of marriage, or didn't give ten percent of my gross income to the local priests, or - most importantly - that any other man on earth has been empowered to tell me what God wants me to do. Indeed, I have this sneaking suspicion that whether it's a backwoods fundie like Illion or the Pope in his golden throne, when they start telling me that God shared the secret of what to do and what not to do with them, it's all about them, not about God.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
I have yet to see evidence that God, omnipotent, omniscient, and everlasting would really care about whether I ate fish on Friday, or made love to a woman outside of marriage, or didn't give ten percent of my gross income to the local priests, or - most importantly - that any other man on earth has been empowered to tell me what God wants me to do. Indeed, I have this sneaking suspicion that whether it's a backwoods fundie like Illion or the Pope in his golden throne, when they start telling me that God shared the secret of what to do and what not to do with them, it's all about them, not about God.
I agree.
"The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon
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jgasm wrote:
it is a very "us" versus "them" mentality.
What's really evil fun is to pretend that you think the DaVinci Code is factual. You become such a 'them,' you can't get back to 'us' for months.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
think the DaVinci Code is factual
How about the Bible Code? I am not sure about it since many of the things mentioned are after the fact and I have yet to see any of the "future" stuff happen :suss:
"The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon