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  3. Best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe

Best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • R R Giskard Reventlov

    Nick Helm's password joke is Edinburgh Fringe funniest[^]. I thought numbers 5 and 10 the funniest.

    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

    R Offline
    R Offline
    Rhuros
    wrote on last edited by
    #5

    Yeah thought 2, 5 & 10 were funnier....

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • D Dalek Dave

      I lost one of my chess pieces recently. Luckily there is a pawn shop near me.

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #6

      Dalek Dave wrote:

      Luckily there is a pawn shop near me.

      So, there must be a stable too?

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • D Dalek Dave

        I lost one of my chess pieces recently. Luckily there is a pawn shop near me.

        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #7

        They're crooks

        MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

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        • L Lost User

          They're crooks

          MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

          N Offline
          N Offline
          Nagy Vilmos
          wrote on last edited by
          #8

          But I'm safe in my Castle!


          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

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          • D Dalek Dave

            I lost one of my chess pieces recently. Luckily there is a pawn shop near me.

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

            CPalliniC Offline
            CPalliniC Offline
            CPallini
            wrote on last edited by
            #9

            But that doesn't answer my question so now I'm stale, mate. :)

            If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
            This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
            [My articles]

            In testa che avete, signor di Ceprano?

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • N Nagy Vilmos

              But I'm safe in my Castle!


              Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

              D Offline
              D Offline
              Dalek Dave
              wrote on last edited by
              #10

              As an atheist I often attack the clergy. But, this time, I shall resist the urge to bash the bishop.

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

              N 1 Reply Last reply
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              • D Dalek Dave

                As an atheist I often attack the clergy. But, this time, I shall resist the urge to bash the bishop.

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                N Offline
                N Offline
                Nagy Vilmos
                wrote on last edited by
                #11

                Across the Kingdom people agree that was a bad pun.


                Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • R R Giskard Reventlov

                  Nick Helm's password joke is Edinburgh Fringe funniest[^]. I thought numbers 5 and 10 the funniest.

                  "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #12

                  10 then 5. 3 and 6 are re-hashed (but then I am very, very old).

                  Truth, Justice ... or the American way? - Trad.

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                  • CPalliniC CPallini

                    Do you study chess? Could you please suggest me a good book for starting?

                    If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                    This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                    [My articles]

                    0 Offline
                    0 Offline
                    0bx
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #13

                    I don't use books myself, but I suggest you get some good training software. Chess mentor is a series of challenges, covering all aspects of the game in depth from complete newb, through tactics to advanced strategic concepts. It's expensive, but contains about a thousand pages of theory to explain all the challenges, so it's worth more than 10 books imo. You learn 99% of the game by practicing tactics, which you can do for free here. Furthermore you need a strong chess engine like Fritz and Rybka; it can analyse the games you played and give you clues on where you went wrong. It usually comes with a giant database with a lot of games you can study and an opening book for reference. Finally, hit the chess Youtube channels. Jerry from the ChessNetwork for example has a series of strong games which he analyses with you in 30 minute video's as well as playing blitz games with live commentary. There are some others, but I can't remember the from the top of my head. You can really learn a lot from those people.

                    Giraffes are not real.

                    CPalliniC 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • 0 0bx

                      I don't use books myself, but I suggest you get some good training software. Chess mentor is a series of challenges, covering all aspects of the game in depth from complete newb, through tactics to advanced strategic concepts. It's expensive, but contains about a thousand pages of theory to explain all the challenges, so it's worth more than 10 books imo. You learn 99% of the game by practicing tactics, which you can do for free here. Furthermore you need a strong chess engine like Fritz and Rybka; it can analyse the games you played and give you clues on where you went wrong. It usually comes with a giant database with a lot of games you can study and an opening book for reference. Finally, hit the chess Youtube channels. Jerry from the ChessNetwork for example has a series of strong games which he analyses with you in 30 minute video's as well as playing blitz games with live commentary. There are some others, but I can't remember the from the top of my head. You can really learn a lot from those people.

                      Giraffes are not real.

                      CPalliniC Offline
                      CPalliniC Offline
                      CPallini
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #14

                      Thank you very much. :)

                      If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                      This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                      [My articles]

                      In testa che avete, signor di Ceprano?

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • N Nagy Vilmos

                        But I'm safe in my Castle!


                        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #15

                        Stop horseing around (*I know, I know - it's not called a hose! Better call it a night)

                        MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

                        N 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • L Lost User

                          Stop horseing around (*I know, I know - it's not called a hose! Better call it a night)

                          MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

                          N Offline
                          N Offline
                          Nagy Vilmos
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #16

                          Aren't you the bitchy queen today!


                          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                          L 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • R R Giskard Reventlov

                            Nick Helm's password joke is Edinburgh Fringe funniest[^]. I thought numbers 5 and 10 the funniest.

                            "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                            W Offline
                            W Offline
                            wizardzz
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #17

                            I made it a goal to perform there someday. I am glad to see a local funnyman made the top 3 (#3 Buress), however, it is not a great joke.

                            "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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                            • N Nagy Vilmos

                              Aren't you the bitchy queen today!


                              Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #18

                              I read your reply by email this morning, and without e context I couldn't remember what I had posted last night! Next ti e I'll write a draght first, to checkers right

                              MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • R R Giskard Reventlov

                                Nick Helm's password joke is Edinburgh Fringe funniest[^]. I thought numbers 5 and 10 the funniest.

                                "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                                B Offline
                                B Offline
                                Brendan Costigan
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #19

                                2012[^]

                                All round good guy.

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