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  3. List Your "Favorite" Corporo-speak Buzzwords/Phrases

List Your "Favorite" Corporo-speak Buzzwords/Phrases

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  • U UNCRushFan

    And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    Membrane.Inside("Insane");

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    CHill60
    wrote on last edited by
    #24

    "For the avoidance of confusion" ... this has started appearing in loads of our docs recently, it's not clear why :rolleyes:

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    • U UNCRushFan

      And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

      Membrane.Inside("Insane");

      D Offline
      D Offline
      Danny Martin
      wrote on last edited by
      #25

      I posted this in Buzzword Bingo as well, so pardon the repetition but it does wind me up, the use of "Action" to replace the simple English word "Do". "Can you action this ASAP" - ARRGGHHHH!! Makes me want to reply with "Yo! We are Go, Go, Go with that for next loop in 5, 4, 3,...." X| Danny

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      • L Lost User

        What was his TTL?

        Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: if you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]

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        K Offline
        KbrKnight
        wrote on last edited by
        #26

        Very nice response. Guess, it's "Request timed out"

        --> Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. --> In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

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        • L Lost User

          feedback "I'd like to give you some feedback about the email you sent" and I almost forgot "Your first goal with this project should be to create and maintain steak-holder buy-in"

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          B Offline
          BobJanova
          wrote on last edited by
          #27

          "... steak-holder ..." I could buy in to that :-\

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          • U UNCRushFan

            And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

            Membrane.Inside("Insane");

            K Offline
            K Offline
            KbrKnight
            wrote on last edited by
            #28

            "We will get back to you on this" . The funny thing is as soon as the manager sends this email to the client side contact, he sends another email to lead engineer or the group distribution list "Team - Any update on this". This mail will be same thread on which the client and manager were communicating, however while sending to the engineers, the client is removed from CC. :(( :-\

            --> Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. --> In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

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            • U UNCRushFan

              And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

              Membrane.Inside("Insane");

              B Offline
              B Offline
              BobJanova
              wrote on last edited by
              #29

              "Onboard" as a verb.

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              • G gavindon

                no. and to make it worse, she didn't say it once, but at least 5 times in the same conversation. What, because I'm the IT guy you think that saying "ping somebody" makes you sound like you are using relevant terms? jeesh I felt like reaching through the phone to slap her. I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people, I do not want to know that much info about them..... :-D

                Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                J Offline
                J Offline
                jsc42
                wrote on last edited by
                #30

                Could have been worse ... She might have done a Unix course and wanted to finger them or touch them.

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                • U UNCRushFan

                  And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

                  Membrane.Inside("Insane");

                  F Offline
                  F Offline
                  Fran Porretto
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #31

                  There must be a thousand, but if there's one word even a hint of which raises the hair on the back of my neck, it's diversity. Partly because it's such left-liberal / PC cant, and partly because of the damage it does to so many organizations.

                  There have been days, especially recently, when a manager above my head has started blathering about "our need for greater diversity," and I've come close to snapping. I've been torn between the conflicting impulses to recommend that we hire a few rodeo clowns, grifters, and prostitutes into the Engineering Department -- think how diverse that would make us! -- and inquiring whether the moron was planning to have his skin dyed or get a sex change.

                  Sigh. I suppose there are good reasons not to allow us to bring our firearms onto the campus.

                  (This message is programming you in ways you cannot detect. Be afraid.)

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                  • U UNCRushFan

                    And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

                    Membrane.Inside("Insane");

                    K Offline
                    K Offline
                    KLPounds
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #32

                    My more memorable one during my career were. "Our positive cash flow model currently gives us the resources for........" (NOTE: this model apparently is extremely risky as ironically they went bankrupt 18 months later) "The customer experience starts and ends with us. We need to make sure we are being thought-full not thought-less of their expectations" And my personal favorite soapbox executive cheerleading comment. "We have a team of robust and highly motivated people. We have a dynamic unmatched in the industry." I'm still not quite sure what that last one really means. Especially since the "industry" has nothing to do with software. :rolleyes:

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                    • L lewax00

                      "Synergy"

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                      M Offline
                      Member 7736741
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #33

                      And its cousin "holistic"

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                      • U UNCRushFan

                        And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

                        Membrane.Inside("Insane");

                        O Offline
                        O Offline
                        Orlin Georgiev
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #34

                        "We" when it actually means "you", like in "We have to do this and that" and "We need to be proactive about this". Also all the buzzwords in this: http://www.geekherocomic.com/2008/08/25/bob-the-manager/[^]

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                        • U UNCRushFan

                          And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

                          Membrane.Inside("Insane");

                          J Offline
                          J Offline
                          JimmyRopes
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #35

                          "Mistakes were made." Implying "but not by me."

                          The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
                          Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
                          Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
                          I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes

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                          • B BobJanova

                            "Onboard" as a verb.

                            J Offline
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                            John Hunley
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #36

                            Nowadays, any noun can be verbed.

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                            • G gavindon

                              no. and to make it worse, she didn't say it once, but at least 5 times in the same conversation. What, because I'm the IT guy you think that saying "ping somebody" makes you sound like you are using relevant terms? jeesh I felt like reaching through the phone to slap her. I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people, I do not want to know that much info about them..... :-D

                              Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                              A Offline
                              A Offline
                              Alan Burkhart
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #37

                              gavindon wrote:

                              I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people

                              Somehow, the notion of being "pinged" sounds like something that would cause me to jump out of my chair and shout, "Who did that?!"

                              XAlan Burkhart

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                              • U UNCRushFan

                                And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

                                Membrane.Inside("Insane");

                                A Offline
                                A Offline
                                Alan Burkhart
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #38

                                "You're not looking at the Big Picture"

                                XAlan Burkhart

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                                • J jsc42

                                  Could have been worse ... She might have done a Unix course and wanted to finger them or touch them.

                                  J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  JackDingler
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #39

                                  WhoIs you?

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                                  • A Alan Burkhart

                                    gavindon wrote:

                                    I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people

                                    Somehow, the notion of being "pinged" sounds like something that would cause me to jump out of my chair and shout, "Who did that?!"

                                    XAlan Burkhart

                                    G Offline
                                    G Offline
                                    gavindon
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #40

                                    kinda what I was thinking..

                                    Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • G gavindon

                                      no. and to make it worse, she didn't say it once, but at least 5 times in the same conversation. What, because I'm the IT guy you think that saying "ping somebody" makes you sound like you are using relevant terms? jeesh I felt like reaching through the phone to slap her. I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people, I do not want to know that much info about them..... :-D

                                      Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                                      F Offline
                                      F Offline
                                      Florin Jurcovici 0
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #41

                                      You probably also don't scan other people's ports ... Although it would be funny, I think, in a nerdish way, to map various scanning techniques to something meaningful in non-tech terms.

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                                      0
                                      • L Lost User

                                        Ugh! Muggle want app too!

                                        At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity

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                                        F Offline
                                        Florin Jurcovici 0
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #42

                                        CDP1802 wrote:

                                        At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity

                                        Idunno ... IMO natural dumbness out-dumbs any artificial dumbness anytime.

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                                        • F Florin Jurcovici 0

                                          You probably also don't scan other people's ports ... Although it would be funny, I think, in a nerdish way, to map various scanning techniques to something meaningful in non-tech terms.

                                          G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          gavindon
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #43

                                          well, I might scan a certain Mrs. ports... oh I'm not gonna finish that thought..

                                          Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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