Coming out of the closet
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Congratulations. I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that... Granted, I live in a very liberal area, so it's really a non-issue here.
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)Ian Shlasko wrote:
I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that
Neither have I. But when my best friend came out of the closet, my response without any thought was: "I'm not going to stop making gay jokes just because of that", which in hindsight seems to have been the right answer. But you know what? I basically did stop telling them. They have to be really good to be worth telling nowadays. And gays knows all the jokes already.
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I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.
I have a couple of friends that are gay, and their experience was that it's worse to tell people the closer they are. But keep in mind that the friends that doesn't accept it, aren't worth having as friends! Family is worse, but if they love you they will accept it. When my best friend finally scraped together enough guts to tell his family, his father told him: We've known for years son, I'm happy you have found yourself.
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I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.
with all respect bud, you are Ravel, gay or straight. that's all that matters. it's you for you. how's things where you are? :) (pours you some coffee).
///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#
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ahmed zahmed wrote:
Why should his being gay matter?
It does.
ahmed zahmed wrote:
To anyone
To the person concerned.
ahmed zahmed wrote:
It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently than anyone else.
I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.
============================== Nothing to say.
Fat__Eric wrote:
ahmed zahmed wrote:
Why should his being gay matter?
It does.
ahmed zahmed wrote:
To anyone
To the person concerned.
ahmed zahmed wrote:
It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently
than anyone else.I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.
I can't speak for anyone else except me and my "circle of friends" on this topic. "why does it matter", as he's still the Ravel we know. It's not like he turned into a incrediable hulk or said he was concervative right winger. we look at him for "him". For Ravel though it's a big deal as he can be open about it and feel like he doesn't need to "hide". and don't say hetros aren't open about theirs as I've seen "tail" waggings. and people do try to hide "themselves" as lets face it, the human race is a bunch idiots and chastise anything and everything that's different, so can make things hard. I congratulate Ravel in his openness and able to take his "breath" but also letting him know, he's still a good bud to chat with and I think him non the different.
///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#
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ahmed zahmed wrote:
Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.
Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society, I can see the utility in not surrendering and hiding away out of sight. Ideally, yes, it shouldn't matter. But it does.
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Thanks for that, it makes no difference to anyone here you know. But, firstly, I know it can be difficult to admit it at first, (I have gay and Lesbian friends who had terrible trouble admitting it), so well done. Secondly, unless people are living in the middle ages (or the 1950's or Croydon), it is of little matter. I am a Fat, Middle-aged, Conservative Man with a nasty drug habit (Smoke, Drink and Eat Cheese), it is who I am. Your sexuality is your own concern. Whatever, young dude, just be yourself and don't go screaming queen on us. (Even amongst my Gay friends, they dislike Screaming Queens). So long as whatever you do is legal, consensual and nobody is hurt, who gives a tinker's cuss?
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Dalek Dave wrote:
Secondly, unless people are living in the middle ages (or the 1950's or Croydon), it is of little matter.
It certainly matters quite a deal in a significant and perhaps majority of the world. Some of the more 'civilized' places at least provide the facade of making it illegal rather than just leaving one to the mob. There are some countries where it seems more acceptable and accepted but certainly in the US there are large numbers of people who react negatively and some times in extreme ways to it. The only bright spot there is that it appears that those numbers are shrinking.
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Political, have you tried telling your mother? Diplomacy is required. Although when my friend Biggles came out, he stood in the pub and said "I just need to clear the air and let you all know that I am gay". We all stood, shocked. Shocked that he felt he had to tell us, we all knew.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
my Cousin was slowly "coming out" to family, hadn't told me yet ( course wasn't hard to tell, and I know a lot of people). he was suppose to give me a ride, but he wanted to go out to the club, made him nervous that I wanted to go as well ( my favorite pub was near where he was going, I just didn't say that part). turned whiter when I said "yah, I'l even come in for a few beers" (I really need to learn about mentioning details quicker). :-\
///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#
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Bi - No probs Dim - we all are from time to time. Offensive - Regularly, like me. Wrong - Wait a moment...
Fat__Eric wrote:
I am actually English, though I prefer the French
See, Wrong! And it is also a choice. :)
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Dalek Dave wrote:
Fat__Eric wrote:
I am actually English, though I prefer the French
See, Wrong!
And it is also a choice. :)likes his cake and eats it too. ( if this was inoprop, let me know / block it, I'm sorry, they started it. )
///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#
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digital man wrote:
and?
I'm an atheist. ;P
digital man wrote:
p.s. No future Ravels?
Well, that remains to be seen.
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
digital man wrote:
and?
I'm an atheist. ;-P
atheist? that's it get out... ( joking, )
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
digital man wrote:
p.s. No future Ravels?
Well, that remains to be seen.
who knows, you may even adopt. not like kids are a big deal, some are for them, some aren't.
///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#
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"The Lounge is a place where you can discuss anything that takes your fancy." It is for people to talk about things that are going on in their life. Ravel obviously feels the need to tells us this as part of accepting who he is. The least you can do is offer a bit of support for what is a difficult but important statement.
============================== Nothing to say.
As my friends in the UK are fond of saying - Bollocks!
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
No, it was rude.
I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.
Noooo... I'M the rude one (and I haven't decided yet if I'm going to be, but I'm leaning toward it).
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
Congratulations. I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that... Granted, I live in a very liberal area, so it's really a non-issue here.
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)Ian Shlasko wrote:
I live in a very liberal area
I don't...
Ian Shlasko wrote:
I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that...
We have pamphlets down here in Texas. I can send you one (although if you're a liberal, it may offend you).
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.
After reading all of the congratulatory rhetoric, I'm going to step up and be the person everyone expects me to be. Why do you people feel the need to announce your abhorrent proclivities on a programming forum? After all, we straight folks don't announce it or throw it in anyone else's faces. If you think you're gay, hey - that's okay with me, but I don't think it's necessary to tell me about it (you should have posted this in the soapbox where I rarely go if you didn't want my opinion on the matter). I think it's a freakish lifestyle, and I really don't want to hear about it. I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear (and I'll probably get 1-bombed for being honest), but "damn the torpedoes...", and all that.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
Fat__Eric wrote:
ahmed zahmed wrote:
Why should his being gay matter?
It does.
ahmed zahmed wrote:
To anyone
To the person concerned.
ahmed zahmed wrote:
It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently
than anyone else.I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.
I can't speak for anyone else except me and my "circle of friends" on this topic. "why does it matter", as he's still the Ravel we know. It's not like he turned into a incrediable hulk or said he was concervative right winger. we look at him for "him". For Ravel though it's a big deal as he can be open about it and feel like he doesn't need to "hide". and don't say hetros aren't open about theirs as I've seen "tail" waggings. and people do try to hide "themselves" as lets face it, the human race is a bunch idiots and chastise anything and everything that's different, so can make things hard. I congratulate Ravel in his openness and able to take his "breath" but also letting him know, he's still a good bud to chat with and I think him non the different.
///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#
Thanks for making my point.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun -
Thanks for making my point.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braunwell, it's not that you were "against" him. you weren't nor were you a bad man for it. You were just treating him the same guy as he ever was (least in my view). and like I said, some people aren't as open minded and would take issue or worse which is said thing. I however also support him, in his "coming out" and "moving along", as for some, it's a hard task. as for the topic itself, it's valid for the lounge just as much as JSOP's talk about guns and arsenal (and yes John, your arsenal does look big in those pants). ( pass around the coffee)... now if he said he was a PHP programmer, I'd bug him alot.
///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#
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Bi - No probs Dim - we all are from time to time. Offensive - Regularly, like me. Wrong - Wait a moment...
Fat__Eric wrote:
I am actually English, though I prefer the French
See, Wrong! And it is also a choice. :)
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Dalek Dave wrote:
Fat__Eric wrote:
I am actually English, though I prefer the French
See, Wrong!
And it is also a choice. :)He could have came out like this[^]
///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#
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I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.
Who cares? :rolleyes:
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes -
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
I'm an atheist
But you share a middle initial with Jesus.
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
Well, that remains to be seen
So we'll have to wait for the future to unravel?
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
ChrisElston wrote:
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
I'm an atheist
But you share a middle initial with Jesus.
My name (first and last) means "Christ-bearer Jewish", how's that for a name not fitting an atheist? (Not to mention somewhat of a contradiction...and if you include my middle name it just becomes nonsense...)
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I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.
I'm pretty happy, too.
MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')
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After reading all of the congratulatory rhetoric, I'm going to step up and be the person everyone expects me to be. Why do you people feel the need to announce your abhorrent proclivities on a programming forum? After all, we straight folks don't announce it or throw it in anyone else's faces. If you think you're gay, hey - that's okay with me, but I don't think it's necessary to tell me about it (you should have posted this in the soapbox where I rarely go if you didn't want my opinion on the matter). I think it's a freakish lifestyle, and I really don't want to hear about it. I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear (and I'll probably get 1-bombed for being honest), but "damn the torpedoes...", and all that.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
Why do you people feel the need to announce your abhorrent proclivities on a programming forum?
You mean like every post in the lounge, SB or BR? :) Oh come on, you are the first to post about guns on this, a programming forum, yet when another member choses to post about his life you object. Those are double standards you have there.
John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
After all, we straight folks don't announce it or throw it in anyone else's faces.
In fact we all exhibit our sexual tastes through what we post, from DDs post about a male driver fondling the breasts of his female companion to other inoffensive comments. (And note Ravel is not posting pictures of nice looking guys with associated comments. If he did that you would really take ofrfense, yet hetros do this frequently here) It is the fact that it is often not socially acceptable to be gay that gives rise to the need for gays to make proclamations such as this. I wish they didnt have to, I wish society didnt put such pressure on them that they felt the need to do so. And by calling it a freakish lifestyle you are prolonging that necessity. :) (And it isnt freakish at all, it has been common throughout human history for millenia)
============================== Nothing to say.
