List Your "Favorite" Corporo-speak Buzzwords/Phrases
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And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
"We need to onboard new processes in order to align to our key business initiatives to realise our objectives" I had a go and I think, roughly translated, that this means "The old way of doing it was shit, lets do something else" "We're making a strategic response to market conditions", or "You're all fired!" Personally I just like to string together buzzwords in meetings and see how many managers agree, and then ask them how we should "realise" the initiative.
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This word is simply an abomination. See more at Buzzword Bingo[^]
cheers, Chris Maunder The Code Project | Co-founder Microsoft C++ MVP
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And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
paradigm especially when you realise that in any single meeting where it is used, the odds are that at least 75% of the attendees dont actually know what it means. (and that usually includes the person who just used it)
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
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And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
I posted this in Buzzword Bingo as well, so pardon the repetition but it does wind me up, the use of "Action" to replace the simple English word "Do". "Can you action this ASAP" - ARRGGHHHH!! Makes me want to reply with "Yo! We are Go, Go, Go with that for next loop in 5, 4, 3,...." X| Danny
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feedback "I'd like to give you some feedback about the email you sent" and I almost forgot "Your first goal with this project should be to create and maintain steak-holder buy-in"
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And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
"We will get back to you on this" . The funny thing is as soon as the manager sends this email to the client side contact, he sends another email to lead engineer or the group distribution list "Team - Any update on this". This mail will be same thread on which the client and manager were communicating, however while sending to the engineers, the client is removed from CC. :(( :-\
--> Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. --> In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
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And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
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no. and to make it worse, she didn't say it once, but at least 5 times in the same conversation. What, because I'm the IT guy you think that saying "ping somebody" makes you sound like you are using relevant terms? jeesh I felt like reaching through the phone to slap her. I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people, I do not want to know that much info about them..... :-D
Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.
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And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
There must be a thousand, but if there's one word even a hint of which raises the hair on the back of my neck, it's diversity. Partly because it's such left-liberal / PC cant, and partly because of the damage it does to so many organizations.
There have been days, especially recently, when a manager above my head has started blathering about "our need for greater diversity," and I've come close to snapping. I've been torn between the conflicting impulses to recommend that we hire a few rodeo clowns, grifters, and prostitutes into the Engineering Department -- think how diverse that would make us! -- and inquiring whether the moron was planning to have his skin dyed or get a sex change.
Sigh. I suppose there are good reasons not to allow us to bring our firearms onto the campus.
(This message is programming you in ways you cannot detect. Be afraid.)
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And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
My more memorable one during my career were. "Our positive cash flow model currently gives us the resources for........" (NOTE: this model apparently is extremely risky as ironically they went bankrupt 18 months later) "The customer experience starts and ends with us. We need to make sure we are being thought-full not thought-less of their expectations" And my personal favorite soapbox executive cheerleading comment. "We have a team of robust and highly motivated people. We have a dynamic unmatched in the industry." I'm still not quite sure what that last one really means. Especially since the "industry" has nothing to do with software. :rolleyes:
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And its cousin "holistic"
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And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
"We" when it actually means "you", like in "We have to do this and that" and "We need to be proactive about this". Also all the buzzwords in this: http://www.geekherocomic.com/2008/08/25/bob-the-manager/[^]
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And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
"Mistakes were made." Implying "but not by me."
The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes -
Nowadays, any noun can be verbed.
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no. and to make it worse, she didn't say it once, but at least 5 times in the same conversation. What, because I'm the IT guy you think that saying "ping somebody" makes you sound like you are using relevant terms? jeesh I felt like reaching through the phone to slap her. I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people, I do not want to know that much info about them..... :-D
Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.
gavindon wrote:
I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people
Somehow, the notion of being "pinged" sounds like something that would cause me to jump out of my chair and shout, "Who did that?!"
XAlan Burkhart
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And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Membrane.Inside("Insane");
"You're not looking at the Big Picture"
XAlan Burkhart
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Could have been worse ... She might have done a Unix course and wanted to finger them or touch them.
WhoIs you?
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gavindon wrote:
I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people
Somehow, the notion of being "pinged" sounds like something that would cause me to jump out of my chair and shout, "Who did that?!"
XAlan Burkhart
kinda what I was thinking..
Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.