List Your "Favorite" Corporo-speak Buzzwords/Phrases
-
Had a Telco Vendor tell me today that we needed to "ping" another vendor about an issue...
Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.
gavindon wrote:
Had a Telco Vendor tell me today that we needed to "ping" another vendor about an issue...
and how many sugar packets did it take till the vendor responded?
///////////////// -Negative, I am a meat popsicle.
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
the one that make me cringe; "going forward"
///////////////// -Negative, I am a meat popsicle.
-
I love "app" actually. But I apply it to any application, which seems to irk the common folk, who seem to think it only applies to smartphones. :doh:
I often use the word "program", as in "I have a program I wrote to do just that!" and many of the (younger) people I know say - you mean an "app"? I don't know how to answer that. If I say yes, an app. then they will expect me to show them it running on my Blackberry; if I say no, it's a program (which is what I usually say since saying it is a "application" makes it sound like a coat of paint or something more obnoxious to me) then they look at me like some kind of dinosaur!:~
- Life in the fast lane is only fun if you live in a country with no speed limits. - Of all the things I have lost, it is my mind that I miss the most. - I vaguely remember having a good memory...
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
This word is simply an abomination. See more at Buzzword Bingo[^]
cheers, Chris Maunder The Code Project | Co-founder Microsoft C++ MVP
-
This word is simply an abomination. See more at Buzzword Bingo[^]
cheers, Chris Maunder The Code Project | Co-founder Microsoft C++ MVP
Sheesh, I thought the word was "incentivize"!
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
"We need to onboard new processes in order to align to our key business initiatives to realise our objectives" I had a go and I think, roughly translated, that this means "The old way of doing it was shit, lets do something else" "We're making a strategic response to market conditions", or "You're all fired!" Personally I just like to string together buzzwords in meetings and see how many managers agree, and then ask them how we should "realise" the initiative.
-
This word is simply an abomination. See more at Buzzword Bingo[^]
cheers, Chris Maunder The Code Project | Co-founder Microsoft C++ MVP
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
paradigm especially when you realise that in any single meeting where it is used, the odds are that at least 75% of the attendees dont actually know what it means. (and that usually includes the person who just used it)
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
I posted this in Buzzword Bingo as well, so pardon the repetition but it does wind me up, the use of "Action" to replace the simple English word "Do". "Can you action this ASAP" - ARRGGHHHH!! Makes me want to reply with "Yo! We are Go, Go, Go with that for next loop in 5, 4, 3,...." X| Danny
-
-
feedback "I'd like to give you some feedback about the email you sent" and I almost forgot "Your first goal with this project should be to create and maintain steak-holder buy-in"
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
"We will get back to you on this" . The funny thing is as soon as the manager sends this email to the client side contact, he sends another email to lead engineer or the group distribution list "Team - Any update on this". This mail will be same thread on which the client and manager were communicating, however while sending to the engineers, the client is removed from CC. :(( :-\
--> Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. --> In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
-
no. and to make it worse, she didn't say it once, but at least 5 times in the same conversation. What, because I'm the IT guy you think that saying "ping somebody" makes you sound like you are using relevant terms? jeesh I felt like reaching through the phone to slap her. I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people, I do not want to know that much info about them..... :-D
Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
There must be a thousand, but if there's one word even a hint of which raises the hair on the back of my neck, it's diversity. Partly because it's such left-liberal / PC cant, and partly because of the damage it does to so many organizations.
There have been days, especially recently, when a manager above my head has started blathering about "our need for greater diversity," and I've come close to snapping. I've been torn between the conflicting impulses to recommend that we hire a few rodeo clowns, grifters, and prostitutes into the Engineering Department -- think how diverse that would make us! -- and inquiring whether the moron was planning to have his skin dyed or get a sex change.
Sigh. I suppose there are good reasons not to allow us to bring our firearms onto the campus.
(This message is programming you in ways you cannot detect. Be afraid.)
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
My more memorable one during my career were. "Our positive cash flow model currently gives us the resources for........" (NOTE: this model apparently is extremely risky as ironically they went bankrupt 18 months later) "The customer experience starts and ends with us. We need to make sure we are being thought-full not thought-less of their expectations" And my personal favorite soapbox executive cheerleading comment. "We have a team of robust and highly motivated people. We have a dynamic unmatched in the industry." I'm still not quite sure what that last one really means. Especially since the "industry" has nothing to do with software. :rolleyes:
-
And its cousin "holistic"
-
And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
"We" when it actually means "you", like in "We have to do this and that" and "We need to be proactive about this". Also all the buzzwords in this: http://www.geekherocomic.com/2008/08/25/bob-the-manager/[^]