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  3. Best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe

Best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • D Dalek Dave

    I lost one of my chess pieces recently. Luckily there is a pawn shop near me.

    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

    CPalliniC Offline
    CPalliniC Offline
    CPallini
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    But that doesn't answer my question so now I'm stale, mate. :)

    If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
    This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
    [My articles]

    In testa che avete, signor di Ceprano?

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    • N Nagy Vilmos

      But I'm safe in my Castle!


      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

      D Offline
      D Offline
      Dalek Dave
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      As an atheist I often attack the clergy. But, this time, I shall resist the urge to bash the bishop.

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

      N 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • D Dalek Dave

        As an atheist I often attack the clergy. But, this time, I shall resist the urge to bash the bishop.

        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

        N Offline
        N Offline
        Nagy Vilmos
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        Across the Kingdom people agree that was a bad pun.


        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

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        • R R Giskard Reventlov

          Nick Helm's password joke is Edinburgh Fringe funniest[^]. I thought numbers 5 and 10 the funniest.

          "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          10 then 5. 3 and 6 are re-hashed (but then I am very, very old).

          Truth, Justice ... or the American way? - Trad.

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          • CPalliniC CPallini

            Do you study chess? Could you please suggest me a good book for starting?

            If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
            This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
            [My articles]

            0 Offline
            0 Offline
            0bx
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            I don't use books myself, but I suggest you get some good training software. Chess mentor is a series of challenges, covering all aspects of the game in depth from complete newb, through tactics to advanced strategic concepts. It's expensive, but contains about a thousand pages of theory to explain all the challenges, so it's worth more than 10 books imo. You learn 99% of the game by practicing tactics, which you can do for free here. Furthermore you need a strong chess engine like Fritz and Rybka; it can analyse the games you played and give you clues on where you went wrong. It usually comes with a giant database with a lot of games you can study and an opening book for reference. Finally, hit the chess Youtube channels. Jerry from the ChessNetwork for example has a series of strong games which he analyses with you in 30 minute video's as well as playing blitz games with live commentary. There are some others, but I can't remember the from the top of my head. You can really learn a lot from those people.

            Giraffes are not real.

            CPalliniC 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • 0 0bx

              I don't use books myself, but I suggest you get some good training software. Chess mentor is a series of challenges, covering all aspects of the game in depth from complete newb, through tactics to advanced strategic concepts. It's expensive, but contains about a thousand pages of theory to explain all the challenges, so it's worth more than 10 books imo. You learn 99% of the game by practicing tactics, which you can do for free here. Furthermore you need a strong chess engine like Fritz and Rybka; it can analyse the games you played and give you clues on where you went wrong. It usually comes with a giant database with a lot of games you can study and an opening book for reference. Finally, hit the chess Youtube channels. Jerry from the ChessNetwork for example has a series of strong games which he analyses with you in 30 minute video's as well as playing blitz games with live commentary. There are some others, but I can't remember the from the top of my head. You can really learn a lot from those people.

              Giraffes are not real.

              CPalliniC Offline
              CPalliniC Offline
              CPallini
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              Thank you very much. :)

              If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
              This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
              [My articles]

              In testa che avete, signor di Ceprano?

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • N Nagy Vilmos

                But I'm safe in my Castle!


                Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                Stop horseing around (*I know, I know - it's not called a hose! Better call it a night)

                MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

                N 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • L Lost User

                  Stop horseing around (*I know, I know - it's not called a hose! Better call it a night)

                  MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

                  N Offline
                  N Offline
                  Nagy Vilmos
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  Aren't you the bitchy queen today!


                  Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                  L 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • R R Giskard Reventlov

                    Nick Helm's password joke is Edinburgh Fringe funniest[^]. I thought numbers 5 and 10 the funniest.

                    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                    W Offline
                    W Offline
                    wizardzz
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    I made it a goal to perform there someday. I am glad to see a local funnyman made the top 3 (#3 Buress), however, it is not a great joke.

                    "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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                    • N Nagy Vilmos

                      Aren't you the bitchy queen today!


                      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      I read your reply by email this morning, and without e context I couldn't remember what I had posted last night! Next ti e I'll write a draght first, to checkers right

                      MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • R R Giskard Reventlov

                        Nick Helm's password joke is Edinburgh Fringe funniest[^]. I thought numbers 5 and 10 the funniest.

                        "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                        B Offline
                        B Offline
                        Brendan Costigan
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        2012[^]

                        All round good guy.

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