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Tortoise Monitor Needed

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  • R Roger Wright

    Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

    "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

    H Offline
    H Offline
    hairy_hats
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    Sounds like a hardware project to me.

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    • R Roger Wright

      Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

      "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

      D Offline
      D Offline
      Dalek Dave
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      Would you have to shell out for that?

      ------------------------------------ "When Belly Full, Chin Hit Chest" Confucius 502BC

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      • R Roger Wright

        Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

        "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

        X Offline
        X Offline
        Xiangyang Liu
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        Roger Wright wrote:

        waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor

        I am available to monitor a couple of certified tortoises.

        My .NET Business Application Framework My Home Page My Younger Son & His "PET"

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        • R Roger Wright

          Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

          "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

          D Offline
          D Offline
          Dario Solera
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          And what on Earth is a "tortoise monitor"? :-D

          If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality. - Charlie Brooker My Photos/CP Flickr Group - ScrewTurn Wiki

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          • R Roger Wright

            Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

            "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

            N Offline
            N Offline
            Nagy Vilmos
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            Found one here[^]


            Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.

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            • R Roger Wright

              Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

              "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

              R Offline
              R Offline
              Robert Surtees
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              I'm guessing showing up at the jobsite wearing a hardhat made out of a tortoise shell would be right out.

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              • R Robert Surtees

                I'm guessing showing up at the jobsite wearing a hardhat made out of a tortoise shell would be right out.

                J Offline
                J Offline
                jeffwask
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                Tortoise helmets keep the CIA from broadcasting secret messages directly into your brain.

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                • R Roger Wright

                  Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

                  "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  You need to struggle to overtake a tortoise.

                  Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

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                  • R Roger Wright

                    Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

                    "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                    S Offline
                    S Offline
                    Stuart Dootson
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    This[^] is the only Tortoise monitor I'm aware of ;P

                    Java, Basic, who cares - it's all a bunch of tree-hugging hippy cr*p

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                    • R Robert Surtees

                      I'm guessing showing up at the jobsite wearing a hardhat made out of a tortoise shell would be right out.

                      R Offline
                      R Offline
                      Roger Wright
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      Probably, but I like the way you're thinking. :-D Know where I can buy one? :rolleyes:

                      "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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                      • R Roger Wright

                        Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

                        "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        Steve Mayfield
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        someone who is verrrrry slow... :laugh:

                        Steve _________________ I C(++) therefore I am

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