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Tortoise Monitor Needed

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  • R Roger Wright

    Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

    "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

    D Offline
    D Offline
    Dalek Dave
    wrote on last edited by
    #4

    Would you have to shell out for that?

    ------------------------------------ "When Belly Full, Chin Hit Chest" Confucius 502BC

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    • R Roger Wright

      Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

      "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

      X Offline
      X Offline
      Xiangyang Liu
      wrote on last edited by
      #5

      Roger Wright wrote:

      waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor

      I am available to monitor a couple of certified tortoises.

      My .NET Business Application Framework My Home Page My Younger Son & His "PET"

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      • R Roger Wright

        Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

        "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

        D Offline
        D Offline
        Dario Solera
        wrote on last edited by
        #6

        And what on Earth is a "tortoise monitor"? :-D

        If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality. - Charlie Brooker My Photos/CP Flickr Group - ScrewTurn Wiki

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        • R Roger Wright

          Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

          "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

          N Offline
          N Offline
          Nagy Vilmos
          wrote on last edited by
          #7

          Found one here[^]


          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.

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          • R Roger Wright

            Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

            "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

            R Offline
            R Offline
            Robert Surtees
            wrote on last edited by
            #8

            I'm guessing showing up at the jobsite wearing a hardhat made out of a tortoise shell would be right out.

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            • R Robert Surtees

              I'm guessing showing up at the jobsite wearing a hardhat made out of a tortoise shell would be right out.

              J Offline
              J Offline
              jeffwask
              wrote on last edited by
              #9

              Tortoise helmets keep the CIA from broadcasting secret messages directly into your brain.

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              • R Roger Wright

                Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

                "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #10

                You need to struggle to overtake a tortoise.

                Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

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                • R Roger Wright

                  Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

                  "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                  S Offline
                  S Offline
                  Stuart Dootson
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #11

                  This[^] is the only Tortoise monitor I'm aware of ;P

                  Java, Basic, who cares - it's all a bunch of tree-hugging hippy cr*p

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                  • R Robert Surtees

                    I'm guessing showing up at the jobsite wearing a hardhat made out of a tortoise shell would be right out.

                    R Offline
                    R Offline
                    Roger Wright
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #12

                    Probably, but I like the way you're thinking. :-D Know where I can buy one? :rolleyes:

                    "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

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                    • R Roger Wright

                      Well, the latest twist in my next substation project is that we're on hold, waiting for the federal agency responsible for the project to locate and hire a certified tortoise monitor. Between this fiasco and the ridiculous environmental and cultural reviews, we're already over a year late in starting. What I want to know is, what education and testing are required to become a "certified" tortoise monitor, and what does it pay? I'm thinking that, one day when I'm ready to quit contributing anything useful to the world, this might be an ideal post-retirement occupation. :-D

                      "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                      S Offline
                      S Offline
                      Steve Mayfield
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #13

                      someone who is verrrrry slow... :laugh:

                      Steve _________________ I C(++) therefore I am

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