How to write requirements for this?
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Steps for success. 1. Find an old copy of Access 2000 lying around. 2. Hand it to him. 3. Back slowly out of the room. 4. Bill him $10k for delivering *configurable* software. 5. Drink. 6. Repeat step 5.
1. Find an old copy of Access 2000 lying around. 2. Hand it to him. 3. Back slowly out of the room. 4. Bill him $10k for delivering *configurable* software. 5. Drink. 6. Bill monthly maintenance fee 7. Repeat step 5.
only two letters away from being an asset
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I was going through a preliminary design session with a client who kept saying the application has to be configurable. Me: OK, tell me what that means to you? Client: I have to be able to change the application without calling you. Me: That's fine. What things would you like to be able to change? Client: I don't know what I want to change, I just know I want to change it. :omg: :wtf: I'm glad the weekend is coming.
only two letters away from being an asset
I think I did some work for your client's identical twin, a few years ago. :)
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”
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I was going through a preliminary design session with a client who kept saying the application has to be configurable. Me: OK, tell me what that means to you? Client: I have to be able to change the application without calling you. Me: That's fine. What things would you like to be able to change? Client: I don't know what I want to change, I just know I want to change it. :omg: :wtf: I'm glad the weekend is coming.
only two letters away from being an asset
This is a simple, 2 step process: Step 1: Run Step 2: Don't look back
:..::. Douglas H. Troy ::..
Bad Astronomy |VCF|wxWidgets|WTLmodified on Friday, July 10, 2009 7:56 PM
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I was going through a preliminary design session with a client who kept saying the application has to be configurable. Me: OK, tell me what that means to you? Client: I have to be able to change the application without calling you. Me: That's fine. What things would you like to be able to change? Client: I don't know what I want to change, I just know I want to change it. :omg: :wtf: I'm glad the weekend is coming.
only two letters away from being an asset
The only thing that needs to be changed is the client. Run, don't walk away from this idiot.
"A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"
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I was going through a preliminary design session with a client who kept saying the application has to be configurable. Me: OK, tell me what that means to you? Client: I have to be able to change the application without calling you. Me: That's fine. What things would you like to be able to change? Client: I don't know what I want to change, I just know I want to change it. :omg: :wtf: I'm glad the weekend is coming.
only two letters away from being an asset
Write a programming language for him... :rolleyes:
If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
[My articles] -
I did not and I am sorry if it appeared so. I concluded from your post that you have worked with this client before and successfully completed projects with him. So you might have had similar conclusions.
Mark is just having a rant, if he's been down this path before he knows that every client wants the world and will end up with a patch they can use. And I agree with you, working through the early meetings is the real art of being a developer, it is what supplies the real satisfaction at the end of a project when your client makes the last development payment (aways begrudgingly).
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH
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He seriously asked of I could teach him how to use VS. X|
only two letters away from being an asset
I recently got ragged on by a very senior MD (they have lots) for changing the development language from VB to C#, he cannot read C#, has trouble with the syntax. The development team however have not complained.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH
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The only thing that needs to be changed is the client. Run, don't walk away from this idiot.
"A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"
Hang on, every client has these requirements, make it flexible, I want to add something later, what, I don't know, something. If you quit at every one of these you would starve. You end up using a lot of attribute tables and try not to hard code any data.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH
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He seriously asked of I could teach him how to use VS. X|
only two letters away from being an asset
He seems like a good candidate for "Visual Studio for Dummies". At least the "Dummies" part. :) /ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com
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I was going through a preliminary design session with a client who kept saying the application has to be configurable. Me: OK, tell me what that means to you? Client: I have to be able to change the application without calling you. Me: That's fine. What things would you like to be able to change? Client: I don't know what I want to change, I just know I want to change it. :omg: :wtf: I'm glad the weekend is coming.
only two letters away from being an asset
Give the client a list of things that YOU think ought to me accessible for change within the budget of the application and then ask him if he can think of anything else that he ought to be able to change. Usually, the answer is "no".
m.bergman
-- For Bruce Schneier, quanta only have one state : afraid.
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I was going through a preliminary design session with a client who kept saying the application has to be configurable. Me: OK, tell me what that means to you? Client: I have to be able to change the application without calling you. Me: That's fine. What things would you like to be able to change? Client: I don't know what I want to change, I just know I want to change it. :omg: :wtf: I'm glad the weekend is coming.
only two letters away from being an asset
That is really what people seem to want. I am amazed at how far a client will take configurability. I once had to write a markup language that was strikingly similar to HTML because the client didn't want to have to teach HTML to the data entry people but still wanted full control over layout. The sad part is that if I say no someone else will say yes. There really is no way to avoid the ridiculously stupid when they are signing your checks.
Need custom software developed? I do C# development and consulting all over the United States. A man said to the universe: "Sir I exist!" "However," replied the universe, "The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation." --Stephen Crane
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I was going through a preliminary design session with a client who kept saying the application has to be configurable. Me: OK, tell me what that means to you? Client: I have to be able to change the application without calling you. Me: That's fine. What things would you like to be able to change? Client: I don't know what I want to change, I just know I want to change it. :omg: :wtf: I'm glad the weekend is coming.
only two letters away from being an asset
Hmm. Well, we've seen the standard, knee-jerk (maybe sans knee) developer response -- "Customers are always idiots!" -- but the correct response to your posting is: If you're not getting good answers, you're asking bad questions. It isn't the customer's job to talk your language. If you're customer-facing and writing requirements, it's part of your job to understand him.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I was going through a preliminary design session with a client who kept saying the application has to be configurable. Me: OK, tell me what that means to you? Client: I have to be able to change the application without calling you. Me: That's fine. What things would you like to be able to change? Client: I don't know what I want to change, I just know I want to change it. :omg: :wtf: I'm glad the weekend is coming.
only two letters away from being an asset
Mark Nischalke wrote:
Client: I have to be able to change the application without calling you.
WRONG ANSWER: That's fine. What things would you like to be able to change? CORRECT ANSWER: thats fine i have your number on caller ID it diverts you automatically.
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I was going through a preliminary design session with a client who kept saying the application has to be configurable. Me: OK, tell me what that means to you? Client: I have to be able to change the application without calling you. Me: That's fine. What things would you like to be able to change? Client: I don't know what I want to change, I just know I want to change it. :omg: :wtf: I'm glad the weekend is coming.
only two letters away from being an asset
Make a baseline accounting sum. As in, Ok dude, each configuration change you require will be at $0.10. Then allow client some time to get better prices. When client doesnt (not even from India) and asks you for the application. You compile a color picker control. Then tell him ok, the color picker gives you 16,777,216 color configuarable options. That will be $1,677,720 (you give him 16 free config options) He he
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Make a baseline accounting sum. As in, Ok dude, each configuration change you require will be at $0.10. Then allow client some time to get better prices. When client doesnt (not even from India) and asks you for the application. You compile a color picker control. Then tell him ok, the color picker gives you 16,777,216 color configuarable options. That will be $1,677,720 (you give him 16 free config options) He he
Cripes, he just wants to be able to change the colors. And maybe the background image. He needs a .ini file he can screw around with.
_____________________________ When life hands you marmots, make marmalade.
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Well that's simple. Make a plugin application which loads an assembly. Make one of the default plugins a compiler which automatically adds a reference to your application. Depending on how much you hate them, give them the C++/CLI compiler; if you like them, let them use the C# compiler :-D
Between the idea And the reality Between the motion And the act Falls the Shadow
Computafreak wrote:
Well that's simple. Make a plugin application which loads an assembly. Make one of the default plugins a compiler which automatically adds a reference to your application. Depending on how much you hate them, give them the C++/CLI compiler VB compiler; if you like them, let them use the C# compiler
FTFY
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Well that's simple. Make a plugin application which loads an assembly. Make one of the default plugins a compiler which automatically adds a reference to your application. Depending on how much you hate them, give them the C++/CLI compiler; if you like them, let them use the C# compiler :-D
Between the idea And the reality Between the motion And the act Falls the Shadow
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Mark Nischalke wrote:
I'm glad the weekend is coming.
yeah, and monday is only 2 days away !!! ;P give the client a "real" money estimate for a "full customizable" application; me think he will think twice about asking you to do it.
This signature was proudly tested on animals.
Maximilien wrote:
yeah, and monday is only 2 days away !!! Poke tongue
Monday is the best day of the week, because you know there is a full 7 days until the next Monday!
I hope you realise that hamsters are very creative when it comes to revenge. - Elaine
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I recently got ragged on by a very senior MD (they have lots) for changing the development language from VB to C#, he cannot read C#, has trouble with the syntax. The development team however have not complained.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH
I'm soo glad my boss can't read C#. He just wants to see a working app. It can be threatening, because come review time, he totally disregards any work done that isn't demonstrable, but it also allows me to demo a shallow prototype, and then get kinky with cool tech like LINQ behind the scenes.
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I was going through a preliminary design session with a client who kept saying the application has to be configurable. Me: OK, tell me what that means to you? Client: I have to be able to change the application without calling you. Me: That's fine. What things would you like to be able to change? Client: I don't know what I want to change, I just know I want to change it. :omg: :wtf: I'm glad the weekend is coming.
only two letters away from being an asset
That's just a specific instance of the general principle that customers don't know what they want until you first deliver something that's not what they want. :laugh:
Kevin
