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  3. My Wife is Funny

My Wife is Funny

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • realJSOPR realJSOP

    We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #119

    The amazing thing is that given the amazing level of ignorance that exists in your part of the world you still need to import labour to do menial tasks like carrying furniture. Go figure.

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    • M Mel Padden

      Fair enough - I will recant. Although, strictly speaking he brought her into it so... they were both laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing of someone earning probably a tenth of what they earn, trying to help them out, so do you mind if I modify it by calling them both morally bereft sinkholes of the human spirit who should take a look at themselves in the mirror before this irate Paddy gets the next flight to Texas, with the express intention of fetching them both a clip about the ear and telling them to mind their manners? I mean, seriously. The problem with behaviour like this is that the people who are doing it always seem to think it's somehow justified by their own petty frustrations, people are out of work so why are these guys here, why should I have to listen to Spanish in my own store, and solipsistic twaddle like that. It behoves the rest of us to administer a forum-friendly slapinthefacewithawetfish, if you ask me. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/5267392.stm[^] Go forth ye fish-wielding vigilantes.

      Smokie, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. www.geticeberg.com http://melpadden.wordpress.com

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      BillWoodruff
      wrote on last edited by
      #120

      "laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing" That was eloquence incarnate, Mel. Do you write fiction ? Would like to correspond with you if you are seriously pursuing creative writing. thanks, Bill "I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography." Steven Wright

      "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." Miss Piggy"

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      • B BillWoodruff

        "laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing" That was eloquence incarnate, Mel. Do you write fiction ? Would like to correspond with you if you are seriously pursuing creative writing. thanks, Bill "I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography." Steven Wright

        "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." Miss Piggy"

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        Mel Padden
        wrote on last edited by
        #121

        It's something I've genuinely considered from time to time, mostly because of comments like the one you just made. The sorry truth is that I've been much much too busy working, paying bills, falling in and out of love with a succession of winsome damsels, going from contract to contract, messing around in various musical endeavours, fartarsing around in general and being weak-minded enough to let life get in the way to seriously give it a stab. The thing is, it is probably the one thing I'm really good at. I'm a pretty good coder, a pretty good musician, but going on empirical evidence it is my language lobe that is strongest. So, (theatrical sigh) I kind of take out my literary frustrations in my online correspondence, emails and such. So I guess in a twisted way I'm just like our friend in Texas. Except I don't speak .45ACP. (Sound of palm hitting forehead). Email me if you will, I'd be interested in making contact. mel dot padden at gmail dot com

        Smokie, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. www.geticeberg.com http://melpadden.wordpress.com

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        • G GuyThiebaut

          As long as you exclude the UK from your definition of Europe. Most British people just speak English and Foreign - Foreign being shouting and speaking more slowly :laugh:

          Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.(Winston Churchill)
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          BobJanova
          wrote on last edited by
          #122

          Many Welsh and Gaelic Scots speak two languages, even without counting people with a foreign second language (it was compulsory in school up until very recently and most people still learn one).

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          • T Tom Deketelaere

            Albert Holguin wrote:

            you know, most people in Europe speak 3-4 languages

            Hmmm not really. The french refuse to speak anything but French. The Germans might also speak English but not much. The Spaniards might also speak English. There really is only one country where we learn 3-4 languages and that's only half the country then. (Belgium, you know the one without a government ;P ) For the record I speak: Dutch, English, French and German.

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            cptKoala
            wrote on last edited by
            #123

            Tom Deketelaere wrote:

            (Belgium, you know the one without a government ;-P )

            We still haven't got one? I stopped caring about 300 days ago...

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            • realJSOPR realJSOP

              We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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              wizardzz
              wrote on last edited by
              #124

              I'll translate for you: "Careful, this is the Gringo that scared my wife at a garage sale!" "Oh, I have heard of him, he was the inspiration for Walker, Texas Ranger!" "Maybe we should pack up and move back home to be safe?" Both: "Hahahahaha" It's fun to learn just enough to be able to turn to your other and carry on a topical conversation when this happens. They will assume you know Spanish and stop.

              "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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              • L Lost User

                The amazing thing is that given the amazing level of ignorance that exists in your part of the world you still need to import labour to do menial tasks like carrying furniture. Go figure.

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                wizardzz
                wrote on last edited by
                #125

                Ever experience rush hour traffic at a public housing complex?

                "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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                • W wizardzz

                  Ever experience rush hour traffic at a public housing complex?

                  "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #126

                  No but I don't think I've ever been to one

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                  • L Lost User

                    No but I don't think I've ever been to one

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                    wizardzz
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #127

                    You'd understand why we let people move here to work for cheap.

                    "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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                    • W wizardzz

                      You'd understand why we let people move here to work for cheap.

                      "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #128

                      So you let uneducated foreigners in to do the heavy lifting and then expect them to learn English. Good luck with that!

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                      • L Lost User

                        So you let uneducated foreigners in to do the heavy lifting and then expect them to learn English. Good luck with that!

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                        wizardzz
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #129

                        Haha, I don't expect anyone to learn English if they don't have to, and if they have a higher work ethic than our poor citizens freeloading on a government that they feel owes them something, come on over! America was built on, and continues to be built on, people coming here for opportunities they don't have at home, if a portion of our citizenship fails to see the opportunities presented to them we should cut their dependency on Uncle Sam. I'm first generation U.S. born on my mother's side BTW. I think you may have missed the point of my initial comment.

                        "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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                        • W wizardzz

                          Haha, I don't expect anyone to learn English if they don't have to, and if they have a higher work ethic than our poor citizens freeloading on a government that they feel owes them something, come on over! America was built on, and continues to be built on, people coming here for opportunities they don't have at home, if a portion of our citizenship fails to see the opportunities presented to them we should cut their dependency on Uncle Sam. I'm first generation U.S. born on my mother's side BTW. I think you may have missed the point of my initial comment.

                          "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #130

                          No I got your point. I didn't expect Texas would have much welfare but there you go. I am also the child of immigrants - in fact my mother became a citizen last eel after 30+ years here. I've also lived in a country where I don't speak the lingo which can be pretty intimidating.

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                          • L Lost User

                            No I got your point. I didn't expect Texas would have much welfare but there you go. I am also the child of immigrants - in fact my mother became a citizen last eel after 30+ years here. I've also lived in a country where I don't speak the lingo which can be pretty intimidating.

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                            wizardzz
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #131

                            I'm not in Texas. Mexican immigrants don't just stay in border states and some government programs are run from the federal level. Immigrants do tend to move to blue state urban centers, though, which are also hubs of welfare recipients. At least that's what I've seen firsthand, which brings to plain view the contrast of the willing to work immigrants and unwilling to work citizens.

                            "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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                            • W wizardzz

                              I'm not in Texas. Mexican immigrants don't just stay in border states and some government programs are run from the federal level. Immigrants do tend to move to blue state urban centers, though, which are also hubs of welfare recipients. At least that's what I've seen firsthand, which brings to plain view the contrast of the willing to work immigrants and unwilling to work citizens.

                              "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #132

                              wizardzz wrote:

                              unwilling to work citizens

                              It's no different here, they're usually the first to shout "...MY COUNTRY..." "..they SHOULD learn English..." and my personal favourite "...it's UNAUSTRALIAN..." whatever that means

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