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Most ridiculous client request

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  • J Jacquers

    What is the most ridiculous request you have received from a client? Today in a meeting while demoing the software (a WPF application) the customer complained about the fact that the checkbox ticks fade in and out when you click on them. Apparently it isn't instant enough. It's the closest I've come to just getting up and walking out of a meeting. :doh: btw, found out that the checkbox behavior is to do with the windows theme (windows 7) and just the standard way it works, but I will be able to re-template it and make it like the client wants.

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    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #10

    "The client gave us a Access-database with an example of what he wants. The thing is, it's password-protected, so we can't look at the queries and the tables. Can you open it?"

    Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss:

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    • J Jacquers

      It's a very demanding client and they frequently make silly requests like this. Silly in the sense that it has almost nothing to do with if the product actually works or not or that nobody else would even think of wanting to change unrelated details like this. Quite frustrating. But yes, he will be getting the bill for his feature request.

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      R Giskard Reventlov
      wrote on last edited by
      #11

      Welcome to the real world. In over 20 years I've yet to be in a demo meeting at which at least one user was more concerned with a font size/color than they were about the functionality and fitness for purpose of whatever was being shown. If it wasn't for users this would be the greatest job ever.

      "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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      • J Jacquers

        What is the most ridiculous request you have received from a client? Today in a meeting while demoing the software (a WPF application) the customer complained about the fact that the checkbox ticks fade in and out when you click on them. Apparently it isn't instant enough. It's the closest I've come to just getting up and walking out of a meeting. :doh: btw, found out that the checkbox behavior is to do with the windows theme (windows 7) and just the standard way it works, but I will be able to re-template it and make it like the client wants.

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        peterchen
        wrote on last edited by
        #12

        This is a good sign People, when asked for a review, will tend to critizise the worst aspect they see first. If it's Tüddelkram, it means the rest of the application is OK. If, OTOH, they say "it's fine", they haven't understood either the question or the problem.

        FILETIME to time_t
        | FoldWithUs! | sighist | WhoIncludes - Analyzing C++ include file hierarchy

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        • R R Giskard Reventlov

          Welcome to the real world. In over 20 years I've yet to be in a demo meeting at which at least one user was more concerned with a font size/color than they were about the functionality and fitness for purpose of whatever was being shown. If it wasn't for users this would be the greatest job ever.

          "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #13

          Mate of mine created a new system years ago, brilliant thing it was, quite revolutionary for the company, demoed it to the management. When they finished there was a silence for a while before one of them said "A bit blue isn't it?". That was the sum total of the feedback.

          Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends. Shed Petition[^]

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          • J Jacquers

            What is the most ridiculous request you have received from a client? Today in a meeting while demoing the software (a WPF application) the customer complained about the fact that the checkbox ticks fade in and out when you click on them. Apparently it isn't instant enough. It's the closest I've come to just getting up and walking out of a meeting. :doh: btw, found out that the checkbox behavior is to do with the windows theme (windows 7) and just the standard way it works, but I will be able to re-template it and make it like the client wants.

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            Lost User
            wrote on last edited by
            #14

            There was a question posted in QA some while ago by someone building a shopping cart system for their business. He wanted to know what he needed to do to allow customers to pay for their (internet) purchases by cash.

            speaking as ...

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            • P peterchen

              This is a good sign People, when asked for a review, will tend to critizise the worst aspect they see first. If it's Tüddelkram, it means the rest of the application is OK. If, OTOH, they say "it's fine", they haven't understood either the question or the problem.

              FILETIME to time_t
              | FoldWithUs! | sighist | WhoIncludes - Analyzing C++ include file hierarchy

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              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #15

              peterchen wrote:

              If, OTOH, they say "it's fine", they haven't understood either the question or the problem.

              Unless they're a woman in which case "it's fine" means you have been a complete bastard in their mind and if you talk to them again you are going to get torn apart so just leave it OK.

              Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends. Shed Petition[^]

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              • J Jacquers

                Haha, I wouldn't be surprised if I did get requests like those!

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                Mark_Wallace
                wrote on last edited by
                #16

                Well, if you haven't fixed 4387 by tomorrow morning, you and I will have a problem.

                I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

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                • J Jacquers

                  What is the most ridiculous request you have received from a client? Today in a meeting while demoing the software (a WPF application) the customer complained about the fact that the checkbox ticks fade in and out when you click on them. Apparently it isn't instant enough. It's the closest I've come to just getting up and walking out of a meeting. :doh: btw, found out that the checkbox behavior is to do with the windows theme (windows 7) and just the standard way it works, but I will be able to re-template it and make it like the client wants.

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                  Kevin Marois
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #17

                  Years back I worked for Northup Grumman at the Naval base at Point Loma, CA. I worked on a Visual FoxPro app that track ships, planes, and subs. We eventually did an at-sea demo on board the USS Corondao. In the demo with the captain, he said (no really, he did), "When there's a sub, I want to hear 'You have a sub', just like AOL's 'You have mail'". I about fell outta my chair laughing so hard.

                  If it's not broken, fix it until it is

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                  • L Lost User

                    There was a question posted in QA some while ago by someone building a shopping cart system for their business. He wanted to know what he needed to do to allow customers to pay for their (internet) purchases by cash.

                    speaking as ...

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                    lewax00
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #18

                    Just yesterday someone in QA wanted "java code to show core functionality of spiderman".

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                    • L lewax00

                      Just yesterday someone in QA wanted "java code to show core functionality of spiderman".

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                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #19

                      Yes, I saw that, gave me a :laugh: .

                      speaking as ...

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                      • J Jacquers

                        What is the most ridiculous request you have received from a client? Today in a meeting while demoing the software (a WPF application) the customer complained about the fact that the checkbox ticks fade in and out when you click on them. Apparently it isn't instant enough. It's the closest I've come to just getting up and walking out of a meeting. :doh: btw, found out that the checkbox behavior is to do with the windows theme (windows 7) and just the standard way it works, but I will be able to re-template it and make it like the client wants.

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                        RugbyLeague
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #20

                        I was showing a client my database analysis software and explaining the query logic using "And", "Or" and "Not" She pondered the possibilities for a while before asking "Can we have 'But' too"

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                        • P peterchen

                          This is a good sign People, when asked for a review, will tend to critizise the worst aspect they see first. If it's Tüddelkram, it means the rest of the application is OK. If, OTOH, they say "it's fine", they haven't understood either the question or the problem.

                          FILETIME to time_t
                          | FoldWithUs! | sighist | WhoIncludes - Analyzing C++ include file hierarchy

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                          Forogar
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #21

                          I assume that by "Tüddelkram" you means small stuff, nothing important?

                          - Life in the fast lane is only fun if you live in a country with no speed limits. - Of all the things I have lost, it is my mind that I miss the most. - I vaguely remember having a good memory...

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                          • E Ennis Ray Lynch Jr

                            A web based (html) point of sale client that could handle credit card transactions on the fly with no access to the internet and no install.

                            Need custom software developed? I do custom programming based primarily on MS tools with an emphasis on C# development and consulting. I also do Android Programming as I find it a refreshing break from the MS. "And they, since they Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs" -- Robert Frost

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                            RJOberg
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #22

                            Hey! I have that request right now! We have tablets in the field and we need them to query back and get information from the servers. Plus they need to have access to Google and Bing maps just incase MapPoint has the wrong location for an address (this happens more than I would like to admit). The tablet has no data connection, they aren't part of the domain so can't VPN in even if you had a wifi connection. Did you ever figure out how to get your PoS client working? If so, send code plz! Urgent! Best I have had so far is to send people with USB sticks and carrier pigeons. I can't figure out how to get the data back though since the person is on the move.

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                            • J Jacquers

                              What is the most ridiculous request you have received from a client? Today in a meeting while demoing the software (a WPF application) the customer complained about the fact that the checkbox ticks fade in and out when you click on them. Apparently it isn't instant enough. It's the closest I've come to just getting up and walking out of a meeting. :doh: btw, found out that the checkbox behavior is to do with the windows theme (windows 7) and just the standard way it works, but I will be able to re-template it and make it like the client wants.

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                              David Crow
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #23

                              Sounds as though they found nothing legitimate to "complain" about so rather than go home empty handed, they dug deep and offered the unrelated comment about the checkbox. You could look at this as a compliment.

                              "One man's wage rise is another man's price increase." - Harold Wilson

                              "Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it." - Michael Simmons

                              "Show me a community that obeys the Ten Commandments and I'll show you a less crowded prison system." - Anonymous

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                              • J Jacquers

                                What is the most ridiculous request you have received from a client? Today in a meeting while demoing the software (a WPF application) the customer complained about the fact that the checkbox ticks fade in and out when you click on them. Apparently it isn't instant enough. It's the closest I've come to just getting up and walking out of a meeting. :doh: btw, found out that the checkbox behavior is to do with the windows theme (windows 7) and just the standard way it works, but I will be able to re-template it and make it like the client wants.

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                                Chris C B
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #24

                                Jacquers wrote:

                                What is the most ridiculous request you have received from a client?

                                Some years ago I wrote a subscription management system for an small international publisher, who did no business 'in country', so VAT was not applicable, although I offered to include it, for a fee, in my original proposal. Then whoops! Cyprus joined the EU, and suddenly VAT for EU based customers was applicable. At the end of an intense three hour meeting, where they laid out exactly what they wanted in terms of VAT charging, reporting, transferring to the accounting program etcetera, the lead guy on the client side said: "This is only a small change, and I would like you to do it without charge." After that, not only did I charge like a wounded rhinoceros, but I billed him for the three hour briefing as well. :laugh:

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                                • F Forogar

                                  I assume that by "Tüddelkram" you means small stuff, nothing important?

                                  - Life in the fast lane is only fun if you live in a country with no speed limits. - Of all the things I have lost, it is my mind that I miss the most. - I vaguely remember having a good memory...

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                                  peterchen
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #25

                                  Exactly ;) There's probably a perfect English word for that, but as I considered it recognizable from the context, I thought why not German?

                                  FILETIME to time_t
                                  | FoldWithUs! | sighist | WhoIncludes - Analyzing C++ include file hierarchy

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                                  • J Jacquers

                                    What is the most ridiculous request you have received from a client? Today in a meeting while demoing the software (a WPF application) the customer complained about the fact that the checkbox ticks fade in and out when you click on them. Apparently it isn't instant enough. It's the closest I've come to just getting up and walking out of a meeting. :doh: btw, found out that the checkbox behavior is to do with the windows theme (windows 7) and just the standard way it works, but I will be able to re-template it and make it like the client wants.

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                                    Tim Groven
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #26

                                    On a small application we were working on, we got a ticket put in by one of the users. In the time picker field, it doesn't change from AM to PM or back when going from 12 to 1. :laugh: :laugh:

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                                    • M Mark_Wallace

                                      Well, if you haven't fixed 4387 by tomorrow morning, you and I will have a problem.

                                      I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

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                                      Vark111
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #27

                                      He'll roll that change out at midnight local time.

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                                      • L Lost User

                                        Mate of mine created a new system years ago, brilliant thing it was, quite revolutionary for the company, demoed it to the management. When they finished there was a silence for a while before one of them said "A bit blue isn't it?". That was the sum total of the feedback.

                                        Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends. Shed Petition[^]

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                                        R Giskard Reventlov
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #28

                                        Elephanting unbelievable that they allow people that thick anywhere near an office! We should be in charge, not the users!!! :-)

                                        "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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                                        • J Jacquers

                                          What is the most ridiculous request you have received from a client? Today in a meeting while demoing the software (a WPF application) the customer complained about the fact that the checkbox ticks fade in and out when you click on them. Apparently it isn't instant enough. It's the closest I've come to just getting up and walking out of a meeting. :doh: btw, found out that the checkbox behavior is to do with the windows theme (windows 7) and just the standard way it works, but I will be able to re-template it and make it like the client wants.

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                                          W Balboos GHB
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #29

                                          You (and other staff) should have looked at him/her with a puzzled face and asked them what in the world it is they're talking about - pretend no one else can see it.

                                          "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                                          "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert

                                          "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

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