Useless corporate instructions...
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Just got a mail through from the powers that be instructing us on how to save paper whilst printing; which basically listed: * Try printing with more than one page per sheet * Print on both sides of paper Well duh. At the last place I worked, they had instructions, and this is no joke, on how to walk down the stairs. Instructions included: * Take one step at a time * Use the handrails * Don't rush I'm not making this up, these bloody notices were stuck everywhere. Damn suing culture. :mad: I want to reply back instructing them to stop clogging up my ******* inbox with useless information which is wasting my ******* time. But I want to keep this job, so I'll just suck it up. :sigh:
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
Yea the UK is much worse. Once while working as a contractor there, I had to watch a 30 minute saftey video and sign a waiver saying I wouldn't sue if I got carpal tunnel. I highly doubt I would get it in 5 days!!! Although, I should have sued for the crappy television.
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We have a disclaimer that is tacked onto every e-mail stating that you are forbidden to read the message if it was not intended for you. Of course you only get to that part after reading the whole message… :wtf:
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Just got a mail through from the powers that be instructing us on how to save paper whilst printing; which basically listed: * Try printing with more than one page per sheet * Print on both sides of paper Well duh. At the last place I worked, they had instructions, and this is no joke, on how to walk down the stairs. Instructions included: * Take one step at a time * Use the handrails * Don't rush I'm not making this up, these bloody notices were stuck everywhere. Damn suing culture. :mad: I want to reply back instructing them to stop clogging up my ******* inbox with useless information which is wasting my ******* time. But I want to keep this job, so I'll just suck it up. :sigh:
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
A while back there was a case of MRSA[^] and for about 2 months my workplace was plastered with CDC posters captioned "Sharing Isn't Always Caring" and reminding us not to share razors, towels, etc. X| I've wondered since if the suites at the CDC and my company both were aware that the sharing is caring line came from a risque song by Tom Lehrer[^] or if some junior minion pulled a fast one on everyone. :cool:
The latest nation. Procrastination.
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Just got a mail through from the powers that be instructing us on how to save paper whilst printing; which basically listed: * Try printing with more than one page per sheet * Print on both sides of paper Well duh. At the last place I worked, they had instructions, and this is no joke, on how to walk down the stairs. Instructions included: * Take one step at a time * Use the handrails * Don't rush I'm not making this up, these bloody notices were stuck everywhere. Damn suing culture. :mad: I want to reply back instructing them to stop clogging up my ******* inbox with useless information which is wasting my ******* time. But I want to keep this job, so I'll just suck it up. :sigh:
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
Next time you are asked for a report, print it with 42 pages on a sheet. If enough people do so, you may find a change in policy in the future. :-D
"A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"
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Next time you are asked for a report, print it with 42 pages on a sheet. If enough people do so, you may find a change in policy in the future. :-D
"A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"
:laugh: Nice one! I'll have to try that!
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
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A while back there was a case of MRSA[^] and for about 2 months my workplace was plastered with CDC posters captioned "Sharing Isn't Always Caring" and reminding us not to share razors, towels, etc. X| I've wondered since if the suites at the CDC and my company both were aware that the sharing is caring line came from a risque song by Tom Lehrer[^] or if some junior minion pulled a fast one on everyone. :cool:
The latest nation. Procrastination.
dan neely wrote:
and reminding us not to share razors
Does ANYONE share razors at work?? What a stupid thing to say!!!
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
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Just got a mail through from the powers that be instructing us on how to save paper whilst printing; which basically listed: * Try printing with more than one page per sheet * Print on both sides of paper Well duh. At the last place I worked, they had instructions, and this is no joke, on how to walk down the stairs. Instructions included: * Take one step at a time * Use the handrails * Don't rush I'm not making this up, these bloody notices were stuck everywhere. Damn suing culture. :mad: I want to reply back instructing them to stop clogging up my ******* inbox with useless information which is wasting my ******* time. But I want to keep this job, so I'll just suck it up. :sigh:
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
ROFL All of the posts in this thread have me ROFL. TFF! :laugh: :thumbsup:
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Just got a mail through from the powers that be instructing us on how to save paper whilst printing; which basically listed: * Try printing with more than one page per sheet * Print on both sides of paper Well duh. At the last place I worked, they had instructions, and this is no joke, on how to walk down the stairs. Instructions included: * Take one step at a time * Use the handrails * Don't rush I'm not making this up, these bloody notices were stuck everywhere. Damn suing culture. :mad: I want to reply back instructing them to stop clogging up my ******* inbox with useless information which is wasting my ******* time. But I want to keep this job, so I'll just suck it up. :sigh:
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
1.21 Gigawatts wrote:
* Try printing with more than one page per sheet
We have the exact opposite posted! Turns out that our management saves every piece of paper and tries to get us to put it in our laser printers and copiers to reuse the other side. This is a big no-no since the first laser/copy pass curls the paper slightly, and that's not to mention the staples (!) and mutilated holes where they once lived that also decimate our equipment. All because they asked a copier tech once if we are allowed to use 'recycled' paper in our machines... :wtf: X|
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dan neely wrote:
and reminding us not to share razors
Does ANYONE share razors at work?? What a stupid thing to say!!!
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
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Just in case we forget how to wash our hands a notice above the sinks reminds us:- - Wet - Soap - Wash - Rinse - Dry It also includes pictures of how to do all of these for those that can't read or just can't remember what soap is.
Ours includes another step, to help stop the spread of Swine Flu. Use a paper towel to turn off the tap. This generic poster is in every loo, including the small one that only has a hand-dryer, no paper towels...
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Thou art expostulating theological doctrine to the temple criers :)
The latest nation. Procrastination.
dan neely wrote:
Thou art expostulating theological doctrine to the temple criers
Brilliant line :)
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine Allen -
Just got a mail through from the powers that be instructing us on how to save paper whilst printing; which basically listed: * Try printing with more than one page per sheet * Print on both sides of paper Well duh. At the last place I worked, they had instructions, and this is no joke, on how to walk down the stairs. Instructions included: * Take one step at a time * Use the handrails * Don't rush I'm not making this up, these bloody notices were stuck everywhere. Damn suing culture. :mad: I want to reply back instructing them to stop clogging up my ******* inbox with useless information which is wasting my ******* time. But I want to keep this job, so I'll just suck it up. :sigh:
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
The best one I saw was instructions on what to do in case of fire in a Maracaibo, Venezuela office where I worked for years. On the bullet list it said "No se quite la ropa." which translates to "Don't take off your clothes." I always wondered if that was really a problem. I never would have thought about taking my clothes off in case of a fire, but to each their own, I guess ...
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
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dan neely wrote:
Thou art expostulating theological doctrine to the temple criers
Brilliant line :)
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine Allen -
Just got a mail through from the powers that be instructing us on how to save paper whilst printing; which basically listed: * Try printing with more than one page per sheet * Print on both sides of paper Well duh. At the last place I worked, they had instructions, and this is no joke, on how to walk down the stairs. Instructions included: * Take one step at a time * Use the handrails * Don't rush I'm not making this up, these bloody notices were stuck everywhere. Damn suing culture. :mad: I want to reply back instructing them to stop clogging up my ******* inbox with useless information which is wasting my ******* time. But I want to keep this job, so I'll just suck it up. :sigh:
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
It all started some years back when that ding bat spilled coffee in her lap at a drive thru and sued McDonalds or B/K or whoever. Nowadays c-stores have signs warning you that the coffee is hot, the floor is wet, that gas is flammable, etc. Some places even lowered the temp on their coffee. I outsmarted them though: I pour the coffee then stick it in a microwave. I'm a trucker, and a company I worked for - in the interest of safety - put these "Get Out and Look" signs on the rear view mirrors. Yep, you had to get out and look. The sign blocked a third of the mirror. Almost got fired for pulling mine off. What a world we live in... :-D
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Just got a mail through from the powers that be instructing us on how to save paper whilst printing; which basically listed: * Try printing with more than one page per sheet * Print on both sides of paper Well duh. At the last place I worked, they had instructions, and this is no joke, on how to walk down the stairs. Instructions included: * Take one step at a time * Use the handrails * Don't rush I'm not making this up, these bloody notices were stuck everywhere. Damn suing culture. :mad: I want to reply back instructing them to stop clogging up my ******* inbox with useless information which is wasting my ******* time. But I want to keep this job, so I'll just suck it up. :sigh:
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
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:-D Wish I could claim to've originated it; I don't recall where I stole it from.
The latest nation. Procrastination.
modified on Wednesday, September 2, 2009 3:26 PM
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1.21 Gigawatts wrote:
* Try printing with more than one page per sheet
We have the exact opposite posted! Turns out that our management saves every piece of paper and tries to get us to put it in our laser printers and copiers to reuse the other side. This is a big no-no since the first laser/copy pass curls the paper slightly, and that's not to mention the staples (!) and mutilated holes where they once lived that also decimate our equipment. All because they asked a copier tech once if we are allowed to use 'recycled' paper in our machines... :wtf: X|
We ended up trashing 3 nice big workgroup type printers over a period of 2 years due to all the accumulated ink and garbage falling off the "recycled" paper. Our savings of a few reams of paper cost about $22000. At $40/box for paper, that's a lot of paper we had to save.
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Stairs are a primary accident spot. So safety says 'use the hand rails'. Have you noticed how few people take this simple advice? Even our president needs this message since he fails to use hand rails! Don't know about the 'save paper' message though!
Even our president needs this message since he fails to use hand rails! This and the previous couple of presidents have failed to do a lot of things. ;-)
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Just got a mail through from the powers that be instructing us on how to save paper whilst printing; which basically listed: * Try printing with more than one page per sheet * Print on both sides of paper Well duh. At the last place I worked, they had instructions, and this is no joke, on how to walk down the stairs. Instructions included: * Take one step at a time * Use the handrails * Don't rush I'm not making this up, these bloody notices were stuck everywhere. Damn suing culture. :mad: I want to reply back instructing them to stop clogging up my ******* inbox with useless information which is wasting my ******* time. But I want to keep this job, so I'll just suck it up. :sigh:
"...great scott!" Dilbert: Aren't all meetings like this... Richard Dawkins: "What if you're wrong?"
We have hand washing instructions in the rest rooms. Wet Hands... Lather... etc. I think it's some plot from the CMMI team to put a process on everything.
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Ours includes another step, to help stop the spread of Swine Flu. Use a paper towel to turn off the tap. This generic poster is in every loo, including the small one that only has a hand-dryer, no paper towels...
We have sanitizing dispensers all over the building so the employees can sanitize their hands after a cough or sneeze to prevent the spread of flu. They are all empty since the company discovered that employees would bring in their own personal dispensers at no expense to the company if the dispensers were empty. I am waiting for the signs in the restrooms asking employees to use both sides of the sheet of toilet paper to save money.