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BJOTD

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
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  • R Offline
    R Offline
    Roger Allen
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Ford has announced plans to acquire French automaker Renault and engineering teams have already joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be able to find it, let alone turn it on, even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though, that can be a real bitch to start in the morning. Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over. New models are initially fun to own but very costly to maintain and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price but quickly have an increased appetite for fuel and mysteriously the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases. This model will not increase in value or reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one and replace it as needed as they depreciate rapidly.

    If you vote me down, my score will only get lower

    L 1 Reply Last reply
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    • R Roger Allen

      Ford has announced plans to acquire French automaker Renault and engineering teams have already joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be able to find it, let alone turn it on, even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though, that can be a real bitch to start in the morning. Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over. New models are initially fun to own but very costly to maintain and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price but quickly have an increased appetite for fuel and mysteriously the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases. This model will not increase in value or reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one and replace it as needed as they depreciate rapidly.

      If you vote me down, my score will only get lower

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      You forgot to add that the car must be as short as possible and that there may be no room for estimates where it begins or ends. Both the front and the rear must be in plain sight, otherwise getting in or out of a parking gap will be impossible. And you made a mistake: That car already exists. Here it is![^]. They should have named it 'Car for people without any ability to think in three dimensions or judge distances', but that would have been too long.

      I'm invincible, I can't be vinced

      OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
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      • L Lost User

        You forgot to add that the car must be as short as possible and that there may be no room for estimates where it begins or ends. Both the front and the rear must be in plain sight, otherwise getting in or out of a parking gap will be impossible. And you made a mistake: That car already exists. Here it is![^]. They should have named it 'Car for people without any ability to think in three dimensions or judge distances', but that would have been too long.

        I'm invincible, I can't be vinced

        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriff
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        I Think you mean this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkWf4crJ9uI[^] it's topless! (SFW, but may cause projectile vomiting if you have to drive it)

        Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water

        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
        "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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        • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

          I Think you mean this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkWf4crJ9uI[^] it's topless! (SFW, but may cause projectile vomiting if you have to drive it)

          Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Can't follow the link right now. At work the Online Gestapo will be onto me in no time if I try to go there :)

          I'm invincible, I can't be vinced

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          • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

            I Think you mean this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkWf4crJ9uI[^] it's topless! (SFW, but may cause projectile vomiting if you have to drive it)

            Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water

            L Offline
            L Offline
            Lost User
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Now I'm home And I have seen it. Nope, I meant this Smart[^] which is even shorter.

            I'm invincible, I can't be vinced

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