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  3. Coming out of the closet

Coming out of the closet

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

    OK. I feel it important to announce that I'm heterosexual. I'm a guy who loves women. Thank you for your support. Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.

    If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
    You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

    S Offline
    S Offline
    soap brain
    wrote on last edited by
    #95

    ahmed zahmed wrote:

    Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.

    Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society, I can see the utility in not surrendering and hiding away out of sight. Ideally, yes, it shouldn't matter. But it does.

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    • L Lost User

      It is more comfortable to sit on with her tail?

      Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

      L Offline
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      LittleYellowBird
      wrote on last edited by
      #96

      Ouch! :rolleyes:

      Ali

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      • S soap brain

        Alison P wrote:

        Great! Does that mean you can advise me on soft furnishings? ;)

        Well, if you're in the market for bad advice, sure! ;P

        Alison P wrote:

        Sorry, you know I have to turn everything into a joke!

        I love that quality in a person.

        Alison P wrote:

        ... except maybe the odd cushion question.

        Orange! No, purple! With lace! :-D

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        LittleYellowBird
        wrote on last edited by
        #97

        Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

        Orange!
        No, purple!
        With lace!

        Hmmm .... I'll come back to you on that! ;) :-D

        Ali

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        • S soap brain

          I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

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          Single Step Debugger
          wrote on last edited by
          #98

          IMHO everybody here are gay some why or another.

          There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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          • L Lost User

            Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

            I'm an atheist

            But you share a middle initial with Jesus.

            Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

            Well, that remains to be seen

            So we'll have to wait for the future to unravel?

            Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

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            AspDotNetDev
            wrote on last edited by
            #99

            No matter the outcome, there will be reason to rejoyce.

            Martin Fowler wrote:

            Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

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            • S soap brain

              ahmed zahmed wrote:

              Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.

              Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society, I can see the utility in not surrendering and hiding away out of sight. Ideally, yes, it shouldn't matter. But it does.

              P Offline
              P Offline
              Pete OHanlon
              wrote on last edited by
              #100

              Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

              when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society

              What, developing on Windows?

              Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

              My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility

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              • S soap brain

                wizardzz wrote:

                Did you recently come out in your life, too? Or is this just a CP outing?

                I've told a few people in real life. Nobody in my family, though.

                wizardzz wrote:

                Also, where is your italicized quote in your profile from?

                Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths[^]

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                T Offline
                TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                wrote on last edited by
                #101

                Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths[^]

                That's damned hilarious! I love this quote: "Either way, there will be anguish and sorrow at some unknown point." As well as the one in your profile. LMAO

                If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
                You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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                • S soap brain

                  ahmed zahmed wrote:

                  You want a medal or something?

                  Well, that wasn't my aim, but I wouldn't say 'no'...

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                  T Offline
                  TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #102

                  LOL. I didn't really think so. It saddens me though that you are made to feel the need to "announce" anything. It shouldn't be that way. One should be accepted and loved and cared about for who they are. I hope your life is happy as can be.

                  If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
                  You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • A AspDotNetDev

                    No matter the outcome, there will be reason to rejoyce.

                    Martin Fowler wrote:

                    Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

                    T Offline
                    T Offline
                    TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #103

                    AspDotNetDev wrote:

                    rejoyce

                    Snort! :laugh: :laugh: 5!

                    If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
                    You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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                    • I Ian Shlasko

                      Congratulations. I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that... Granted, I live in a very liberal area, so it's really a non-issue here.

                      Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                      Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

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                      J Offline
                      Jorgen Andersson
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #104

                      Ian Shlasko wrote:

                      I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that

                      Neither have I. But when my best friend came out of the closet, my response without any thought was: "I'm not going to stop making gay jokes just because of that", which in hindsight seems to have been the right answer. But you know what? I basically did stop telling them. They have to be really good to be worth telling nowadays. And gays knows all the jokes already.

                      List of common misconceptions

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                      • S soap brain

                        I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

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                        J Offline
                        Jorgen Andersson
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #105

                        I have a couple of friends that are gay, and their experience was that it's worse to tell people the closer they are. But keep in mind that the friends that doesn't accept it, aren't worth having as friends! Family is worse, but if they love you they will accept it. When my best friend finally scraped together enough guts to tell his family, his father told him: We've known for years son, I'm happy you have found yourself.

                        List of common misconceptions

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                        • S soap brain

                          I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

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                          CalvinHobbies
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #106

                          with all respect bud, you are Ravel, gay or straight. that's all that matters. it's you for you. how's things where you are? :) (pours you some coffee).

                          ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                          • L Lost User

                            ahmed zahmed wrote:

                            Why should his being gay matter?

                            It does.

                            ahmed zahmed wrote:

                            To anyone

                            To the person concerned.

                            ahmed zahmed wrote:

                            It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently than anyone else.

                            I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.

                            ============================== Nothing to say.

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                            C Offline
                            CalvinHobbies
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #107

                            Fat__Eric wrote:

                            ahmed zahmed wrote:

                            Why should his being gay matter?

                            It does.

                            ahmed zahmed wrote:

                            To anyone

                            To the person concerned.

                            ahmed zahmed wrote:

                            It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently
                            than anyone else.

                            I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.

                            I can't speak for anyone else except me and my "circle of friends" on this topic. "why does it matter", as he's still the Ravel we know. It's not like he turned into a incrediable hulk or said he was concervative right winger. we look at him for "him". For Ravel though it's a big deal as he can be open about it and feel like he doesn't need to "hide". and don't say hetros aren't open about theirs as I've seen "tail" waggings. and people do try to hide "themselves" as lets face it, the human race is a bunch idiots and chastise anything and everything that's different, so can make things hard. I congratulate Ravel in his openness and able to take his "breath" but also letting him know, he's still a good bud to chat with and I think him non the different.

                            ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                            • S soap brain

                              ahmed zahmed wrote:

                              Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.

                              Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society, I can see the utility in not surrendering and hiding away out of sight. Ideally, yes, it shouldn't matter. But it does.

                              J Offline
                              J Offline
                              jschell
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #108

                              Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                              Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society

                              ...in societies.

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                              • D Dalek Dave

                                Thanks for that, it makes no difference to anyone here you know. But, firstly, I know it can be difficult to admit it at first, (I have gay and Lesbian friends who had terrible trouble admitting it), so well done. Secondly, unless people are living in the middle ages (or the 1950's or Croydon), it is of little matter. I am a Fat, Middle-aged, Conservative Man with a nasty drug habit (Smoke, Drink and Eat Cheese), it is who I am. Your sexuality is your own concern. Whatever, young dude, just be yourself and don't go screaming queen on us. (Even amongst my Gay friends, they dislike Screaming Queens). So long as whatever you do is legal, consensual and nobody is hurt, who gives a tinker's cuss?

                                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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                                J Offline
                                jschell
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #109

                                Dalek Dave wrote:

                                Secondly, unless people are living in the middle ages (or the 1950's or Croydon), it is of little matter.

                                It certainly matters quite a deal in a significant and perhaps majority of the world. Some of the more 'civilized' places at least provide the facade of making it illegal rather than just leaving one to the mob. There are some countries where it seems more acceptable and accepted but certainly in the US there are large numbers of people who react negatively and some times in extreme ways to it. The only bright spot there is that it appears that those numbers are shrinking.

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                                • D Dalek Dave

                                  Political, have you tried telling your mother? Diplomacy is required. Although when my friend Biggles came out, he stood in the pub and said "I just need to clear the air and let you all know that I am gay". We all stood, shocked. Shocked that he felt he had to tell us, we all knew.

                                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                                  C Offline
                                  C Offline
                                  CalvinHobbies
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #110

                                  my Cousin was slowly "coming out" to family, hadn't told me yet ( course wasn't hard to tell, and I know a lot of people). he was suppose to give me a ride, but he wanted to go out to the club, made him nervous that I wanted to go as well ( my favorite pub was near where he was going, I just didn't say that part). turned whiter when I said "yah, I'l even come in for a few beers" (I really need to learn about mentioning details quicker). :-\

                                  ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                                  • D Dalek Dave

                                    Bi - No probs Dim - we all are from time to time. Offensive - Regularly, like me. Wrong - Wait a moment...

                                    Fat__Eric wrote:

                                    I am actually English, though I prefer the French

                                    See, Wrong! And it is also a choice. :)

                                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                                    C Offline
                                    C Offline
                                    CalvinHobbies
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #111

                                    Dalek Dave wrote:

                                    Fat__Eric wrote:

                                    I am actually English, though I prefer the French

                                    See, Wrong!
                                     
                                    And it is also a choice. :)

                                    likes his cake and eats it too. ( if this was inoprop, let me know / block it, I'm sorry, they started it. )

                                    ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                                    • S soap brain

                                      digital man wrote:

                                      and?

                                      I'm an atheist. ;P

                                      digital man wrote:

                                      p.s. No future Ravels?

                                      Well, that remains to be seen.

                                      C Offline
                                      C Offline
                                      CalvinHobbies
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #112

                                      Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                                      digital man wrote:

                                      and?

                                      I'm an atheist. ;-P

                                      atheist? that's it get out... ( joking, )

                                      Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                                      digital man wrote:

                                      p.s. No future Ravels?

                                      Well, that remains to be seen.

                                      who knows, you may even adopt. not like kids are a big deal, some are for them, some aren't.

                                      ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                                      • L Lost User

                                        "The Lounge is a place where you can discuss anything that takes your fancy." It is for people to talk about things that are going on in their life. Ravel obviously feels the need to tells us this as part of accepting who he is. The least you can do is offer a bit of support for what is a difficult but important statement.

                                        ============================== Nothing to say.

                                        realJSOPR Offline
                                        realJSOPR Offline
                                        realJSOP
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #113

                                        As my friends in the UK are fond of saying - Bollocks!

                                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                        -----
                                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                        -----
                                        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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                                        • F fjdiewornncalwe

                                          No, it was rude.

                                          I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.

                                          realJSOPR Offline
                                          realJSOPR Offline
                                          realJSOP
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #114

                                          Noooo... I'M the rude one (and I haven't decided yet if I'm going to be, but I'm leaning toward it).

                                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                          -----
                                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                          -----
                                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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