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"The World's Worst Software Developer"

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  • W wizardzz

    Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

    W Offline
    W Offline
    wizardzz
    wrote on last edited by
    #71

    We'll save memory by using a 2 digit year!

    P C 2 Replies Last reply
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    • W wizardzz

      We'll save memory by using a 2 digit year!

      P Offline
      P Offline
      PIEBALDconsult
      wrote on last edited by
      #72

      We'll save memory by using integers to store telephone numbers!

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • L Lost User

        I just couldn't imagine that with a Korean accent.

        C Offline
        C Offline
        Colin Mullikin
        wrote on last edited by
        #73

        It is a bit tricky... :laugh:

        The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin

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        • R Rajesh R Subramanian

          What debugger?

          "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

          P Offline
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          PIEBALDconsult
          wrote on last edited by
          #74

          "When I was your age we didn't have debuggers!"

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          • W wizardzz

            Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

            R Offline
            R Offline
            Ravi Bhavnani
            wrote on last edited by
            #75

            Storing passwords in plain-text makes for the fastest login experience. /ravi

            My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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            • R Ravi Bhavnani

              Storing passwords in plain-text makes for the fastest login experience. /ravi

              My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

              W Offline
              W Offline
              wizardzz
              wrote on last edited by
              #76

              and password recovery is a breeze!

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • W wizardzz

                Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                P Offline
                P Offline
                PIEBALDconsult
                wrote on last edited by
                #77

                The world's first Software Developer: "I don't think it's supposed to go in that hole, Mr. Babbage."

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • W wizardzz

                  Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                  K Offline
                  K Offline
                  Karl Sanford
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #78

                  Have any of you ever heard of this 'GridView'?

                  wizardzz wrote:

                  Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185?

                  I think a regular rotation of things like this would be fun.

                  Be The Noise

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                  • L Lost User

                    My Project is really Service Oriented because I have 10 Web Service in it!

                    Meysam

                    Z Offline
                    Z Offline
                    Zabuzamomochi
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #79

                    My software architecture is SOA because it sends SOAP messages

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • A Andrew Rissing

                      The coder who writes a Skype-like[^] website for $1,500.

                      O Offline
                      O Offline
                      Oshtri Deka
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #80

                      This is kind of sad.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • W wizardzz

                        Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                        B Offline
                        B Offline
                        BillWoodruff
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #81

                        Of course the prototype doesn't do anything yet: we are still in the n-tier architectural phase.

                        "If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer ?" Stephen Wright

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • W wizardzz

                          "I do almost everything in Excel. You can call me Dave."

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                          T Offline
                          Tony Wright UK
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #82

                          Now this is spooky! I had a manager who did EVERYTHING in Excel and his name was Dave!

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • W wizardzz

                            Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            BrainiacV
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #83

                            A series of quotes I've heard over the years. "There is no need to comment. The instructions tell you what is happening." "All these instructions in the S/370 Assembler is BS. You only need a handful of opcodes. Load, Store, Branch, Gosub, Return, Add, and Subtract. That's all you need." "The C compiler generates code just as good as anyone writing in Assembler." "The C compiler doesn't have any bugs like a program, it's a compiler, not a program." "Microsoft's memory manager does not work, which is why we wrote our own." "Source code control guarantees the program will always compile and run." "This processor can handle interrupts at any speed you choose." ...Hardware guys proceed to design hardware generating interrupts twice as fast as the processor can respond to, let alone process. "You don't have to worry about that condition. It only happens every once in a while." "Don't comment the code aside from a block of pseudocode at the beginning of the routine." "It can't be the hardware, it must be the software." ...explaining why only 1 of 60 identical controls is failing. After seeing prototype "Why can't we roll this out?" "Why can't you estimate how long it will take to write the software like we estimate how long it will take to build the hardware?" There are more, but this is depressing me.

                            Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.

                            A 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • W wizardzz

                              Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #84

                              I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • W wizardzz

                                Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                                A Offline
                                A Offline
                                agolddog
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #85

                                I actually had a guy say to some of us in a status meeting: "I didn't know what that code was doing, so I took it out." He didn't last much longer after that.

                                N 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • B BrainiacV

                                  A series of quotes I've heard over the years. "There is no need to comment. The instructions tell you what is happening." "All these instructions in the S/370 Assembler is BS. You only need a handful of opcodes. Load, Store, Branch, Gosub, Return, Add, and Subtract. That's all you need." "The C compiler generates code just as good as anyone writing in Assembler." "The C compiler doesn't have any bugs like a program, it's a compiler, not a program." "Microsoft's memory manager does not work, which is why we wrote our own." "Source code control guarantees the program will always compile and run." "This processor can handle interrupts at any speed you choose." ...Hardware guys proceed to design hardware generating interrupts twice as fast as the processor can respond to, let alone process. "You don't have to worry about that condition. It only happens every once in a while." "Don't comment the code aside from a block of pseudocode at the beginning of the routine." "It can't be the hardware, it must be the software." ...explaining why only 1 of 60 identical controls is failing. After seeing prototype "Why can't we roll this out?" "Why can't you estimate how long it will take to write the software like we estimate how long it will take to build the hardware?" There are more, but this is depressing me.

                                  Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.

                                  A Offline
                                  A Offline
                                  Andrew Rissing
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #86

                                  Odd, but I don't get the impression that all of these are from developers. I feel a few of the "World's Worst Managers" crept in here as well...

                                  BrainiacV wrote:

                                  After seeing prototype "Why can't we roll this out?"

                                  BrainiacV wrote:

                                  "Why can't you estimate how long it will take to write the software like we estimate how long it will take to build the hardware?"

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • W wizardzz

                                    Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Lost User
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #87

                                    True story - was training a dev someone to take over my MVC system. Asked him if he had ever coded in Visual Studio before. "Sure" he said - told me that he had written a huge system using WPF et al - the huge system took him 3 months and it was a complete success. Come time to setup his Visual Studio - he asked me to wait a sec to see if he had VS installed on his laptop. He didn't - so we got it installed. Finally after 2 days - got the whole environment and solution setup in VS. This is where it gets sad. Got him to build the app (had to tell him how to build the app..... you know like "f5"?) - and then asked him if he could go in the debugger to check something out - his reply "where is the debugger". Classic.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • W wizardzz

                                      Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                                      S Offline
                                      S Offline
                                      Sasha Laurel
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #88

                                      What is null?

                                      W 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • S Sasha Laurel

                                        What is null?

                                        W Offline
                                        W Offline
                                        wizardzz
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #89

                                        "Oh baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more"

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • W wizardzz

                                          Based on some feedback, I will be mixing in other games with 185. Or do you guys want it in addition to daily 185? Either way, here's a new one. It's called "World's Worst." It's a one liner game, so really try to keep them as one liners. And DO NOT copy and paste a joke, or retell a joke, it won't be funny and on stage, you'd get called out. I'll reply with a couple to get started. Keep in mind, references to others tend to gets high points. If anyone is still struggling to grasp it, here's a version from the World's Worst TV show: [^] "The World's Worst Software Developer"

                                          S Offline
                                          S Offline
                                          SeattleC
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #90

                                          It was hard to write. It's gonna be hard to understand how to use.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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