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World's Worst...

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  • A Andrei Straut

    (Inspired by one of Pete's above): We can only help you if you provide us with the following information: Name, Address, Credit Card Number, Credit Card Security Code, Bank Account and Credit Card PIN. [joke] Also, PO'H does seem to be full of ideas here, speaking from experience? [/joke]

    Full-fledged Java/.NET lover, full-fledged PHP hater. Full-fledged Google/Microsoft lover, full-fledged Apple hater. Full-fledged Skype lover, full-fledged YM hater.

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    Pete OHanlon
    wrote on last edited by
    #24

    Actually, this one's too easy - I've not posted several others that I could have let rip with.

    *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

    "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

    CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

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    • A Andrei Straut

      (Inspired by one of Pete's above): We can only help you if you provide us with the following information: Name, Address, Credit Card Number, Credit Card Security Code, Bank Account and Credit Card PIN. [joke] Also, PO'H does seem to be full of ideas here, speaking from experience? [/joke]

      Full-fledged Java/.NET lover, full-fledged PHP hater. Full-fledged Google/Microsoft lover, full-fledged Apple hater. Full-fledged Skype lover, full-fledged YM hater.

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      Pete OHanlon
      wrote on last edited by
      #25

      Will you be my friend Andrei?

      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

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      • P Pete OHanlon

        Will you be my friend Andrei?

        *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

        "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

        CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

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        Andrei Straut
        wrote on last edited by
        #26

        Only if you provide me with the info stated above :)

        Full-fledged Java/.NET lover, full-fledged PHP hater. Full-fledged Google/Microsoft lover, full-fledged Apple hater. Full-fledged Skype lover, full-fledged YM hater.

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        • W wizardzz

          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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          Rage
          wrote on last edited by
          #27

          * Insert more than famous classical music piece playing in loop *

          ~RaGE();

          I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb

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          • W wizardzz

            Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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            S Houghtelin
            wrote on last edited by
            #28

            < backgroundMusic > ♫♪♫♪ आपकी कॉल हमारे लिए महत्वपूर्ण है! ♫♪♫♪ < /backgroundMusic >

            It was broke, so I fixed it.

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            • W wizardzz

              Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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              Rage
              wrote on last edited by
              #29

              Your problem does not seem to be in my solution tree, and you tried to talk me into shortcutting the first 15 questions. I cannot help you, and I am not allowed to disturb my boss while he's playing poker with Richard of the marketing. You are screwed.

              ~RaGE();

              I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb

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              • S S Houghtelin

                < backgroundMusic > ♫♪♫♪ आपकी कॉल हमारे लिए महत्वपूर्ण है! ♫♪♫♪ < /backgroundMusic >

                It was broke, so I fixed it.

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                Rage
                wrote on last edited by
                #30

                Sorry Mr Samsung, while your design is better, I have a copyright[^] on this one.

                ~RaGE();

                I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb

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                • R Rage

                  Sorry Mr Samsung, while your design is better, I have a copyright[^] on this one.

                  ~RaGE();

                  I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb

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                  S Houghtelin
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #31

                  Mine has lyrics [^]:-D

                  It was broke, so I fixed it.

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                  • W wizardzz

                    Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                    Pete OHanlon
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #32

                    Hello pretty lady. I know where you live. You like to make the bumpety-bump with me? I wash just for you.

                    *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                    "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                    CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

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                    • W wizardzz

                      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                      CARisk3
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #33

                      Said by the IT guy after they replaced my hard drive for the 3rd time - IT guy: "You know what will fix this problem?" Me: "No?" IT guy: "Don't touch the keyboard." I'm not kidding I was really told this.

                      If you can’t have fun at work, then why go to work?

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                      • W wizardzz

                        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                        dbrenth
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #34

                        Try CodeProject. Someone there will google it for you.

                        Brent

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                        • W wizardzz

                          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #35

                          Tech Support guy at the last place I worked was taken away by the police one day along with his computer. Neither were seen again. So he was quite bad.

                          Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends. Shed Petition[^]

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                          • W wizardzz

                            Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                            Rutvik Dave
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #36

                            ring...ring...ring...ring...ring... .... .... ... The person at 4..5..5..6..7..8..1..2..3..4 can't take your call now, please leave your message after the beep... beeeeep...! sorry the voice mail box is full, good bye! [ clicks ]

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                            • W wizardzz

                              Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                              PIEBALDconsult
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #37

                              ... and by the way... you're welcome.

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                              • W wizardzz

                                Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                                Ian Shlasko
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #38

                                "See, the first thing y'all wanna do, is take that there plug, 'n stick it 'n the hole 'round back..."

                                Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

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                                • W wizardzz

                                  Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                                  thatraja
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #39

                                  Agree with Chris Meech[^]. Many IVR systems sucks. Yesterday I called my Internet provider when my connection down. *Ringing* Automatic Voice : Welcome to !@#$%^. Press 1 for English Press 2 for [Indian Language 1] Press 3 for [Indian Language 2] *After pressed number* Automatic Voice : At end of the call, please participate on our survey & please give your feedback. It'll take only 2 mins. Press 1 to enter the Account Number Press 2 to enter the Phone Number Press 3 to enter [some other option] *After pressed number* Automatic Voice : You entered the number XXXXXXX, if this is right press 0 else press 1 *After pressed number* Automatic Voice : Your complaints & feedbacks are important to us so we're recording this conversation. Press 1 to know about your account details Press 2 to know about our other plans/offers Press 3 to some other option . . . . Press 9 to talk to customer care persons All I wanted the last option(9) X| It took around 5 mins to reach the customer care person.

                                  thatraja

                                  FREE Code Conversion VB6 ASP VB.NET C# ASP.NET C++ JAVA PHP DELPHI ColdFusion
                                  HTML Marquee & its alternatives

                                  Nobody remains a virgin, Life screws everyone :sigh:

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                                  • I Ian Shlasko

                                    "See, the first thing y'all wanna do, is take that there plug, 'n stick it 'n the hole 'round back..."

                                    Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                    Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

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                                    wizardzz
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #40

                                    Hahaha. I don't want to make fun of dialects, but I bought a computer from a company in Kentucky or Tennessee. The process wasn't too far off from sounding like that, but they were actually great.

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                                    • P Pete OHanlon

                                      My puppy died when I set fire to it. Will you be my friend?

                                      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

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                                      Albert Holguin
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #41

                                      On a roll there Pete... thinking you've probably had quite a bit of experience saying these things... ;P

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                                      • W wizardzz

                                        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                                        jesarg
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #42

                                        Hello. Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line and listen to a screechy, crackling, indecipherable recording of upbeat 70's music at ten times the volume of the voice of our representative. Our next available representative will answer your call once you have gone insane or buried your phone receiver in a deep grave and sprinkled holy water on its cemetary plot, whichever comes last.

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                                        • W wizardzz

                                          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                                          RJOberg
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #43

                                          Not a one liner, but a personal experience working customer service / tech support at a store that also had a copy shop in it. Customer : Can you help me with these self serve copiers? Me : Well, I could... but then they wouldn't be self serve would they?

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