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  3. Coming out of the closet

Coming out of the closet

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • W wizardzz

    Well, goodluck Ravel. I hope things go well with your family, if/when you decide to tell them. BTW, that Onion article is incredible. Wow, thanks for sharing it.

    "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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    soap brain
    wrote on last edited by
    #91

    wizardzz wrote:

    I hope things go well with your family, if/when you decide to tell them.

    Thanks. I already know that they'll be all right with it, and in some ways that removes the pressure to tell them...

    wizardzz wrote:

    BTW, that Onion article is incredible. Wow, thanks for sharing it.

    I know, right?! It's easily one of the best things I've ever read. :-D

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    • L Lost User

      Dalek Dave wrote:

      You told us all a while ago you were Bi

      Many moons ago...

      Dalek Dave wrote:

      you for being dim

      Oh my god! Dim! You cant be serious! :O

      Dalek Dave wrote:

      offensive

      Glad you noticed. :)

      Dalek Dave wrote:

      wrong

      Now you are taking the piss! :O

      Dalek Dave wrote:

      Being French, yes, that was a choice!

      I am actually English, though I prefer the French. :)

      ============================== Nothing to say.

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      soap brain
      wrote on last edited by
      #92

      Fat__Eric wrote:

      I am actually English, though I prefer the French.

      :wtf:

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      • S soap brain

        Gary Wheeler wrote:

        'Congratulations!' somehow seems awkward, but it does convey my best wishes.

        :) Well, thank you all the same.

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        Gary Wheeler
        wrote on last edited by
        #93

        By 'awkward' I also meant 'inadequate'. I don't know the etiquette for coming out announcements ;).

        Software Zen: delete this;

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        • G Gary Wheeler

          By 'awkward' I also meant 'inadequate'. I don't know the etiquette for coming out announcements ;).

          Software Zen: delete this;

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          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #94

          Well I think as DD said some time ago, the most normal response is "Yeah we know", cos whilst the outee has been struggling with it for some time everyone else has just taken it for granted and got on with things.

          Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

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          • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

            OK. I feel it important to announce that I'm heterosexual. I'm a guy who loves women. Thank you for your support. Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.

            If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
            You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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            soap brain
            wrote on last edited by
            #95

            ahmed zahmed wrote:

            Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.

            Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society, I can see the utility in not surrendering and hiding away out of sight. Ideally, yes, it shouldn't matter. But it does.

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            • L Lost User

              It is more comfortable to sit on with her tail?

              Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

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              LittleYellowBird
              wrote on last edited by
              #96

              Ouch! :rolleyes:

              Ali

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              • S soap brain

                Alison P wrote:

                Great! Does that mean you can advise me on soft furnishings? ;)

                Well, if you're in the market for bad advice, sure! ;P

                Alison P wrote:

                Sorry, you know I have to turn everything into a joke!

                I love that quality in a person.

                Alison P wrote:

                ... except maybe the odd cushion question.

                Orange! No, purple! With lace! :-D

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                LittleYellowBird
                wrote on last edited by
                #97

                Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                Orange!
                No, purple!
                With lace!

                Hmmm .... I'll come back to you on that! ;) :-D

                Ali

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                • S soap brain

                  I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

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                  Single Step Debugger
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #98

                  IMHO everybody here are gay some why or another.

                  There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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                  • L Lost User

                    Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                    I'm an atheist

                    But you share a middle initial with Jesus.

                    Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                    Well, that remains to be seen

                    So we'll have to wait for the future to unravel?

                    Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

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                    AspDotNetDev
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #99

                    No matter the outcome, there will be reason to rejoyce.

                    Martin Fowler wrote:

                    Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

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                    • S soap brain

                      ahmed zahmed wrote:

                      Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.

                      Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society, I can see the utility in not surrendering and hiding away out of sight. Ideally, yes, it shouldn't matter. But it does.

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                      Pete OHanlon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #100

                      Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                      when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society

                      What, developing on Windows?

                      Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility

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                      • S soap brain

                        wizardzz wrote:

                        Did you recently come out in your life, too? Or is this just a CP outing?

                        I've told a few people in real life. Nobody in my family, though.

                        wizardzz wrote:

                        Also, where is your italicized quote in your profile from?

                        Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths[^]

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                        TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #101

                        Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                        Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths[^]

                        That's damned hilarious! I love this quote: "Either way, there will be anguish and sorrow at some unknown point." As well as the one in your profile. LMAO

                        If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
                        You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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                        • S soap brain

                          ahmed zahmed wrote:

                          You want a medal or something?

                          Well, that wasn't my aim, but I wouldn't say 'no'...

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                          TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #102

                          LOL. I didn't really think so. It saddens me though that you are made to feel the need to "announce" anything. It shouldn't be that way. One should be accepted and loved and cared about for who they are. I hope your life is happy as can be.

                          If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
                          You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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                          • A AspDotNetDev

                            No matter the outcome, there will be reason to rejoyce.

                            Martin Fowler wrote:

                            Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

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                            TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #103

                            AspDotNetDev wrote:

                            rejoyce

                            Snort! :laugh: :laugh: 5!

                            If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
                            You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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                            • I Ian Shlasko

                              Congratulations. I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that... Granted, I live in a very liberal area, so it's really a non-issue here.

                              Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                              Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

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                              Jorgen Andersson
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #104

                              Ian Shlasko wrote:

                              I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that

                              Neither have I. But when my best friend came out of the closet, my response without any thought was: "I'm not going to stop making gay jokes just because of that", which in hindsight seems to have been the right answer. But you know what? I basically did stop telling them. They have to be really good to be worth telling nowadays. And gays knows all the jokes already.

                              List of common misconceptions

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                              • S soap brain

                                I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

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                                Jorgen Andersson
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #105

                                I have a couple of friends that are gay, and their experience was that it's worse to tell people the closer they are. But keep in mind that the friends that doesn't accept it, aren't worth having as friends! Family is worse, but if they love you they will accept it. When my best friend finally scraped together enough guts to tell his family, his father told him: We've known for years son, I'm happy you have found yourself.

                                List of common misconceptions

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                                • S soap brain

                                  I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

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                                  CalvinHobbies
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #106

                                  with all respect bud, you are Ravel, gay or straight. that's all that matters. it's you for you. how's things where you are? :) (pours you some coffee).

                                  ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                                  • L Lost User

                                    ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                    Why should his being gay matter?

                                    It does.

                                    ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                    To anyone

                                    To the person concerned.

                                    ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                    It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently than anyone else.

                                    I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.

                                    ============================== Nothing to say.

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                                    CalvinHobbies
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #107

                                    Fat__Eric wrote:

                                    ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                    Why should his being gay matter?

                                    It does.

                                    ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                    To anyone

                                    To the person concerned.

                                    ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                    It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently
                                    than anyone else.

                                    I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.

                                    I can't speak for anyone else except me and my "circle of friends" on this topic. "why does it matter", as he's still the Ravel we know. It's not like he turned into a incrediable hulk or said he was concervative right winger. we look at him for "him". For Ravel though it's a big deal as he can be open about it and feel like he doesn't need to "hide". and don't say hetros aren't open about theirs as I've seen "tail" waggings. and people do try to hide "themselves" as lets face it, the human race is a bunch idiots and chastise anything and everything that's different, so can make things hard. I congratulate Ravel in his openness and able to take his "breath" but also letting him know, he's still a good bud to chat with and I think him non the different.

                                    ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                                    • S soap brain

                                      ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                      Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.

                                      Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society, I can see the utility in not surrendering and hiding away out of sight. Ideally, yes, it shouldn't matter. But it does.

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                                      jschell
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #108

                                      Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                                      Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society

                                      ...in societies.

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                                      • D Dalek Dave

                                        Thanks for that, it makes no difference to anyone here you know. But, firstly, I know it can be difficult to admit it at first, (I have gay and Lesbian friends who had terrible trouble admitting it), so well done. Secondly, unless people are living in the middle ages (or the 1950's or Croydon), it is of little matter. I am a Fat, Middle-aged, Conservative Man with a nasty drug habit (Smoke, Drink and Eat Cheese), it is who I am. Your sexuality is your own concern. Whatever, young dude, just be yourself and don't go screaming queen on us. (Even amongst my Gay friends, they dislike Screaming Queens). So long as whatever you do is legal, consensual and nobody is hurt, who gives a tinker's cuss?

                                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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                                        jschell
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #109

                                        Dalek Dave wrote:

                                        Secondly, unless people are living in the middle ages (or the 1950's or Croydon), it is of little matter.

                                        It certainly matters quite a deal in a significant and perhaps majority of the world. Some of the more 'civilized' places at least provide the facade of making it illegal rather than just leaving one to the mob. There are some countries where it seems more acceptable and accepted but certainly in the US there are large numbers of people who react negatively and some times in extreme ways to it. The only bright spot there is that it appears that those numbers are shrinking.

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                                        • D Dalek Dave

                                          Political, have you tried telling your mother? Diplomacy is required. Although when my friend Biggles came out, he stood in the pub and said "I just need to clear the air and let you all know that I am gay". We all stood, shocked. Shocked that he felt he had to tell us, we all knew.

                                          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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                                          CalvinHobbies
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #110

                                          my Cousin was slowly "coming out" to family, hadn't told me yet ( course wasn't hard to tell, and I know a lot of people). he was suppose to give me a ride, but he wanted to go out to the club, made him nervous that I wanted to go as well ( my favorite pub was near where he was going, I just didn't say that part). turned whiter when I said "yah, I'l even come in for a few beers" (I really need to learn about mentioning details quicker). :-\

                                          ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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