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Did I really just say that?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
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  • P Offline
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    Pete OHanlon
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio: 1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.' 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.' 3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!' 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..' 5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!! What have I just said??' 6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.' 7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! 8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.' 9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. ' 10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.' 11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.' 12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

    "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

    As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

    My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | On

    R L J 4 Replies Last reply
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    • P Pete OHanlon

      12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio: 1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.' 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.' 3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!' 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..' 5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!! What have I just said??' 6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.' 7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! 8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.' 9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. ' 10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.' 11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.' 12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

      "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

      As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | On

      R Offline
      R Offline
      R Giskard Reventlov
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Doesn't matter how many times I see these they're always funny. :thumbsup:

      me, me, me "The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space program. And if we become extinct because we don't have a space program, it'll serve us right!" Larry Niven nils illegitimus carborundum

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      • P Pete OHanlon

        12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio: 1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.' 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.' 3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!' 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..' 5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!! What have I just said??' 6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.' 7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! 8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.' 9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. ' 10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.' 11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.' 12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

        "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

        As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | On

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Brilliant.But you've omitted the most famous (and one of the best IMO). 13. "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" Brian Johnston commentating when Michael Holding of the West Indies was bowling to Peter Willey of England in a Test match at The Oval in 1976.

        D 1 Reply Last reply
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        • L Lost User

          Brilliant.But you've omitted the most famous (and one of the best IMO). 13. "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" Brian Johnston commentating when Michael Holding of the West Indies was bowling to Peter Willey of England in a Test match at The Oval in 1976.

          D Offline
          D Offline
          Dalek Dave
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          'Whispering' Ted Lowe at the Embassey Snooker Finals... "Davis is contemplating whether to go for the easy pink or the difficult brown"

          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • P Pete OHanlon

            12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio: 1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.' 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.' 3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!' 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..' 5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!! What have I just said??' 6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.' 7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! 8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.' 9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. ' 10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.' 11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.' 12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

            "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

            As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | On

            J Offline
            J Offline
            J4amieC
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            How did they miss out "The batsmen's Holding, the bowler's Willy."

            D P 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • J J4amieC

              How did they miss out "The batsmen's Holding, the bowler's Willy."

              D Offline
              D Offline
              Dalek Dave
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Er... Pompeyboy said it about 10 minutes earlier

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

              J 1 Reply Last reply
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              • D Dalek Dave

                Er... Pompeyboy said it about 10 minutes earlier

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

                J Offline
                J Offline
                J4amieC
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Indeed...thats why you don't open a page, go make a cup of tea and answer when you get back.

                D 1 Reply Last reply
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                • J J4amieC

                  Indeed...thats why you don't open a page, go make a cup of tea and answer when you get back.

                  D Offline
                  D Offline
                  Dalek Dave
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  I think we have all done it! :)

                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • J J4amieC

                    How did they miss out "The batsmen's Holding, the bowler's Willy."

                    P Offline
                    P Offline
                    Pete OHanlon
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    They also missed out the seminal Johnny Cradock: "if you follow the recipe, all your doughnuts will look like Fanny's!'"

                    "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

                    As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

                    My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • P Pete OHanlon

                      12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio: 1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.' 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.' 3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!' 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..' 5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!! What have I just said??' 6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.' 7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! 8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.' 9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. ' 10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.' 11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.' 12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

                      "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

                      As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

                      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | On

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      There is also the two Australian TV presenters discussing riddles. The male says to the female host: "I have a hard one for you..." They both were incapable of speach for about 5 minutes. Of course, the trick is to realise you are about to say a double entrendre and just go ahead anyway, with a very slightly ammused expression.

                      Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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