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  3. 5 things Hollywood thinks computers can do.

5 things Hollywood thinks computers can do.

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  • L Lost User

    "#2.A Computer Might Become Self-Aware At Any Moment" Let's start with the users.

    Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

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    Jim Crafton
    wrote on last edited by
    #13

    They should see some of the article that get posted here. That would give pause to nearly anyone...

    ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

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    • P Pete OHanlon

      This[^] is the most accurate review of computers in films that I've seen in a long time.

      Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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      J Offline
      Jim Crafton
      wrote on last edited by
      #14

      My favorite (referring to the hack into the aliens mother ship in Independence Day): "Therefore, Goldblum's feat was the equivalent of colony of baboons in the Congo hacking into CitiBank using tree bark and clumps of their own feces. " Excellent!!

      ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

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      • P Pete OHanlon

        This[^] is the most accurate review of computers in films that I've seen in a long time.

        Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

        P Offline
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        PIEBALDconsult
        wrote on last edited by
        #15

        Gaaah!! NO!! Not "The Net"! Now I have to go back to therapy... ::whimper:: X|

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        • P Pete OHanlon

          This[^] is the most accurate review of computers in films that I've seen in a long time.

          Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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          J Offline
          Joe Woodbury
          wrote on last edited by
          #16

          Then there are the little things, like progress bars for things that are instantaneous. (As though it takes longer to transfer a hundred million dollars than ten.) Oh, and hacking moment also presupposes that the target of their machinations are systems NOT designed and run by idiots, like, for example, Bank of America.

          Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. - P.J. O'Rourke

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          • P Pete OHanlon

            This[^] is the most accurate review of computers in films that I've seen in a long time.

            Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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            Schmuli
            wrote on last edited by
            #17

            What about the fact that almost anytime a character has to use a computer, any computer (even a non-pc like mobile devices or machine controllers), they start tapping away at the keyboard and, like magic, things start doing exactly what they were trying to do. And any time a hack needs to happen, even if it involves wiring up a piece of custom hardware and firmware, all the pieces and software already exist and just need like one turn of the screwdriver to start working.

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            • P Pete OHanlon

              This[^] is the most accurate review of computers in films that I've seen in a long time.

              Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

              My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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              Brady Kelly
              wrote on last edited by
              #18

              Repost. ;P

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              • J Joe Woodbury

                Then there are the little things, like progress bars for things that are instantaneous. (As though it takes longer to transfer a hundred million dollars than ten.) Oh, and hacking moment also presupposes that the target of their machinations are systems NOT designed and run by idiots, like, for example, Bank of America.

                Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. - P.J. O'Rourke

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                Brady Kelly
                wrote on last edited by
                #19

                Joe Woodbury wrote:

                As though it takes longer to transfer a hundred million dollars than ten.

                It does when you send it one dollar at a time. :laugh:

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                • P Pete OHanlon

                  This[^] is the most accurate review of computers in films that I've seen in a long time.

                  Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

                  My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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                  B Offline
                  Brady Kelly
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #20

                  I remember thinking it ludicrous that computer text had a real type face on a white background, in Michael Knight's KITT. Everyone knew computers had green screens.

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                  • B Brady Kelly

                    I remember thinking it ludicrous that computer text had a real type face on a white background, in Michael Knight's KITT. Everyone knew computers had green screens.

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                    rdskill
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #21

                    :cool: Actually that was only in the USA. In Europe they have higher standards. I was developing a banking system for Ericsson in the early 80's... Black on White background with a refresh rate of 72 Hertz on a articulated stand. We loved going up against IBM who still had 8 line plasma displays on their premier banking system. lol

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                    • P Pete OHanlon

                      While I agree with the sentiment, CSI isn't really Hollywood. It's rubbish granted, but this seems to be purely film oriented.

                      Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

                      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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                      Fuzzychaos
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #22

                      But didn't the zooming in thing work in 'Blade Runner'? ;P

                      Jeremy Props to the family: New Dawn Engineering

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                      • P Pete OHanlon

                        This[^] is the most accurate review of computers in films that I've seen in a long time.

                        Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

                        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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                        V Offline
                        Vikram A Punathambekar
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #23

                        Not very on topic, but hey, it's a Dilbert cartoon! http://www.csus.edu/indiv/l/legorretal/160_Spring_2006_05_Dilbert_on_requirements_gathering.jpg[^]

                        Cheers, Vıkram.


                        "if abusing me makes you a credible then i better give u the chance which didnt get in real" - Adnan Siddiqi.

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                        • P Pete OHanlon

                          This[^] is the most accurate review of computers in films that I've seen in a long time.

                          Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

                          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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                          G Offline
                          grgran
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #24

                          How can I be expected to believe this article when it makes statements like this: "We're pretty sure all that takes is writing a letter to your congressman and saying, "I would like $9.5 billion to run an underground anti-terror organization." The check should arrive within four to six weeks." Come on, get real. It's going to take at least four to six MONTHS to get that check .... unless of course you are in Iraq, in which case just about any warm body can just reach into a large plastic garbage bag and give it to you in cash (no receipt required, cause it's a trust system).

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                          • P Pete OHanlon

                            This[^] is the most accurate review of computers in films that I've seen in a long time.

                            Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

                            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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                            T Offline
                            tsdragon
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #25

                            That's the funniest thing I've read in quite a while! Thanks for post the link (and thanks to the newsletter editors for passing it on). My boss was wondering why I was laughing so hard, so I had to forward it on to him. Here's another one: Computers can read minds, but they're basically evil. They know That you really didn't want to format your hard drive when you said "format c:" (and replied YES), so why did they format your hard drive? Because they (and Microsoft) are evil!

                            Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

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                            • V Vikram A Punathambekar

                              Not very on topic, but hey, it's a Dilbert cartoon! http://www.csus.edu/indiv/l/legorretal/160_Spring_2006_05_Dilbert_on_requirements_gathering.jpg[^]

                              Cheers, Vıkram.


                              "if abusing me makes you a credible then i better give u the chance which didnt get in real" - Adnan Siddiqi.

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                              jgehman
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #26

                              Great Dilbert clip, one of my favorites. I have the newspaper clipping from when it was published on my cubicle wall.

                              jgehman Software Engineer

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                              • P Pete OHanlon

                                Trollslayer wrote:

                                "#2.A Computer Might Become Self-Aware At Any Moment" Let's start with the users.

                                It's more likely that a computer will become sentient.

                                Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

                                My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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                                DragonsRightWing
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #27

                                Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

                                It's more likely that a computer will become sentient.

                                I can't do that, Dave ...

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                                • P Pete OHanlon

                                  This[^] is the most accurate review of computers in films that I've seen in a long time.

                                  Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

                                  My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

                                  S Offline
                                  S Offline
                                  Simon P Stevens
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #28

                                  I watched swordfish the other night. That was rather absurd in the computer use department. One guy was shown the login screen for a US government organisation, (which for a start had cool animations and said in big letters 128-bit encryption, which I thought was a bit unlikely!), then, with no warning or chance to prep, had a gun put to his head and was told he had 60 seconds to hack in. Surprise surprise, he did it. (Oh, and there was a woman doing non-kid-sister-safe things to him all through the scene)

                                  Simon

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                                  • F Fuzzychaos

                                    But didn't the zooming in thing work in 'Blade Runner'? ;P

                                    Jeremy Props to the family: New Dawn Engineering

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                                    Daniel A
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #29

                                    That's something completely different ;P

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                                    • P Pete OHanlon

                                      This[^] is the most accurate review of computers in films that I've seen in a long time.

                                      Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

                                      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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                                      D Offline
                                      Daniel A
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #30

                                      And when there is text output it always appears character by character, each one generating a short beeping sound. Would be really boring if there was a whole line of text appearing at once ...

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                                      • M Mladen Jankovic

                                        Yeah, and there was similar situation in another episode. After they zoomed image to 2000000% and re-rendered it, they found silhouette of a man standing in the window (the original image covered both sides of a river with at least 20 buildings on it), then they map it to 3D image of man's face and searched the database (matter of seconds), needless to say they succeeded. I was like OMG WTF! Luckily there were no object near me that could harm my TV set :doh:

                                        [Genetic Algorithm Library]

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                                        cpkilekofp
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #31

                                        Mladen Jankovic wrote:

                                        Yeah, and there was similar situation in another episode. After they zoomed image to 2000000% and re-rendered it, they found silhouette of a man standing in the window (the original image covered both sides of a river with at least 20 buildings on it), then they map it to 3D image of man's face and searched the database (matter of seconds), needless to say they succeeded. I was like OMG WTF! Luckily there were no object near me that could harm my TV set

                                        Don't blame the writers for abuse of computer technology...blame them for abuse of PERIPHERAL technology. After all, it's not the computer that's the issue...it's the CAMERA. Who is going to be using HD CCD image capture devices on a commercial security camera? Heck, I don't think any camera outside of military satellite cameras can pull the resolution they regularly expect on shows like CSI, Law and Order, etc. BUT...if they were using such cameras, then we would be able to do this - the US military does it on a regular basis (they've had the ability to resolve objects as small as two feet from orbit for quite some time).

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                                        • P Pete OHanlon

                                          Trollslayer wrote:

                                          "#2.A Computer Might Become Self-Aware At Any Moment" Let's start with the users.

                                          It's more likely that a computer will become sentient.

                                          Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

                                          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys

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                                          C Offline
                                          cpkilekofp
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #32

                                          Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

                                          It's more likely that a computer will become sentient.

                                          If computers become sentient, does that mean Earth will finally support intelligent life? :laugh:

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