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A Call To Genius

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  • R Roger Wright

    I'm looking for a solution to a problem that you geniuses might have fun playing with. No, it's not a programming problem, or a math challenge. I need a bird feeder. I've been feeding doves in my yard for a few months, and enjoy watching their antics in the morning while jump-starting my heart with coffee. I now have a population of regular diners numbering about 24, plus or minus a few from day to day. Although doves are ground feeders, my visitors have also learned to use a pair of tree-hung plastic feeders designed for smaller birds, but it's awfully inconvenient for them. The problem is two-fold. For one, ants have moved in, stealing grain to take home, and I'm not fond of having ants crawling all over the yard. Controlling them isn't simple, as they travel long distances to grab the seeds, and their nest isn't on my property. I can't just climb the neighbors' fences to poison any hills in their yards, and wouldn't do so if I could. They have children and dogs in the yard, and that just would not do. The second problem, and a larger one, is that pigeons are also ground feeders, and lately have been trying to muscle in on my doves. I despise the filthy, disease-ridden flying rats and would gladly shoot every one of them if I could. But since the huge influx of Californicators have caused our local laws to degenerate into the kind of Liberal Socialist morass most people leave the PRC to escape, we're not allowed to shoot them. Poisoning works, but I consider it irresponsible, as the poison is indiscriminate, killing other birds and any cats that might eat the carcasses. Not that I'd mind killing cats, mind you, but it would hurt the misguided little kids who consider them their pets. That just won't do. I've stopped spreading seed on the ground as of today, but I'd like to find a feeder design that 1.) can rest on the ground or hang on very low branches, and 2.) is sized and designed to make feeding easy for doves, yet impossible for larger pigeons to use. I have wood, steel, plastic, and fiberglass at hand to construct it, but I'm at a loss for a design. Any ideas?

    "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

    P Offline
    P Offline
    PIEBALDconsult
    wrote on last edited by
    #13

    Shotgun shells filled with seed; feed them on the fly. :-D

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • R Roger Wright

      I'm looking for a solution to a problem that you geniuses might have fun playing with. No, it's not a programming problem, or a math challenge. I need a bird feeder. I've been feeding doves in my yard for a few months, and enjoy watching their antics in the morning while jump-starting my heart with coffee. I now have a population of regular diners numbering about 24, plus or minus a few from day to day. Although doves are ground feeders, my visitors have also learned to use a pair of tree-hung plastic feeders designed for smaller birds, but it's awfully inconvenient for them. The problem is two-fold. For one, ants have moved in, stealing grain to take home, and I'm not fond of having ants crawling all over the yard. Controlling them isn't simple, as they travel long distances to grab the seeds, and their nest isn't on my property. I can't just climb the neighbors' fences to poison any hills in their yards, and wouldn't do so if I could. They have children and dogs in the yard, and that just would not do. The second problem, and a larger one, is that pigeons are also ground feeders, and lately have been trying to muscle in on my doves. I despise the filthy, disease-ridden flying rats and would gladly shoot every one of them if I could. But since the huge influx of Californicators have caused our local laws to degenerate into the kind of Liberal Socialist morass most people leave the PRC to escape, we're not allowed to shoot them. Poisoning works, but I consider it irresponsible, as the poison is indiscriminate, killing other birds and any cats that might eat the carcasses. Not that I'd mind killing cats, mind you, but it would hurt the misguided little kids who consider them their pets. That just won't do. I've stopped spreading seed on the ground as of today, but I'd like to find a feeder design that 1.) can rest on the ground or hang on very low branches, and 2.) is sized and designed to make feeding easy for doves, yet impossible for larger pigeons to use. I have wood, steel, plastic, and fiberglass at hand to construct it, but I'm at a loss for a design. Any ideas?

      "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

      W Offline
      W Offline
      wout de zeeuw
      wrote on last edited by
      #14

      Just do like programming, make a prototype, see how it works, if it don't work, make a new one! Btw: I thought pigeon == dove, so learned something new today!

      Wout

      O 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • R Roger Wright

        Jim Crafton wrote:

        an admission of feeding doves definitely drops man points?

        Not really. Dove season starts in October; I'm just fattenning them up...

        Jim Crafton wrote:

        I always thought the two bird were roughly the same size.

        I always thought so, too. But seen side by side, the pigeons are nearly twice the size of doves.

        "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

        P Offline
        P Offline
        Paul Conrad
        wrote on last edited by
        #15

        Roger Wright wrote:

        Dove season starts in October; I'm just fattenning them up...

        Not much longer 'til dove season :-D

        "The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • R Roger Wright

          I'm looking for a solution to a problem that you geniuses might have fun playing with. No, it's not a programming problem, or a math challenge. I need a bird feeder. I've been feeding doves in my yard for a few months, and enjoy watching their antics in the morning while jump-starting my heart with coffee. I now have a population of regular diners numbering about 24, plus or minus a few from day to day. Although doves are ground feeders, my visitors have also learned to use a pair of tree-hung plastic feeders designed for smaller birds, but it's awfully inconvenient for them. The problem is two-fold. For one, ants have moved in, stealing grain to take home, and I'm not fond of having ants crawling all over the yard. Controlling them isn't simple, as they travel long distances to grab the seeds, and their nest isn't on my property. I can't just climb the neighbors' fences to poison any hills in their yards, and wouldn't do so if I could. They have children and dogs in the yard, and that just would not do. The second problem, and a larger one, is that pigeons are also ground feeders, and lately have been trying to muscle in on my doves. I despise the filthy, disease-ridden flying rats and would gladly shoot every one of them if I could. But since the huge influx of Californicators have caused our local laws to degenerate into the kind of Liberal Socialist morass most people leave the PRC to escape, we're not allowed to shoot them. Poisoning works, but I consider it irresponsible, as the poison is indiscriminate, killing other birds and any cats that might eat the carcasses. Not that I'd mind killing cats, mind you, but it would hurt the misguided little kids who consider them their pets. That just won't do. I've stopped spreading seed on the ground as of today, but I'd like to find a feeder design that 1.) can rest on the ground or hang on very low branches, and 2.) is sized and designed to make feeding easy for doves, yet impossible for larger pigeons to use. I have wood, steel, plastic, and fiberglass at hand to construct it, but I'm at a loss for a design. Any ideas?

          "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #16

          Simple - invent a virus that mutates them into chocolate anteaters.

          Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

          R 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • W wout de zeeuw

            Just do like programming, make a prototype, see how it works, if it don't work, make a new one! Btw: I thought pigeon == dove, so learned something new today!

            Wout

            O Offline
            O Offline
            Oakman
            wrote on last edited by
            #17

            wout de zeeuw wrote:

            I thought pigeon == dove

            pigeon == cornish game hen

            Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • R Roger Wright

              I'm looking for a solution to a problem that you geniuses might have fun playing with. No, it's not a programming problem, or a math challenge. I need a bird feeder. I've been feeding doves in my yard for a few months, and enjoy watching their antics in the morning while jump-starting my heart with coffee. I now have a population of regular diners numbering about 24, plus or minus a few from day to day. Although doves are ground feeders, my visitors have also learned to use a pair of tree-hung plastic feeders designed for smaller birds, but it's awfully inconvenient for them. The problem is two-fold. For one, ants have moved in, stealing grain to take home, and I'm not fond of having ants crawling all over the yard. Controlling them isn't simple, as they travel long distances to grab the seeds, and their nest isn't on my property. I can't just climb the neighbors' fences to poison any hills in their yards, and wouldn't do so if I could. They have children and dogs in the yard, and that just would not do. The second problem, and a larger one, is that pigeons are also ground feeders, and lately have been trying to muscle in on my doves. I despise the filthy, disease-ridden flying rats and would gladly shoot every one of them if I could. But since the huge influx of Californicators have caused our local laws to degenerate into the kind of Liberal Socialist morass most people leave the PRC to escape, we're not allowed to shoot them. Poisoning works, but I consider it irresponsible, as the poison is indiscriminate, killing other birds and any cats that might eat the carcasses. Not that I'd mind killing cats, mind you, but it would hurt the misguided little kids who consider them their pets. That just won't do. I've stopped spreading seed on the ground as of today, but I'd like to find a feeder design that 1.) can rest on the ground or hang on very low branches, and 2.) is sized and designed to make feeding easy for doves, yet impossible for larger pigeons to use. I have wood, steel, plastic, and fiberglass at hand to construct it, but I'm at a loss for a design. Any ideas?

              "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

              J Offline
              J Offline
              Joe Woodbury
              wrote on last edited by
              #18

              You do know that Doves and Pigeons are the same species, right? (They are of the same family--Columbidae--and often Genus. Historically, pigeon and dove has been used interchangeably and some scientists argue the only different is semantic.)

              Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. - P.J. O'Rourke

              R 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • R Roger Wright

                I'm looking for a solution to a problem that you geniuses might have fun playing with. No, it's not a programming problem, or a math challenge. I need a bird feeder. I've been feeding doves in my yard for a few months, and enjoy watching their antics in the morning while jump-starting my heart with coffee. I now have a population of regular diners numbering about 24, plus or minus a few from day to day. Although doves are ground feeders, my visitors have also learned to use a pair of tree-hung plastic feeders designed for smaller birds, but it's awfully inconvenient for them. The problem is two-fold. For one, ants have moved in, stealing grain to take home, and I'm not fond of having ants crawling all over the yard. Controlling them isn't simple, as they travel long distances to grab the seeds, and their nest isn't on my property. I can't just climb the neighbors' fences to poison any hills in their yards, and wouldn't do so if I could. They have children and dogs in the yard, and that just would not do. The second problem, and a larger one, is that pigeons are also ground feeders, and lately have been trying to muscle in on my doves. I despise the filthy, disease-ridden flying rats and would gladly shoot every one of them if I could. But since the huge influx of Californicators have caused our local laws to degenerate into the kind of Liberal Socialist morass most people leave the PRC to escape, we're not allowed to shoot them. Poisoning works, but I consider it irresponsible, as the poison is indiscriminate, killing other birds and any cats that might eat the carcasses. Not that I'd mind killing cats, mind you, but it would hurt the misguided little kids who consider them their pets. That just won't do. I've stopped spreading seed on the ground as of today, but I'd like to find a feeder design that 1.) can rest on the ground or hang on very low branches, and 2.) is sized and designed to make feeding easy for doves, yet impossible for larger pigeons to use. I have wood, steel, plastic, and fiberglass at hand to construct it, but I'm at a loss for a design. Any ideas?

                "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                E Offline
                E Offline
                Ed Poore
                wrote on last edited by
                #19

                For the pigeons[^] (probably a bit of an overkill for the ants).

                R 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • E Ed Poore

                  For the pigeons[^] (probably a bit of an overkill for the ants).

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Roger Wright
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #20

                  " ...Yet none of the guns were ever found, even after the armistice." A friend of mine has one here in Bullhead City; got it at a yard sale. It's too hard to aim at pigeons, so he only fires it 4th of July.

                  "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • J Joe Woodbury

                    You do know that Doves and Pigeons are the same species, right? (They are of the same family--Columbidae--and often Genus. Historically, pigeon and dove has been used interchangeably and some scientists argue the only different is semantic.)

                    Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. - P.J. O'Rourke

                    R Offline
                    R Offline
                    Roger Wright
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #21

                    They're of the same order and family (Columbiformes columbidae), but Doves are in a genus of their own - Zenaida. There are seven members of this genus of American Doves, the one local variant being Z. macroura. The difference may be slight, but breeding will tell. After all, H. neanderthalis, H. habilis, H. florensis, and H. erectus are all in the same genus as you, but would you really want your daughter to marry one? :-D

                    "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                    J L 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • L Lost User

                      Simple - invent a virus that mutates them into chocolate anteaters.

                      Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

                      R Offline
                      R Offline
                      Roger Wright
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #22

                      Trollslayer wrote:

                      invent a virus that mutates them into chocolate anteaters.

                      An elegant solution, as I would expect from my heros at CP! :-D While the virus invention is a relatively straight-forward process, I fear our climate would adversely affect anything made of chocolate. Chocolate anteaters are not known here for their longevity.

                      "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                      L 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • R Roger Wright

                        They're of the same order and family (Columbiformes columbidae), but Doves are in a genus of their own - Zenaida. There are seven members of this genus of American Doves, the one local variant being Z. macroura. The difference may be slight, but breeding will tell. After all, H. neanderthalis, H. habilis, H. florensis, and H. erectus are all in the same genus as you, but would you really want your daughter to marry one? :-D

                        "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                        J Offline
                        J Offline
                        Joe Woodbury
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #23

                        I still say Doves are white flying rates, pigeons brown flying rats.

                        Roger Wright wrote:

                        but would you really want your daughter to marry one?

                        She may be marrying a H. Neanderthalis; time will tell.

                        Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. - P.J. O'Rourke

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • R Roger Wright

                          I'm looking for a solution to a problem that you geniuses might have fun playing with. No, it's not a programming problem, or a math challenge. I need a bird feeder. I've been feeding doves in my yard for a few months, and enjoy watching their antics in the morning while jump-starting my heart with coffee. I now have a population of regular diners numbering about 24, plus or minus a few from day to day. Although doves are ground feeders, my visitors have also learned to use a pair of tree-hung plastic feeders designed for smaller birds, but it's awfully inconvenient for them. The problem is two-fold. For one, ants have moved in, stealing grain to take home, and I'm not fond of having ants crawling all over the yard. Controlling them isn't simple, as they travel long distances to grab the seeds, and their nest isn't on my property. I can't just climb the neighbors' fences to poison any hills in their yards, and wouldn't do so if I could. They have children and dogs in the yard, and that just would not do. The second problem, and a larger one, is that pigeons are also ground feeders, and lately have been trying to muscle in on my doves. I despise the filthy, disease-ridden flying rats and would gladly shoot every one of them if I could. But since the huge influx of Californicators have caused our local laws to degenerate into the kind of Liberal Socialist morass most people leave the PRC to escape, we're not allowed to shoot them. Poisoning works, but I consider it irresponsible, as the poison is indiscriminate, killing other birds and any cats that might eat the carcasses. Not that I'd mind killing cats, mind you, but it would hurt the misguided little kids who consider them their pets. That just won't do. I've stopped spreading seed on the ground as of today, but I'd like to find a feeder design that 1.) can rest on the ground or hang on very low branches, and 2.) is sized and designed to make feeding easy for doves, yet impossible for larger pigeons to use. I have wood, steel, plastic, and fiberglass at hand to construct it, but I'm at a loss for a design. Any ideas?

                          "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                          R Offline
                          R Offline
                          Robert Surtees
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #24

                          Amazon[^] to the rescue.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • R Roger Wright

                            They're of the same order and family (Columbiformes columbidae), but Doves are in a genus of their own - Zenaida. There are seven members of this genus of American Doves, the one local variant being Z. macroura. The difference may be slight, but breeding will tell. After all, H. neanderthalis, H. habilis, H. florensis, and H. erectus are all in the same genus as you, but would you really want your daughter to marry one? :-D

                            "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            leckey 0
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #25

                            I personally hate mourning doves. I grew up with one outside my window EVERY FREAKING MORNING cooing. If I see them outside in my yard I try to chase them away.

                            Blog. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

                            R 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • R Roger Wright

                              Trollslayer wrote:

                              invent a virus that mutates them into chocolate anteaters.

                              An elegant solution, as I would expect from my heros at CP! :-D While the virus invention is a relatively straight-forward process, I fear our climate would adversely affect anything made of chocolate. Chocolate anteaters are not known here for their longevity.

                              "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #26

                              OK, a small factory producing mini pigeon "Coo" seeking missiles is needed. Along with cleaner bots to get rid of the remains. This post is Pinky and The Brain approved.

                              Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • R Roger Wright

                                Jim Crafton wrote:

                                an admission of feeding doves definitely drops man points?

                                Not really. Dove season starts in October; I'm just fattenning them up...

                                Jim Crafton wrote:

                                I always thought the two bird were roughly the same size.

                                I always thought so, too. But seen side by side, the pigeons are nearly twice the size of doves.

                                "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                                D Offline
                                D Offline
                                Dan Neely
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #27

                                Roger Wright wrote:

                                Not really. Dove season starts in October; I'm just fattenning them up...

                                Wouldn't you have to stop feeding them in the near future to comply with game laws?

                                Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall

                                R 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • D Dan Neely

                                  Roger Wright wrote:

                                  Not really. Dove season starts in October; I'm just fattenning them up...

                                  Wouldn't you have to stop feeding them in the near future to comply with game laws?

                                  Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall

                                  R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  Roger Wright
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #28

                                  I'm not aware of any game laws that require me to stop feeding them, especially since I'm not allowed to shoot them in the city anyway. I just like to think that I'm improving the harvest for whoever does shoot them eventually. A public service, if you like... In the meantime I get to enjoy their antics in my yard, and annoy the neighbors' cats who aren't bright enough to catch them. If I had my druthers, I'd shoot the cats and feed them to the doves. Carnivorous doves would be something to see.

                                  "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • L leckey 0

                                    I personally hate mourning doves. I grew up with one outside my window EVERY FREAKING MORNING cooing. If I see them outside in my yard I try to chase them away.

                                    Blog. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

                                    R Offline
                                    R Offline
                                    Roger Wright
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #29

                                    leckey wrote:

                                    If I see them outside in my yard I try to chase them away.

                                    A tip for you... They're edible, and they never hear a blowgun dart coming. If you can't stand the hassle of cleaning them, your cat won't mind helping.

                                    "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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