QJOTD

Nagy Vilmos

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.

modified on Thursday, April 23, 2009 9:41 AM

Rage · modified on Thursday, April 23, 2009 9:41 AM

Alison, come out of that body !

hairy_hats

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" "Certainly, sorry about that," says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer." The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!" "Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call." So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money." "I'm always looking for the next job," says the duck. "Where is it?" "At the circus," says the barman. "The circus?" repeats the duck. "That's right," replies the barman. "The circus?" the duck asks again. "That place with the big tent?" "Yeah," the barman replies. "With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck. "Of course," the barman replies. "And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck. "That's right!" says the barman. The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . . . "What on earth would they want with a plasterer?

Dalek Dave · modified on Thursday, April 23, 2009 9:41 AM

I wouldn't crow about that one!

------------------------------------ "I am always serious about what I do, not necessarily about how I do it." Tom Baker

Jim Crafton

Well you know they say, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush...(or something like that)

¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog Just Say No to Web 2 Point Oh

Nagy Vilmos

Is this another of your flights of fancy?

Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.

LittleYellowBird

:laugh: The only body I am in is my own! BTW ....why did the vulture land in the road? Cause the chicken didn't make it. ... or ... What do you get when you cross a raccoon with a skunk? A dirty look from the raccoon. Sorry everyone, :rolleyes: I just can't help myself...

Ali

Jim Crafton

No, I think I've had my wings clipped for now.

¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog Just Say No to Web 2 Point Oh

LittleYellowBird

A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead. :)

Ali

LittleYellowBird

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose! :-D

Ali

Nagy Vilmos

If you can't help yourself then no-one else can! BTW: Q: What did the judge say when three skunks walked into the courtroom? A: "Odor in the Court!"

Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.

Nagy Vilmos

Two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says 'Can you smell fish?'

Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.

Jim Crafton

"No, but can you pass the ketchup please?" Just free-associating here...

¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog Just Say No to Web 2 Point Oh

Jim Crafton

Nonsense, you still have the other hand free, unless it's busy doing something else...

¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog Just Say No to Web 2 Point Oh

Michael Bookatz

servers you right for flying high

Dan Neely

Disagree. The one overhead will probably miss you. The one in your hand is guaranteed to crap on you.

Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall

NormDroid

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Good, and well delivered.

Software Kinetics - Moving software

Dalek Dave

Choking a chicken?

------------------------------------ "I am always serious about what I do, not necessarily about how I do it." Tom Baker

hairy_hats

They sent it out twice without the punchline!

Nagy Vilmos

Is it my tern?

Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.