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  3. List Your "Favorite" Corporo-speak Buzzwords/Phrases

List Your "Favorite" Corporo-speak Buzzwords/Phrases

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  • L Lost User

    What was his TTL?

    Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: if you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]

    K Offline
    K Offline
    KbrKnight
    wrote on last edited by
    #26

    Very nice response. Guess, it's "Request timed out"

    --> Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. --> In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

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    • L Lost User

      feedback "I'd like to give you some feedback about the email you sent" and I almost forgot "Your first goal with this project should be to create and maintain steak-holder buy-in"

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      B Offline
      BobJanova
      wrote on last edited by
      #27

      "... steak-holder ..." I could buy in to that :-\

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      • U UNCRushFan

        And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

        Membrane.Inside("Insane");

        K Offline
        K Offline
        KbrKnight
        wrote on last edited by
        #28

        "We will get back to you on this" . The funny thing is as soon as the manager sends this email to the client side contact, he sends another email to lead engineer or the group distribution list "Team - Any update on this". This mail will be same thread on which the client and manager were communicating, however while sending to the engineers, the client is removed from CC. :(( :-\

        --> Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. --> In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

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        • U UNCRushFan

          And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

          Membrane.Inside("Insane");

          B Offline
          B Offline
          BobJanova
          wrote on last edited by
          #29

          "Onboard" as a verb.

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          • G gavindon

            no. and to make it worse, she didn't say it once, but at least 5 times in the same conversation. What, because I'm the IT guy you think that saying "ping somebody" makes you sound like you are using relevant terms? jeesh I felt like reaching through the phone to slap her. I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people, I do not want to know that much info about them..... :-D

            Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

            J Offline
            J Offline
            jsc42
            wrote on last edited by
            #30

            Could have been worse ... She might have done a Unix course and wanted to finger them or touch them.

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            • U UNCRushFan

              And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

              Membrane.Inside("Insane");

              F Offline
              F Offline
              Fran Porretto
              wrote on last edited by
              #31

              There must be a thousand, but if there's one word even a hint of which raises the hair on the back of my neck, it's diversity. Partly because it's such left-liberal / PC cant, and partly because of the damage it does to so many organizations.

              There have been days, especially recently, when a manager above my head has started blathering about "our need for greater diversity," and I've come close to snapping. I've been torn between the conflicting impulses to recommend that we hire a few rodeo clowns, grifters, and prostitutes into the Engineering Department -- think how diverse that would make us! -- and inquiring whether the moron was planning to have his skin dyed or get a sex change.

              Sigh. I suppose there are good reasons not to allow us to bring our firearms onto the campus.

              (This message is programming you in ways you cannot detect. Be afraid.)

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              • U UNCRushFan

                And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

                Membrane.Inside("Insane");

                K Offline
                K Offline
                KLPounds
                wrote on last edited by
                #32

                My more memorable one during my career were. "Our positive cash flow model currently gives us the resources for........" (NOTE: this model apparently is extremely risky as ironically they went bankrupt 18 months later) "The customer experience starts and ends with us. We need to make sure we are being thought-full not thought-less of their expectations" And my personal favorite soapbox executive cheerleading comment. "We have a team of robust and highly motivated people. We have a dynamic unmatched in the industry." I'm still not quite sure what that last one really means. Especially since the "industry" has nothing to do with software. :rolleyes:

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                • L lewax00

                  "Synergy"

                  M Offline
                  M Offline
                  Member 7736741
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #33

                  And its cousin "holistic"

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                  • U UNCRushFan

                    And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

                    Membrane.Inside("Insane");

                    O Offline
                    O Offline
                    Orlin Georgiev
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #34

                    "We" when it actually means "you", like in "We have to do this and that" and "We need to be proactive about this". Also all the buzzwords in this: http://www.geekherocomic.com/2008/08/25/bob-the-manager/[^]

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                    • U UNCRushFan

                      And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

                      Membrane.Inside("Insane");

                      J Offline
                      J Offline
                      JimmyRopes
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #35

                      "Mistakes were made." Implying "but not by me."

                      The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
                      Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
                      Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
                      I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes

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                      • B BobJanova

                        "Onboard" as a verb.

                        J Offline
                        J Offline
                        John Hunley
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #36

                        Nowadays, any noun can be verbed.

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                        • G gavindon

                          no. and to make it worse, she didn't say it once, but at least 5 times in the same conversation. What, because I'm the IT guy you think that saying "ping somebody" makes you sound like you are using relevant terms? jeesh I felt like reaching through the phone to slap her. I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people, I do not want to know that much info about them..... :-D

                          Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                          A Offline
                          A Offline
                          Alan Burkhart
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #37

                          gavindon wrote:

                          I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people

                          Somehow, the notion of being "pinged" sounds like something that would cause me to jump out of my chair and shout, "Who did that?!"

                          XAlan Burkhart

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                          • U UNCRushFan

                            And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

                            Membrane.Inside("Insane");

                            A Offline
                            A Offline
                            Alan Burkhart
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #38

                            "You're not looking at the Big Picture"

                            XAlan Burkhart

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                            • J jsc42

                              Could have been worse ... She might have done a Unix course and wanted to finger them or touch them.

                              J Offline
                              J Offline
                              JackDingler
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #39

                              WhoIs you?

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                              • A Alan Burkhart

                                gavindon wrote:

                                I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people

                                Somehow, the notion of being "pinged" sounds like something that would cause me to jump out of my chair and shout, "Who did that?!"

                                XAlan Burkhart

                                G Offline
                                G Offline
                                gavindon
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #40

                                kinda what I was thinking..

                                Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • G gavindon

                                  no. and to make it worse, she didn't say it once, but at least 5 times in the same conversation. What, because I'm the IT guy you think that saying "ping somebody" makes you sound like you are using relevant terms? jeesh I felt like reaching through the phone to slap her. I ping a computer, I do NOT ping other people, I do not want to know that much info about them..... :-D

                                  Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                                  F Offline
                                  F Offline
                                  Florin Jurcovici 0
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #41

                                  You probably also don't scan other people's ports ... Although it would be funny, I think, in a nerdish way, to map various scanning techniques to something meaningful in non-tech terms.

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                                  • L Lost User

                                    Ugh! Muggle want app too!

                                    At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity

                                    F Offline
                                    F Offline
                                    Florin Jurcovici 0
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #42

                                    CDP1802 wrote:

                                    At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity

                                    Idunno ... IMO natural dumbness out-dumbs any artificial dumbness anytime.

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                                    • F Florin Jurcovici 0

                                      You probably also don't scan other people's ports ... Although it would be funny, I think, in a nerdish way, to map various scanning techniques to something meaningful in non-tech terms.

                                      G Offline
                                      G Offline
                                      gavindon
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #43

                                      well, I might scan a certain Mrs. ports... oh I'm not gonna finish that thought..

                                      Common sense is not a gift it's a curse. Those of us who have it have to deal with those that don't.... Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • U UNCRushFan

                                        And by "favorite," of course I mean most disliked. "I'll reach out to you about ___________________." "Where are we with ______________________." "We need to have a conversation about ______________." "________________ resources ____________________." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

                                        Membrane.Inside("Insane");

                                        O Offline
                                        O Offline
                                        omahabull
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #44

                                        I did a quick scan through the thread and was surprised not to see this one: Down-sized That's one that really makes me cringe, especially since that's the term that was used 2 or 3 times when my last employer was showing me the door! :rolleyes:

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                                        • W Wjousts

                                          "Learnings" and "Leverage"

                                          Z Offline
                                          Z Offline
                                          zwickerr
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #45

                                          Yes, Leverage as a verb.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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