On Microsoft, Scrums and Burndown
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The following quote from the recent article about Microsoft Visual Studio 2010 had the whole office in stitches: "We'll include in the [VSTS] box an Excel workbook for teams that are leveraging, say, the Scrum process so they can get burndown from their project." I'm sorry. Is this some language very similar to, but subtly different from, English or have I accidentally stumbled into a parallel universe? Here in the UK we have this theory that we invented English but not one person in my office had the slightest notion what this author was on about. Discussions as to whether burning down the project is a good or bad idea are ongoing. Keith
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It hits you like a ton of bricks, but leaves no residue...
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
These are terms from a particular agile development[^] methodology
Graham Librarians rule, Ook!
I think my boss is finally discovering that for prototypes and maybe demos, agile is okay, but if you're doing a production product, you really need design and requirements documentation so that everyone is on the same page as far as what's expected of the application, and who's responsible for which parts.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
Like a 'Marriage' then?
------------------------------------ Credit is a system whereby a person who can not pay gets another person who can not pay to guarantee that he can pay. - Charles Dickens
That depends on whether or not you have kids...
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
That depends on whether or not you have kids...
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001Ah yes, children, the detritus of a relationship, the navel fluff of a night out, the evaporators of hard earned money, the eaters of house and home and the destroyers of elegant sexual relationships with your wife on a Saturday morning! Yeah, I got me one of them! (Thankfully he is off to Uni soon!)
------------------------------------ Credit is a system whereby a person who can not pay gets another person who can not pay to guarantee that he can pay. - Charles Dickens
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Americans like to insert the most stupid adjectives into sentences to make them sound 'out of this world!' America - A tacky version of England Be gentle. :-D
The answers posted by me are suggestions only and cannot be used in anyway against me.
.netman wrote:
Americans like to insert the most stupid adjectives into sentences
How do you know it was an American? Microsoft does a lot of outsourcing, you know. :)
My Blog: http://cynicalclots.blogspot.com
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WTF! What would be splendid is whenever we are subjected to a presentation that uses this unusual means of communication, the audience all put up their hands and ask that the presenter speaks English and desists from using such drivel. If they continue to do so because they have a script and can't think for themselves, then everyone walks out until they learn to present correctly. Or at the end of the show, in the "Any Questions" section, merely ask for the English translation :)
I still remember having to write your own code in FORTRAN rather than be a cut and paste merchant being pampered by colour coded Intellisense - ahh proper programming - those were the days :)
Baconbutty wrote:
the audience all put up their hands and ask that the presenter speaks English
Went to an MS presentation on SQL 2008 some months ago and the guy started talking about the new tree/matrix/grid thing in RS, can't rember what he called it but 3-4 people immediately asked for clarification. Poor bloke shook his head in despair, how dare we not know the latest busswaord.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH
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These are terms from a particular agile development[^] methodology
Graham Librarians rule, Ook!
I do now understand that this is the case but it's a striking example of how some folks seem to go around inventing new words, willy-nilly. I have a suspicion that in many cases it's because they think it sounds trendy, rather than through any actual need. Incidentally, I'm not overly fond of the word "methodology" either. It doesn't feature in my (admittedly aging) Pocket Oxford Dictionary. What's wrong with real words like "technique" or, if you want to be a bit grander, "philosophy"? I realise that I am an old and reactionary dinosaur and that my rants against the inevitable evolution of the English language are in vain, but it keeps me happy on a damp Tuesday morning. Keith
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The following quote from the recent article about Microsoft Visual Studio 2010 had the whole office in stitches: "We'll include in the [VSTS] box an Excel workbook for teams that are leveraging, say, the Scrum process so they can get burndown from their project." I'm sorry. Is this some language very similar to, but subtly different from, English or have I accidentally stumbled into a parallel universe? Here in the UK we have this theory that we invented English but not one person in my office had the slightest notion what this author was on about. Discussions as to whether burning down the project is a good or bad idea are ongoing. Keith
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I do now understand that this is the case but it's a striking example of how some folks seem to go around inventing new words, willy-nilly. I have a suspicion that in many cases it's because they think it sounds trendy, rather than through any actual need. Incidentally, I'm not overly fond of the word "methodology" either. It doesn't feature in my (admittedly aging) Pocket Oxford Dictionary. What's wrong with real words like "technique" or, if you want to be a bit grander, "philosophy"? I realise that I am an old and reactionary dinosaur and that my rants against the inevitable evolution of the English language are in vain, but it keeps me happy on a damp Tuesday morning. Keith
Well as an old and reactionary ex-rugby player I cannot complain about the word scrum :-) However, I think I'll join you on the campaign to restore the word technique to programming (Object Orientated Technique, Rapid Application Technique, Model Driven Technique, the Agile Technique, etc.). I'm sorry but philosophy strikes me as too namby, pamby, liberal arts for me. Have you ever tried to read any philospher? I mean, "Derrida's development of the term deconstruction [...] focuses on problematising the appeal to presence as it occurs in the historical privileging of speech over writing and in phenomenology. This appeal to presence takes the form of an appeal to the full self presence of meaning in the consciousness of the speaking or phenomenological subject. An implication of this argument challenging this form of the appeal to presence - if one is to assume its success (making this assumption without consideration of the actual arguments involved is the most common way that advocates of deconstruction get it wrong) - is that language users can no longer be considered fully in control of the meaning of the language they use" :wtf:
Graham Librarians rule, Ook!
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I think my boss is finally discovering that for prototypes and maybe demos, agile is okay, but if you're doing a production product, you really need design and requirements documentation so that everyone is on the same page as far as what's expected of the application, and who's responsible for which parts.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001Agile development: The notion that if you take enough code monkeys, and have them fling their feces at a board, a useful product will come out of it.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
I think my boss is finally discovering that for prototypes and maybe demos, agile is okay, but if you're doing a production product, you really need design and requirements documentation so that everyone is on the same page as far as what's expected of the application, and who's responsible for which parts.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
I think my boss is finally discovering that for prototypes and maybe demos, agile is okay, but if you're doing a production product, you really need design and requirements documentation so that everyone is on the same page as far as what's expected of the application, and who's responsible for which parts
Do you have user stories? Do you derive programming tasks from said stories and assign them to various developers for implementation? Although in agile there's no such thing as a functional specification (in form of a Word document, etc.) there are story cards which describe a feature in client's words (2-3 sentences) from which you can derive programming tasks and schedule them. Maybe it's not like having a huge document but still looks like some sort of documentation and you still can schedule work and prepare a release plan. In Scrum you have "sprints" which usually last a few (1-3?) weeks during which you work on the schedule for that sprint. How does agile look in your company?
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Marc, do you do Scrum in your company?
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The following quote from the recent article about Microsoft Visual Studio 2010 had the whole office in stitches: "We'll include in the [VSTS] box an Excel workbook for teams that are leveraging, say, the Scrum process so they can get burndown from their project." I'm sorry. Is this some language very similar to, but subtly different from, English or have I accidentally stumbled into a parallel universe? Here in the UK we have this theory that we invented English but not one person in my office had the slightest notion what this author was on about. Discussions as to whether burning down the project is a good or bad idea are ongoing. Keith
Am I reading this correct? I microsoft finally providing tools to burn down your project? They would be the first company that have tools for letting a project fail miserably... I feel a great punchline coming up: This project was made impossible by microsoft. (For you dutch people: Dit project wordt mede onmogelijk gemaakt door...)
WM. My blog
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Marc, do you do Scrum in your company?
Pawel Krakowiak wrote:
Marc, do you do Scrum in your company?
None of my clients have ever come close. Marc
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I do now understand that this is the case but it's a striking example of how some folks seem to go around inventing new words, willy-nilly. I have a suspicion that in many cases it's because they think it sounds trendy, rather than through any actual need. Incidentally, I'm not overly fond of the word "methodology" either. It doesn't feature in my (admittedly aging) Pocket Oxford Dictionary. What's wrong with real words like "technique" or, if you want to be a bit grander, "philosophy"? I realise that I am an old and reactionary dinosaur and that my rants against the inevitable evolution of the English language are in vain, but it keeps me happy on a damp Tuesday morning. Keith
Member 3857771 wrote:
It doesn't feature in my (admittedly aging)
PocketOxford Dictionary.I've found your problem, unless you need a definition of the words 'the', 'to', or 'is' yours is worthlessly small. Admittedly I have a large vocabulary, but I've never found a word I was looking for a definition of in a dictionary that small, or (after primary school) in a textbook sized one. In HS/college my success rate fell below 50% with my parents two 3" coffee table book sized dicts. If it wasn't for the internet I'd have bought at least an 8" one. My HS library had one of those, and I could find *most* of what I was looking for in it.
Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall
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Agile development: The notion that if you take enough code monkeys, and have them fling their feces at a board, a useful product will come out of it.
Software Zen:
delete this;Except that seems to be how most software products are implemented anyhow, regardless of whether they call it "agile" development.
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
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Am I reading this correct? I microsoft finally providing tools to burn down your project? They would be the first company that have tools for letting a project fail miserably... I feel a great punchline coming up: This project was made impossible by microsoft. (For you dutch people: Dit project wordt mede onmogelijk gemaakt door...)
WM. My blog
WillemM wrote:
This project was made impossible by microsoft.
They've been offering that for years - it's called VB.
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
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The following quote from the recent article about Microsoft Visual Studio 2010 had the whole office in stitches: "We'll include in the [VSTS] box an Excel workbook for teams that are leveraging, say, the Scrum process so they can get burndown from their project." I'm sorry. Is this some language very similar to, but subtly different from, English or have I accidentally stumbled into a parallel universe? Here in the UK we have this theory that we invented English but not one person in my office had the slightest notion what this author was on about. Discussions as to whether burning down the project is a good or bad idea are ongoing. Keith
Member 3857771 wrote:
teams that are leveraging, say, the Scrum process
Personally I'd rather not get involved in a programming methodology that requires me to force my head between large men's arses and reach between their legs. [^]
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Member 3857771 wrote:
It doesn't feature in my (admittedly aging)
PocketOxford Dictionary.I've found your problem, unless you need a definition of the words 'the', 'to', or 'is' yours is worthlessly small. Admittedly I have a large vocabulary, but I've never found a word I was looking for a definition of in a dictionary that small, or (after primary school) in a textbook sized one. In HS/college my success rate fell below 50% with my parents two 3" coffee table book sized dicts. If it wasn't for the internet I'd have bought at least an 8" one. My HS library had one of those, and I could find *most* of what I was looking for in it.
Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall
I think pockets were bigger in those days too. My "Pocket" Oxford measures 6"x3" by about 2 inches thick. Keith
