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A Call To Genius

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  • E Ed Poore

    For the pigeons[^] (probably a bit of an overkill for the ants).

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    Roger Wright
    wrote on last edited by
    #20

    " ...Yet none of the guns were ever found, even after the armistice." A friend of mine has one here in Bullhead City; got it at a yard sale. It's too hard to aim at pigeons, so he only fires it 4th of July.

    "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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    • J Joe Woodbury

      You do know that Doves and Pigeons are the same species, right? (They are of the same family--Columbidae--and often Genus. Historically, pigeon and dove has been used interchangeably and some scientists argue the only different is semantic.)

      Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. - P.J. O'Rourke

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      Roger Wright
      wrote on last edited by
      #21

      They're of the same order and family (Columbiformes columbidae), but Doves are in a genus of their own - Zenaida. There are seven members of this genus of American Doves, the one local variant being Z. macroura. The difference may be slight, but breeding will tell. After all, H. neanderthalis, H. habilis, H. florensis, and H. erectus are all in the same genus as you, but would you really want your daughter to marry one? :-D

      "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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      • L Lost User

        Simple - invent a virus that mutates them into chocolate anteaters.

        Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

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        Roger Wright
        wrote on last edited by
        #22

        Trollslayer wrote:

        invent a virus that mutates them into chocolate anteaters.

        An elegant solution, as I would expect from my heros at CP! :-D While the virus invention is a relatively straight-forward process, I fear our climate would adversely affect anything made of chocolate. Chocolate anteaters are not known here for their longevity.

        "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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        • R Roger Wright

          They're of the same order and family (Columbiformes columbidae), but Doves are in a genus of their own - Zenaida. There are seven members of this genus of American Doves, the one local variant being Z. macroura. The difference may be slight, but breeding will tell. After all, H. neanderthalis, H. habilis, H. florensis, and H. erectus are all in the same genus as you, but would you really want your daughter to marry one? :-D

          "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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          Joe Woodbury
          wrote on last edited by
          #23

          I still say Doves are white flying rates, pigeons brown flying rats.

          Roger Wright wrote:

          but would you really want your daughter to marry one?

          She may be marrying a H. Neanderthalis; time will tell.

          Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. - P.J. O'Rourke

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          • R Roger Wright

            I'm looking for a solution to a problem that you geniuses might have fun playing with. No, it's not a programming problem, or a math challenge. I need a bird feeder. I've been feeding doves in my yard for a few months, and enjoy watching their antics in the morning while jump-starting my heart with coffee. I now have a population of regular diners numbering about 24, plus or minus a few from day to day. Although doves are ground feeders, my visitors have also learned to use a pair of tree-hung plastic feeders designed for smaller birds, but it's awfully inconvenient for them. The problem is two-fold. For one, ants have moved in, stealing grain to take home, and I'm not fond of having ants crawling all over the yard. Controlling them isn't simple, as they travel long distances to grab the seeds, and their nest isn't on my property. I can't just climb the neighbors' fences to poison any hills in their yards, and wouldn't do so if I could. They have children and dogs in the yard, and that just would not do. The second problem, and a larger one, is that pigeons are also ground feeders, and lately have been trying to muscle in on my doves. I despise the filthy, disease-ridden flying rats and would gladly shoot every one of them if I could. But since the huge influx of Californicators have caused our local laws to degenerate into the kind of Liberal Socialist morass most people leave the PRC to escape, we're not allowed to shoot them. Poisoning works, but I consider it irresponsible, as the poison is indiscriminate, killing other birds and any cats that might eat the carcasses. Not that I'd mind killing cats, mind you, but it would hurt the misguided little kids who consider them their pets. That just won't do. I've stopped spreading seed on the ground as of today, but I'd like to find a feeder design that 1.) can rest on the ground or hang on very low branches, and 2.) is sized and designed to make feeding easy for doves, yet impossible for larger pigeons to use. I have wood, steel, plastic, and fiberglass at hand to construct it, but I'm at a loss for a design. Any ideas?

            "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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            Robert Surtees
            wrote on last edited by
            #24

            Amazon[^] to the rescue.

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            • R Roger Wright

              They're of the same order and family (Columbiformes columbidae), but Doves are in a genus of their own - Zenaida. There are seven members of this genus of American Doves, the one local variant being Z. macroura. The difference may be slight, but breeding will tell. After all, H. neanderthalis, H. habilis, H. florensis, and H. erectus are all in the same genus as you, but would you really want your daughter to marry one? :-D

              "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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              leckey 0
              wrote on last edited by
              #25

              I personally hate mourning doves. I grew up with one outside my window EVERY FREAKING MORNING cooing. If I see them outside in my yard I try to chase them away.

              Blog. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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              • R Roger Wright

                Trollslayer wrote:

                invent a virus that mutates them into chocolate anteaters.

                An elegant solution, as I would expect from my heros at CP! :-D While the virus invention is a relatively straight-forward process, I fear our climate would adversely affect anything made of chocolate. Chocolate anteaters are not known here for their longevity.

                "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #26

                OK, a small factory producing mini pigeon "Coo" seeking missiles is needed. Along with cleaner bots to get rid of the remains. This post is Pinky and The Brain approved.

                Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

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                • R Roger Wright

                  Jim Crafton wrote:

                  an admission of feeding doves definitely drops man points?

                  Not really. Dove season starts in October; I'm just fattenning them up...

                  Jim Crafton wrote:

                  I always thought the two bird were roughly the same size.

                  I always thought so, too. But seen side by side, the pigeons are nearly twice the size of doves.

                  "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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                  Dan Neely
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #27

                  Roger Wright wrote:

                  Not really. Dove season starts in October; I'm just fattenning them up...

                  Wouldn't you have to stop feeding them in the near future to comply with game laws?

                  Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall

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                  • D Dan Neely

                    Roger Wright wrote:

                    Not really. Dove season starts in October; I'm just fattenning them up...

                    Wouldn't you have to stop feeding them in the near future to comply with game laws?

                    Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall

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                    Roger Wright
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #28

                    I'm not aware of any game laws that require me to stop feeding them, especially since I'm not allowed to shoot them in the city anyway. I just like to think that I'm improving the harvest for whoever does shoot them eventually. A public service, if you like... In the meantime I get to enjoy their antics in my yard, and annoy the neighbors' cats who aren't bright enough to catch them. If I had my druthers, I'd shoot the cats and feed them to the doves. Carnivorous doves would be something to see.

                    "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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                    • L leckey 0

                      I personally hate mourning doves. I grew up with one outside my window EVERY FREAKING MORNING cooing. If I see them outside in my yard I try to chase them away.

                      Blog. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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                      Roger Wright
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #29

                      leckey wrote:

                      If I see them outside in my yard I try to chase them away.

                      A tip for you... They're edible, and they never hear a blowgun dart coming. If you can't stand the hassle of cleaning them, your cat won't mind helping.

                      "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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